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View Poll Results: Do you like to 'Judge' people?

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  • Yes

    8 34.78%
  • No

    10 43.48%
  • Maybe

    5 21.74%
  • God

    5 21.74%
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  1. #21
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I don't like judging people, but I do judge people, especially people who are mean and cruel and selfish. I know I should not judge them, and I try imagining them having a terrible childhood and feeling unloved, which then makes me feel guilty.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  2. #22
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    What about fair judgments?

    I dunno. Maybe I'm being dense, but I feel like the difference between accurate/fair judgment and inaccurate/unfair judgment is crucial here. It sounds really bad to say that you like judging people, in the context of, say, belittling them unfairly to boost your own ego. But in my case:

    - I prefer to understand why people act the way they do
    - It bothers me when I don't understand them
    - I understand people better when I can see them within a familiar framework.

    Saying "they're a unique and beautiful human being just like everyone else" doesn't solve the problem of Why They Are Driving Me Crazy, even if it's more accurate and harder to refute. But being able to give a name to what you see in them, does help. When used correctly -- hence my earlier distinction -- it's incredibly helpful. Not only is it reassuring and comforting, but it gives you insight as to how to deal with those people better. Which, like @Poimandres said in the OP, is exactly what the Myers-Briggs does.

    In short: I love making correct judgments with practical use. I hate making inaccurate judgments.
    I agree. I was going to try to post something like that but got frustrated typing it out.

    Also, there is a difference between a neutral judgement and one with moral undertones (or overtones). It is possible to acknowledge a person's behavior or attitude in a given circumstance (or series of circumstances) is destructive or counter-productive without looking down on them.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #23
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Who is to say that "judging" has to be negative? From the Oxford English Dictionary: [with object] form an opinion or conclusion about. We all do it.

    Saying that, I dislike it when I have a strong negative reaction (judgment) towards someone. I feel guilty and wonder about the reasoning behind it.
    Positive or negative, I just want information to come to me before I make conclusions about people.

    Once more information is given, that is when I form an opinion of someone (or that is what I would of liked.)

  4. #24
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    Judge and you shall be judged!

  5. #25
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    No. The only adverse reaction I have to any real circumstance of the human condition is large egoed individuals who overtly assert their veracity by simply stating they are in a position of superiority.

    Civil discourse is perfectly understandable, necessary and conducent to progress. The former qualities are not.

  6. #26
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
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    I'm judging you constantly. I wouldn't say that I *like* to do it though. (What a strange question).

  7. #27
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Depends on what you mean by "judge." I feel like most of the "judging" I do isn't about evaluating whether people are good or bad but about using the information I have to estimate what their behavior might be like in the future. Maybe Ps don't do this as much because their strength is adapting to situations. I definitely need to know what I am getting myself into.

  8. #28
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    What about fair judgments?

    I dunno. Maybe I'm being dense, but I feel like the difference between accurate/fair judgment and inaccurate/unfair judgment is crucial here. It sounds really bad to say that you like judging people, in the context of, say, belittling them unfairly to boost your own ego. But in my case:

    - I prefer to understand why people act the way they do
    - It bothers me when I don't understand them
    - I understand people better when I can see them within a familiar framework.

    Saying "they're a unique and beautiful human being just like everyone else" doesn't solve the problem of Why They Are Driving Me Crazy, even if it's more accurate and harder to refute. But being able to give a name to what you see in them, does help. When used correctly -- hence my earlier distinction -- it's incredibly helpful. Not only is it reassuring and comforting, but it gives you insight as to how to deal with those people better. Which, like @Poimandres said in the OP, is exactly what the Myers-Briggs does.

    In short = I love making correct judgments with practical use, and I hate making inaccurate judgments.



    Edit: I recognize the inherent bias in my use of the words "correct", "accurate", and "fair". But firstly, judging is unavoidable and everyone does it, so you might as well try to do it in a way that isn't hurtful. And secondly, I'm a 1w2 and as much as I try to be kind and accepting, the tendency to judge pulses through my veins every day of my life.
    In order to function in society we do need to make evaluations/judgments of others. Certitude combined with confirmation bias can sometimes be mistaken for accuracy. Because of the complexity of trying to accurately evaluate a highly subjective person through our own subjective perception, I think one safeguard is to remain open to continual revision of our judgments. I tend to equate judgmentalism with that oversimplified, firm certitude felt with prejudicial thinking. Lessening the certitude and internalizing more complexity about the actions of others I think can tend towards more accurate results.

    When I think about the limitations I have to even fully understand my own self, it does make it humbling to consider that I know far, far less about any other person, including family and long-term friends.

    Edit: Now this is a judgment on my part, but I think judgmentalism has gotten way out of hand in our society and it is directly connected to fear. I try to push back against that.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #29
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    I hate when I do it too, and really try not to.

    Related, I feel really uncomfortable when people try to involve me in gossip. I'm not going to say I never participate, but I have a habit of un-forcefully defending the person being talked about or saying something general about people that kind of excuses their behavior.

    This is partially because I feel judgement so acutely I think. I'm just so aware of how little grace is given to people when I listen to all of the judgments and criticisms and reasons for being mad or hurt. I try not to let it paralyze me, but I also use that to try to explain for others like I wish I could explain for myself. Even though I might personally be more affected than most, I still think it's damaging and like that I try to stand against it.
    Ahh, thanks for sharing this, nicolita. It explained one of my friends (who I now realize may be ENFP) very well.

    I don't get too worried about malicious gossip. In every single instance that I've heard it, people have just been making stuff up to put someone else down who denied them something (whether politely turning down a date, etc). It seems pointless when the things you say about someone aren't at all true.

  10. #30
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Glad that was helpful @Honor

    As far as the necessary kind of judging people are talking about, I think it's good to make observations and recognize patterns. There are some people I'd rather not hang out with, but not because I have them labeled as any particular kind of person, I just know that when I'm with them, what we want doesn't seem to jive. Maybe I wouldn't ask a certain person to take care if something important for me. I don't think of them as an irresponsible person or lazy or whatever, I've just noticed that they might not have the best track record with that kind of thing.

    Basically it's sweeping character judgments and assigning motives to behavior that get my goat.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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