Masturbate more.It#s been ten years since I have released myself onto the world. I have lived most of the time in my and my girlfriends world. I wanted to stay there and never leave... since I was kicked out, I am back in the game now. With growing loneliness, my power comes back, a lot of it. I have lost 35 lbs in 4 weeks cause I have so much momentum; I sleep 3 hours at night and that for a month aswell.
At the beginning it was just pain numbing confusion, combined with rage and agony but now the mind takes back control and I become focussed again, without loosing the rage and agony.
My circle of friends has in the last four weeks expanded by a good 30 people, I am provoking attention and people start flocking to my banner. I have had 4 dates in that time all successful but I am far from ready to be with a woman. I had sex with two of that dates and wasnt able to cum cause I am completly blocked. All chakras are closed.
There is this persitant rage and driving force, I can slap myself against the wall. Its not bad so far, on the contrary its all good, but I am afraid of what comes next