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  1. #1
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Default Whats your tactic to approach a woman with way lesser self-confidence than you have..

    ... given the premise you really want her and she is afraid of getting hurt ? (you know that all she doesnt so far)
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #2
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    I am not a big fan of tactics. I'd just say do your thing and let her come to you, maybe she will maybe she won't. Constantly having to figure out how to manipulate someone isn't worth it even if you're successful.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ism's Avatar
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    Kind of what Zago said. Be charming, try and woo her, ask her out. If she doesn't respond to it, I say don't pursue it. Why willingly try and start a relationship with someone with trust issues from the get-go?

    Unless you just want sex or the like. In which case, you really shouldn't do it, especially with someone with trust issues.

  4. #4
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    Right. I mean, what do you want her to like you for? Yourself, or the tactics?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ism's Avatar
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    If I'm interpreting the situation correctly, however, her guard is up. So no matter what kind of guy he is, entropie's going to have a hard time fighting against this girl's initial apprehension. With that in mind, I think the question is asking how his advances won't be immediately spurned. Not necessarily how to act like someone she would like, or to try and trick her into liking him.

    And with that said, I have no answer. The best thing I can think of is to make her feel safe. Or, rather, let her know she can feel safe around you. Like you won't betray her like all of those other guys did. I don't know where you stand with this woman, so it can take a while if she's just an acquaintance you happen to be interested in. It's up to you if you want to dedicate your emotional resources in this regard, because it's the only way her defenses will come down.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    I am not a big fan of tactics. I'd just say do your thing and let her come to you, maybe she will maybe she won't. Constantly having to figure out how to manipulate someone isn't worth it even if you're successful.
    Exactly. If she senses that you're over-thinking it, she may misinterpret your thoughtfulness (I assume that's what it is) as insincerity and manipulation.

    Hope it goes well.

  7. #7
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    act as an arrow flung from the bow.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Try to establish a connection with her. Focus less on flirting or being overly charming; be as transparent as possible. Be vulnerable. Be yourself
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  9. #9
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Ya tactic not as in: I lie to her to get what I want. Just important that I dont jump her with my enthusiasm that could prolly scare her off
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #10
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I thought you already had a gf, entropie?

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