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  1. #1
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Default How much self-confidence is too much self-confidence?

    I took that personal DNA test few days ago.

    The test said that I have stronger self-confidence then 94% of people who took the test so far.

    My question is: Do you think that this percentage is too high?

    Personally I think this percentage is great and I am sure that test result is correct.
    I say great because I never had a problem whit thinking like - can I do it? , should I be taller, I am fat- help meeeee! ....... and stuff like that.
    My thinking is always like : Do I need to do that or there is less difficult way to reach my goals ?

    Also I have very strong Introversion which can camouflage the entire thing so people think I am very frightened person who has strong social anxiety problem.
    I can sit whit 10 people for 4h at the same table and not start a single conversation.
    I simply live in my head and I love it. Also I am sure that immune to insults thing is a part of the same song.


    But the catch is that eventuality you have to say something and that means destroying two walls at once. First one is "OH MY GOD HE CAN TALK!!" the other one is that I am far more confident then my appearance/behavior dictates.

    When I open my mouth from time to time it is usually because I don't agree whit something or some plan that is represented is flawed by my opinion.
    That also means that my very strong J will show its self together whit my Te.

    But all of this means that other person sees something like this.
    Anxious INFP which turns into verbally aggressive INTJ who would debate you for 6 hours if he has to. And transformation lasts only one second.
    I am not saying that I lose my temper. I remain very calm.
    Just my way of communication in cases like this is not too friendly.
    Every time this happens I can sense that other person is
    thinking like WTF” or "What a hell are you?": shock:

    I am saying all of this because I am planning offensive in social sphere of my life.
    But as an example my parents know me relatively well and when they see me say something like “Ahhh the emperor has arrived! “what is clearly a sarcasm.
    So if I want to be more social I will have do something about my communication and be more playful whit other people.

    Also I will have to find a way to cover my confidence since I don’t know how to lose it.
    By this I mean stop going against everybody in conversations. What is definitively my way of doing things . So far I did never regret for living like this but it looks like that in the future I will need to have plan B and C as options if I want to progress further


    On the other hand why spending so much time and resources on confidence when my empathy score was only 2%. This is a part that need “repair”. Because 2% is in sociopath category.

    I know I have answered all questions but I am interested in opinions and coments.

  2. #2
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    There's no such thing as too much self-confidence.

    There is, however, such a thing as cockiness, which many confuse as that of being too self-confident when in fact it is just a product of *low* self-confidence.

    Self-confident people are comfortable with themselves, they know who they are, they value their strengths, understand their weaknesses and view themselves as worthy and competent people.
    Last edited by SillySapienne; 06-30-2008 at 10:21 PM.
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    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #3
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    There's no such thing as too much self-confidence.

    There is, however, such a thing as cockiness, which many confuse as that of being too self-confident when in fact it is just a product of *low* self-confidence.

    Self-confident people are comfortable with themselves, they know who they are, they value their strengths, understand their weakness and view themselves as worthy and competent people.
    Being comfortable in your own skin is a real gift. And it seems to me to be a rare gift. However one of the nicest things is to be around someone who is comfortable in their own skin. I dunno why - its just relaxing and enlivening, all at the same time.

  4. #4
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Hi Anti-Social One,

    You are lucky because empathy can be taught. All you need is a good teacher and practice.

    Victor.

  5. #5
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    If a person has so much self-confidence that they develop an unrealistic picture of themselves, then that would be "too much". If the self-concept is realistic then that will prove to be a benefit to you in getting the most out of life. Unrealistic self-images whether good or bad are distortions in thinking which will make themselves clear when reality proves them wrong. It makes for a peaceless, conflict based life to see ourselves as someone we are not.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Too much self confidence is subjective. It all seems dependent on an individual's point of view.

  7. #7
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minako-bot View Post
    Too much self confidence is subjective. It all seems dependent on an individual's point of view.
    I agree. I was going to say, "More self-confidence than I have."
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  8. #8
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    I think that a high level of self-confidence might blind one to the nuances of his or her environment.

    People always say "confidence is not cockiness" but I am tired of hearing that, because then what is confidence?

    Being proud? Being sure? Being determined? Committed? Unrelenting? Direct?

    Rather than self-confidence.. which implies it being present before one takes in their surroundings.. sensitivity to those surroundings would prove to be more beneficial. All environments are different and must be treated as such..

    With a neutral definition of self-confidence--believing in oneself--then it is surely a good thing. But believing in one self so much? Doubt is very healthy.. We get it from our primate ancestors.. Should I jump in this tree? No.. that gorilla might attack me. Ah.. alright. I will go to this tree instead.

    Just throwing some thoughts out there. Mostly devil's advocate, but I think there's some truth in there.

  9. #9
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I don't think you need to hide your confidence...you just need to bring it into another area of your life. When we're very confident in one area, we tend to really rely on that area to carry us through. The social realm is much different from the intellectual one. There will be many times that you won't feel confident, b/c you don't have as much experience. Resist the urge to employ the same techniques--no one likes to be argued down in a friendly conversation. It sounds like you might have a problem coming off as too intense, since it's pretty well all-or-nothing in terms of your interactions with people. Do you know how to make small talk, etc?
    Something Witty

  10. #10
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    You have too much confidence when your belief in your abilities extends beyond your actual abilities.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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