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  1. #11
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana View Post
    I think that a high level of self-confidence might blind one to the nuances of his or her environment.

    People always say "confidence is not cockiness" but I am tired of hearing that, because then what is confidence?

    Being proud? Being sure? Being determined? Committed? Unrelenting? Direct?

    Rather than self-confidence.. which implies it being present before one takes in their surroundings.. sensitivity to those surroundings would prove to be more beneficial. All environments are different and must be treated as such..

    With a neutral definition of self-confidence--believing in oneself--then it is surely a good thing. But believing in one self so much? Doubt is very healthy.. We get it from our primate ancestors.. Should I jump in this tree? No.. that gorilla might attack me. Ah.. alright. I will go to this tree instead.

    Just throwing some thoughts out there. Mostly devil's advocate, but I think there's some truth in there.
    This is what I wanted to hear.

    My self confidance is not classical one.
    (At least if you take stereotype of self confidant people).

    For me it is conviction that after a long analysis I will reach right conclusin.
    I doubt myself a lot and I am always searching for better way.
    Because I doubt a lot I prevent problem from even happening.
    I think that I doubt myself more then most people and this thread is my strongest proof for now.

    If you ask me, this is the only way to be self confidet and have something to show behind it. From few examples I know that as soon you stop to doubt you are fuc*** up if your self confidance is this high.

  2. #12
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Ah.. now I like that. Self-confident because you have a system of analysis to back it up.

    Cheers to you, antisocial one.

  3. #13
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    It sounds like you might have a problem coming off as too intense, since it's pretty well all-or-nothing in terms of your interactions with people. Do you know how to make small talk, etc?
    Too intense whitin minimal time.
    But if I don't do it you will get just silence from me which is likely in most cases.


    I know for smaltalk trick,but to find a good topic is much larger problem.
    And if I do smalltalk it is usually because I really have to.

  4. #14
    Senior Member SillyGoose's Avatar
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    Too much self-confidence? When they think their shit doesn't stink.
    "My mom told me there was a weirdo on every bus, but I never could find him." Emo Phillips

  5. #15
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Think about it this way. Anyone who is concerned enough to ask other people if they appear too confident probably isn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one
    This is what I wanted to hear.

    My self confidance is not classical one.
    (At least if you take stereotype of self confidant people).

    For me it is conviction that after a long analysis I will reach right conclusin.
    I doubt myself a lot and I am always searching for better way.
    Because I doubt a lot I prevent problem from even happening.
    I think that I doubt myself more then most people and this thread is my strongest proof for now.

    If you ask me, this is the only way to be self confidet and have something to show behind it. From few examples I know that as soon you stop to doubt you are fuc*** up if your self confidance is this high.
    Most of what you put is probably motivated/created by fear. We contingency plan massively because we are afraid of not being prepared enough when the time comes. It's the same reason why we tend to not take action. Because of this, we are always prepared when the time is forced upon us, which makes us be/appear confident. Just be sure that you don't mistake confident for competent. Real confidence isn't taking action only when you're forced to.

    Are you really confident in yourself? Or are you confident in your ability to make yourself prepared?
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  6. #16
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    No such thing as too much self-confidence. Now, believing yourself to be indestructable, that can be dangerous, but that's different than being confident.
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  7. #17
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Think about it this way. Anyone who is concerned enough to ask other people if they appear too confident probably isn't.



    Most of what you put is probably motivated/created by fear. We contingency plan massively because we are afraid of not being prepared enough when the time comes. It's the same reason why we tend to not take action. Because of this, we are always prepared when the time is forced upon us, which makes us be/appear confident. Just be sure that you don't mistake confident for competent. Real confidence isn't taking action only when you're forced to.

    Are you really confident in yourself? Or are you confident in your ability to make yourself prepared?
    I very much agree with this.

    Confidence comes from experience. Lots of it. You look at your elders.. they are confident because they have been through it all for decades, and it's in their bones to do the most efficient/beneficial/right thing.

  8. #18
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Think about it this way. Anyone who is concerned enough to ask other people if they appear too confident probably isn't.



    Most of what you put is probably motivated/created by fear. We contingency plan massively because we are afraid of not being prepared enough when the time comes. It's the same reason why we tend to not take action. Because of this, we are always prepared when the time is forced upon us, which makes us be/appear confident. Just be sure that you don't mistake confident for competent. Real confidence isn't taking action only when you're forced to.

    Are you really confident in yourself? Or are you confident in your ability to make yourself prepared?
    I am aware that this thread is a paradox.

    I am more self confident then most people and I personaly don't have problem whit that I am just aware that I have impact on people.


    Also don't overlook the fact that I am self confident but I am not the most self confident person on the planet. Nither I would want to become.

    As being forced I don't think it is true what you are saying because nobody is forcing me to become by far the most educated person in entire familiy history. Actually they are not too happy because they think that entire process would take too long.

    As for your last question my answer would be: both.

  9. #19
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I am aware that this thread is a paradox.

    I am more self confident then most people and I personaly don't have problem whit that I am just aware that I have impact on people.


    Also don't overlook the fact that I am self confident but I am not the most self confident person on the planet. Nither I would want to become.

    As being forced I don't think it is true what you are saying because nobody is forcing me to become by far the most educated person in entire familiy history. Actually they are not too happy because they think that entire process would take too long.

    As for your last question my answer would be: both.
    Obviously, I don't know you in real life so my intention wasn't to insult you or something like that. I was mostly talking from personal experience. Very rarely are people genuinely worried about being too confident. They're worried about being cocky or intimidating. Personally, I am the most intimidating when I'm not comfortable around people (excluding when I'm doing it on purpose) and from your original post it seemed to me like your problem wasn't overconfidence it was overpowering/intimidating people. When you are with your best friends, do you behave like you explained in your original post most of the time, or are you more outgoing and friendly (not talking about family)?

    My comment about being forced was mostly about social situations. Education is great but its still a means to an end (preparation).

    Basically, I disagree with your comment that you need to cover your confidence in order to do well socially. In my opinion, the reason why you come across as negative to people is because your confidence is professionally/informationally based and not socially, so the only time you talk is to correct someone when you are sure you have the right info. Your social confidence is low, which is why you don't make small talk. So don't cover your confidence, expand it.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #20
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Basically, I disagree with your comment that you need to cover your confidence in order to do well socially. In my opinion, the reason why you come across as negative to people is because your confidence is professionally/informationally based and not socially, so the only time you talk is to correct someone when you are sure you have the right info. Your social confidence is low, which is why you don't make small talk. So don't cover your confidence, expand it.
    This is what I'm thinking, too, but he said it better.
    Something Witty

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