This is for all of you young whippersnappers who are just starting out, mostly. Not that you'll listen to any of this if you're anything like me (I was DETERMINED to figure everything out on my own and make my own mistakes... probably shouldn't have done that!), but this at least gives me a reason to smirk and say "see? I told you so!" whenever applicable
I started out with quite a bit of potential when I graduated high school and proceeded to undermine that for at least the next decade. I'm approaching 30 rather rapidly now and have finally come to realize a few points that really would have made my life A LOT easier
you can't do everything alone
this one is probably the toughest thing I've had to learn... I NEED to prove that I'm self-sufficient on some very basic level and have always felt like a failure if I needed the assistance or advice of others. I should be smart enough to solve ALL of the problems, dammit!
However, this is not true no matter HOW intelligent you are. There's a lot of stuff in life that you haven't had to encounter yet and don't even have a basis upon which to judge it. What do you do if you've just gotten into a car accident? What if you're arrested? How do I deal when I get my heart broken the first time or am betrayed by a friend? When do I realize that I actually have a problem and need help?
Parents usually don't go over the negatives of those sorts, and schools don't offer classes on it. Your best bet is to ask someone who's been there before and LISTEN when they give you advice. This isn't easy to do... especially when it's advice that you don't want to hear. You'll think "pfft... I can come up with a better solution than that!" And that's usually about the point where your brilliant idea just digs the hole deeper because, like I said, this is all new and uncharted territory!
I'm not saying that anyone on here is stupid (unless I've informed you of such personally, in which case yeah, I meant it!), but I AM saying that some situations are really tough if you haven't dealt with them before. Don't be afraid to ask for advice... it doesn't make you a failure, it makes you smart. Believe me there, I tried the other way
there are some people who you just shouldn't tell to fuck off... even if they have it coming
it may just be me here, since I'm a bad tempered person, but some people just deserve to be told to fuck off. I have told many people where to put it over the years and as immensely satisfying as it can be in the short run, it often comes back to bite you in the ass.
the following are best left alone:
- police officers... even asshole police officers... they can make your life significantly less fun if you mouth off during an encounter (like removing your extra piercings with pliers "because they're against jail policy")
- your boss... even if you're quitting don't tell your boss to fuck off, you may need them for a reference in the future, or worse yet, they may put the word out to other HR departments that you aren't worth hiring
- coworkers... because they're supposed to be the ones who have your back every day and you'll be amazed at how unpleasant things can get without that!
- your landlord... you'll be amazed at how nit picky they can become once they've taken a hatred to you... they can be truly terrible people!
- your parents, unless they are genuinely terrible people (i.e. meth producers or murderers or abusive assholes).. you'll come to regret it later
- your roommate... they will become creative in their manners of making you miserable... and they may really enjoy it
there's probably more, but I need more caffeine
figure out how you're going to pay your bills... and then do it
getting money of your own is awesome... you can spend it on some high quality beer instead of the swill that your friends are drinking, or a new computer or perhaps a car! Unfortunately, there are more mundane concerns that you need to take into account as well which will cut into your fun budget. I may be special because the mundane things took a back seat in quite a few years of my life until they turned into a crisis situation, but I'm probably not the only idiot out there!
It is not fun to wake up to no electricity... I learned this one the hard way when mine was shut off. It wasn't that I didn't have the money... it was that electricity didn't really cross my mind as something that I'd be paying for... I hadn't up until that point! I was lucky in that I had some money owed to me that covered the cost of having it turned back on, but if I hadn't, I would have been screwed for a week until I got paid again... and I'd have needed to buy more food.
Moral to this story? Mundane is necessary... even if it's boring
and that concludes part 1 of life's mini-lessons, learned the hard way!