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  1. #1
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Default how not to fuck up your stupid life

    This is for all of you young whippersnappers who are just starting out, mostly. Not that you'll listen to any of this if you're anything like me (I was DETERMINED to figure everything out on my own and make my own mistakes... probably shouldn't have done that!), but this at least gives me a reason to smirk and say "see? I told you so!" whenever applicable

    I started out with quite a bit of potential when I graduated high school and proceeded to undermine that for at least the next decade. I'm approaching 30 rather rapidly now and have finally come to realize a few points that really would have made my life A LOT easier

    you can't do everything alone

    this one is probably the toughest thing I've had to learn... I NEED to prove that I'm self-sufficient on some very basic level and have always felt like a failure if I needed the assistance or advice of others. I should be smart enough to solve ALL of the problems, dammit!

    However, this is not true no matter HOW intelligent you are. There's a lot of stuff in life that you haven't had to encounter yet and don't even have a basis upon which to judge it. What do you do if you've just gotten into a car accident? What if you're arrested? How do I deal when I get my heart broken the first time or am betrayed by a friend? When do I realize that I actually have a problem and need help?

    Parents usually don't go over the negatives of those sorts, and schools don't offer classes on it. Your best bet is to ask someone who's been there before and LISTEN when they give you advice. This isn't easy to do... especially when it's advice that you don't want to hear. You'll think "pfft... I can come up with a better solution than that!" And that's usually about the point where your brilliant idea just digs the hole deeper because, like I said, this is all new and uncharted territory!

    I'm not saying that anyone on here is stupid (unless I've informed you of such personally, in which case yeah, I meant it!), but I AM saying that some situations are really tough if you haven't dealt with them before. Don't be afraid to ask for advice... it doesn't make you a failure, it makes you smart. Believe me there, I tried the other way

    there are some people who you just shouldn't tell to fuck off... even if they have it coming

    it may just be me here, since I'm a bad tempered person, but some people just deserve to be told to fuck off. I have told many people where to put it over the years and as immensely satisfying as it can be in the short run, it often comes back to bite you in the ass.

    the following are best left alone:
    - police officers... even asshole police officers... they can make your life significantly less fun if you mouth off during an encounter (like removing your extra piercings with pliers "because they're against jail policy")
    - your boss... even if you're quitting don't tell your boss to fuck off, you may need them for a reference in the future, or worse yet, they may put the word out to other HR departments that you aren't worth hiring
    - coworkers... because they're supposed to be the ones who have your back every day and you'll be amazed at how unpleasant things can get without that!
    - your landlord... you'll be amazed at how nit picky they can become once they've taken a hatred to you... they can be truly terrible people!
    - your parents, unless they are genuinely terrible people (i.e. meth producers or murderers or abusive assholes).. you'll come to regret it later
    - your roommate... they will become creative in their manners of making you miserable... and they may really enjoy it

    there's probably more, but I need more caffeine

    figure out how you're going to pay your bills... and then do it

    getting money of your own is awesome... you can spend it on some high quality beer instead of the swill that your friends are drinking, or a new computer or perhaps a car! Unfortunately, there are more mundane concerns that you need to take into account as well which will cut into your fun budget. I may be special because the mundane things took a back seat in quite a few years of my life until they turned into a crisis situation, but I'm probably not the only idiot out there!

    It is not fun to wake up to no electricity... I learned this one the hard way when mine was shut off. It wasn't that I didn't have the money... it was that electricity didn't really cross my mind as something that I'd be paying for... I hadn't up until that point! I was lucky in that I had some money owed to me that covered the cost of having it turned back on, but if I hadn't, I would have been screwed for a week until I got paid again... and I'd have needed to buy more food.

    Moral to this story? Mundane is necessary... even if it's boring

    and that concludes part 1 of life's mini-lessons, learned the hard way!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #2
    Insert witty line here... Ponyboy's Avatar
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    You were right about 2 things....
    1. No one will listen.
    2. Everything else. That was pretty much spot on advice!!
    I'm never wrong, I'm just sometimes less right

  3. #3
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post

    there are some people who you just shouldn't tell to fuck off... even if they have it coming
    Oh man this ones hard for me, I find myself snapping and going fuck off to people I shouldn't. I don't have much of a filter+poor impulse control=disaster in certain situations
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponyboy View Post
    You were right about 2 things....
    1. No one will listen.
    2. Everything else. That was pretty much spot on advice!!
    thanks!

    my thoughts were that it's more likely that someone who's been through everything would read and nod in agreement than some young thing read it and think "ooh! maybe I SHOULD ask someone else for advice or something!"... but hey, there's an outside chance... and if anyone does it makes some of my years of fucking up more useful

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    Oh man this ones hard for me, I find myself snapping and going fuck off to people I shouldn't. I don't have much of a filter+poor impulse control=disaster in certain situations
    that's when you go home and draw stick figures of them falling into volcanoes afterwords

    just because it feels like love doesn't mean that it's going to work out

    my on again/off again guy in college was great... he was smart, attractive, kind, driven and would do anything for me. we both adored each other and were incredibly comfortable in each others' presence and I would have LOVED to have spent the rest of my life with him. There was, however, one major hangup... he really, really wanted kids and several of them and I just don't. I knew that I couldn't give him the thing he wanted the most and he knew that if he got what he wanted I would be miserable, so we broke up.

    I was pretty devastated by that, and he was rather upset as well... we both knew that it was for the best, but it hurt. Just because two people adore one another doesn't mean that being together will make them happy in the long run... the love may be there, but if they want very different things it will only lead to misery. It's one of those cases where if you love someone you let them go and find happiness.

    I really didn't think that I would have an opportunity like that again... someone who gave me that feeling of being adored. I was stupid though... there are a lot of people out there and there are other people who will adore you for who you are... some of them even have compatible desires. I found one of them eventually and we've been living a happy life with several pets and no children for a good while now

    So yeah, it's a hard lesson to learn- especially when pop culture tells us that there's one special person out there for us. There are other people out there even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. You deserve someone who can give you what you want and vice versa.

    Knowing all of this doesn't make the breakup any easier, but it does give some hope, which makes things much more tolerable
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    I read all of it.

    It's good advice, I will remember it.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  6. #6
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    you can't do everything alone
    That is the one thing I've learned the previous year and this year. What took you so long in giving this advice when I could of used it 6 years ago.

    there are some people who you just shouldn't tell to fuck off... even if they have it coming
    This part, I already know. Though there still needs to be some fine tuning.

    figure out how you're going to pay your bills... and then do it
    This part I'll learn sooner or later, but once I get to this part, I'll know. It has been drilled into me about want versus need. (If I ask myself if electricity is a want or a need, it is a need. If I asked myself is a new toy computer is a want or a need, it is a want... unless it is part of work.)

  7. #7
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    whatever, it seems to me that your life has been a little bit "wild", rather than other people needing those reccomandations...i mean, not paying electricity and telling your boss to fuck off? :S
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #8
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    not paying electricity and telling your boss to fuck off? :S
    These things are totally like at the other end of the ENTJ comfort zone


    Anyway @whatever -- great advice!
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  9. #9
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    good advice, though i don't think it would help much.. generally people who have trouble with any of the 3 don't have them because they don't know this, they have them because they aren't thinking of this when it matters the most.

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    There is a fourth for those who can read...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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