Lately it seems I've come across a lot of people who don't tell others to fuck off when they should.
hmmm... never seemed to have that problem! maybe you should make a list of people who deserve TO be told to fuck off!
learn to be able to tell when you're unhappy
this one never seemed to be something that I should have had to have learned... it should be obvious, right? if things are going right... if I'm doing well at my job and in a steady relationship why SHOULDN'T I be happy? Why look at things any closer?
Sometimes life can just get stuck in one gear and you leave it there because it's gotten comfortable, like a good, worn in pair of jeans. It seems like things should continue to go well since they have so far so you don't think any more about it. Sometimes that shit'll wear you down. Or sometimes the jeans gradually get too tight...
This is one of those cases where listening to feedback from others can sometimes be helpful. Remember that example about the frog in the slowly heated beaker of water... how he doesn't realize that it's killing him until he's dead because the change is gradual and the water was fine at first? You can easily become that frog if you don't pay attention.
Probably the best piece of advice I've ever received from a member of this forum happened last year... I'd thought that I was happy- after all, I had a job and was doing well and I was in a relationship that I'd wanted. I was happy, right? Another member pointed out to me that, having gotten to know me over the years and knowing my situation, I wasn't happy. I tried to argue, but I couldn't come up with any good arguments against that. That person was correct, it turns out.
I couldn't tell that things had devolved over time because they'd happened so gradually. It's hard to tell when you are the frog, but easier when you're the one watching.
that leads into...
you don't owe it to anybody but yourself to be happy
Sure, other people have helped you get where you are in life... after all, it takes a village to raise a child. Sure you might have gotten some opportunities to do some things that other people would be incredibly jealous of... good for you! Does this mean that you have to live up to every expectation of those who helped you out along the way though? Hell no!
If someone has helped you out, they probably did it because they wanted to do so... they wanted to make you happy and let you figure out what you want to do in life. This means that they will love you no matter what you choose to become (within reason... I'm not saying that they should love you if you become a cannibalistic serial killer... that would be a bit over the top!). They are interested in you being happy. If they DO have strings attached they can go and fuck themselves- it's not their lives to call the shots in.
Don't end up trapped in a situation that makes you unhappy just because it's what has always been expected of you. If it makes you unhappy, it's not worth it. Yes, you may feel guilty, like you're letting people down because you SHOULD be happy with the advantages that you've been given, but if they were given for the right reason, those who gave them would rather you be happy than unhappy.
To put it bluntly, it's your fucking life... how you live it, for the most part, is based on your decisions. You are the person who should know best what you want to do and you are the person who has the most personal interest in whether or not you are happy. You deserve the opportunity to be happy just as much as anyone else does, so why not go for it?
In other words, don't get caught up in what everyone else hopes that you would be just because they gave you something. You're the one living your life and it's up to you to make the decisions as to how. You owe it to yourself
Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom? -Terry Pratchett
I know what you were saying... sorry, sometimes my asshole tendencies take over... especially when there's an opportunity for a bad joke...
I know what you're saying there though- sometimes things just creep up on you
yeah I'm geting the alzheimers its bad how hard i have to focus sometimes to get word order right these days, like it comes out all scrambled not all the time but more often than it use to. and i guess it's a good sign i'm aware its happening, but spoken word is harder.