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  1. #1
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Default Reinventing Oneself

    Have you ever reinvented yourself or had a strong urge to do so? This would include changing jobs, location, friends, appearance, outlook on life, a sense of the nature of reality, how you relate to other people, etc? This thread can include absolutely anything that you consider a re-invention of self.

    I periodically have a deep urge to do this and have a couple of times in the past. That feeling is building inside me again, so we will see where it leads. I'll post more specifics about how I relate to this and how people close to me have also reinvented their lives.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.
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  2. #2
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Sometimes I ask what days are for, though don't usually have isolated urges. There's a time and place for everything.

    thinking of you

  3. #3
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Have you ever reinvented yourself or had a strong urge to do so? This would include changing jobs, location, friends, appearance, outlook on life, a sense of the nature of reality, how you relate to other people, etc? This thread can include absolutely anything that you consider a re-invention of self.

    I periodically have a deep urge to do this and have a couple of times in the past. That feeling is building inside me again, so we will see where it leads. I'll post more specifics about how I relate to this and how people close to me have also reinvented their lives.
    Jobs and relocation, yes. No to most everything else. I guess I've tweaked my outlook on life from time to time but can't say I radically changed it. I've had urges and fantasies to have a completely different career or life in a completely different place. I have changed careers and residence a few time but even that wasn't drastic. I've lived in Minnesota all my life, just in different places. I went from teaching science to being a librarian but even those careers have similarities- educating others. So I have made some changes now and then but I can't say I've ever completely reinvented myself. I'd find that hard to implement in real life .
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  4. #4
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Have you ever reinvented yourself or had a strong urge to do so? This would include changing jobs, location, friends, appearance, outlook on life, a sense of the nature of reality, how you relate to other people, etc? This thread can include absolutely anything that you consider a re-invention of self.

    I periodically have a deep urge to do this and have a couple of times in the past. That feeling is building inside me again, so we will see where it leads. I'll post more specifics about how I relate to this and how people close to me have also reinvented their lives.
    I think a point in time in the future, I'll be moving to the East for a job (most likely Virginia.) I don't think I'll be moving there anytime soon though, it'll probably occur, at maximum, 6-8 (maybe it'll end up being 12 before I am there full-time) years from now. I even have timelines for what I'll be doing before then. With that said, there aren't any hard dates to it, just estimates. Once I graduate, things will more than likely go in motion.

    If it isn't reinventing myself, I don't know what is. That is because I've lived in this city my whole life. Most every person I know live in California, so it is a big deal when I think I'll be moving to the opposite side of the continent when everyone is here. In fact, I am the baby of the family, the mere notion of me being alone on the other side of the country might sound frightening for some (My brother-in-law's family do live about 1-2 hour drive from where I may end up settling though; They live in North Carolina.)

    I can technically stay here with the degree I get, but there is bigger fish that I want to get that can only be realized over there. I'd probably feel so unnatural there though. The weather I live in is Csa while the county in Virginia I hope to live in is Cfa, hot + dry summers and mild wet winters versus hot + humid summers and mild winters. Typical Southern climate

    Other than that I have had fantasies of moving to other countries, but those are just fantasies. I can take that route also because my job CAN entitle me to work overseas if I need be.

    Other than that, who knew trying to move far away requires this much planning on my behalf, but it is all for the better in the end.

  5. #5
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    Short term, I take on whatever identity/mindset helps me achieve whatever. It's the whole "visualization" thing. That makes me feel kinda like a five-year-old who's all "I'm a spaceman! Now I'm a fireman!!"

    Long term, I suppose I settled into one, with deviations from time to time. I do have a tendency to look to the past and tell myself--"that's not me."

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    I'm currently trying to live a more healthy lifestyle, working out and such, and I'm looking to make new friends who share these goals as I tend to make similar sorts of nonactive, nerdy friends wherever I go. I'm trying to extravert more and wearing different clothes. I want to be part of a different crowd, now. I don't intend to forget my friends, just to expand my social circle.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  7. #7
    Senior Member zago's Avatar
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    There's a right way and a wrong way:

    Wrong way: Coming up with a plan and trying to carry it out. This is doomed to fail because the future self you plan to become was actually cooked up by the old consciousness. In other words "easier said than done." Yes, it is very easy to talk about some fabulous future-you. Then comes the part where you actually have to put in the work to make it happen and in a month you realize, "this sucks" and "I'm still the exact same person just trying to appear different." Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

    Right way: getting out of the way of time, allowing changes (however scary) to happen instead of trying to fight them. Ceasing to do that which has gotten old. Believe it or not, a lot of people can't cope with this notion at all.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Absolutely.

    When I was young, and had less freedom that way, it was changing my haircolor (sounds silly, but I wanted to feel a certain way, and express a certain thing, which changing the color of my hair helped me to do).

    At 15/16, I thought that finding The Truth was The Most Important Thing Evar, which, to my mind, meant effectively becoming a hermit and spending all day long reading philosophy and science books. I only left my house to go to school. For a few years. (Now I'm dealing with all the ill-effects this particularly "self-invention" of mine created for me. )

    I periodically get that familiar urge to be or do something drastically different, but mostly as a reaction to how constrained and powerless I feel by/in my current reality (and sometimes reality in general). I do have this bad habit [?] of considering absolutely everything I say, do, feel, think, desire, create, etc., to be ME, so really, something "drastically different"--something that shakes, shifts, and resettles my very self-concept in my mind--to me, could be barely noticeable to someone else.

    I'm not sure what'll be my next "incarnation," but I feel the need for a new one coming on.

  9. #9
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    I wouldn't say I've reinvented myself, but I have slowly changed over time. "Reinventing myself" sounds like a deliberate action, whereas I would say I've molded to situations as they have arisen and my outlook on life, world views, etc. have incrementally changed along the way.

    That's not to say I haven't made any deliberate actions. I quit my job a couple years ago after finally having had enough of the place. I took almost a year off to reconsider where I was going, what I really wanted out of life, etc. and didn't really come to any conclusions, which was probably the worst thing that could have happen.

    In retrospect I was deeply depressed, and I had been sliding further and further into it for years. I felt no sense of purpose, very little sense of worth, very little sense of 'being', and eventually I bottomed out... oh, about eight months ago. I'm not sure exactly what brought me back up, what the catalyst was I mean, but I slowly came around. I think it was a combination of a lot of things. I had a few people in my life who stuck around even though I was becoming worse to be around, and that helped. It helped me realize that... well... not so much that people 'cared' but that some people didn't care that I had become a big sad-sack, grumpy bump-on-a-log. It didn't really bother them, or at least they didn't let it show. I was still worth being around or talking to, if only sometimes.

    I wouldn't say I'm perfectly content now by any means but the most important thing I've done to effect change is to let things go.

    I don't know if that qualifies as a 'reinvention', but it feels like one. Changing my appearance feels irrelevant by comparison.


    This probably isn't what you were looking for, but too bad!

  10. #10
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    I've complained about this before, and I'm doing it again

    I have two engineering degrees. Loads of people around here are engineers--and "he's an engineer" portrays a certain shoe-gazing, overanalyzing, hypercritical, people-hating stereotype. I'll be honest--I want to be able to point to that and say that it is explicitly "not me." I work in psychological research, which is a much more natural fit for me. So, I eschew the label and rarely bring up my background.

    When the girl introduces me as an engineer, I slug her in the arm. When she (not an engineer) says anything that's remotely analytical, I tell her that she's "such an engineer," because, y'know, stereotypes.

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