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  1. #51
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?
    I've never had a stable self-image in regards to my looks. Since my twenties i've had a sense of being pleasant looking, but not a sense of being sexually provocative in my appearance. As a teen i could occasionally pull off feeling pretty like a flower. I had long eyelashes, but quite the skinny stem.

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive?I struggled with this as i entered puberty. It was severe and some type of image dimorphism. I would get overwhelmed feeling really hideous and couldn't stand being in my own skin. I had moments of zero self-esteem where i felt like i had no worth and merely took up space.

    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?
    I was never terribly voluptuous, and as a adolescent i thought that no guy would ever want to see my body. I figured i would always be alone. It wasn't rational as i was cute, just a little skinny, but still cute.

    How important are looks?
    Society does seem to make a lot of snap judgements based on looks. I think though, the appearance of having money makes up for ugly features in that regard.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?I think it is fundamentally important to feel physically attractive, but in a simpler deeper way than the media presents. We should feel comfortable in our own skin and be able to feel like our physical affection will feel really good to the person we love. I've come a long way from the distorted perceptions of my past, but it wasn't comparing myself to others or trying to match the media's ideal that helped. It was just taking time to enjoy existing in my own body. It helps to just enjoy the warm sun on your skin, or savor a good chocolate chip cookie, the drink in a kiss, and to feel the cool breeze of the air when you run. It also helps to have someone *see* you and appreciate unique qualities about you. You don't have to look like an ideal if someone you love thinks your profile has a beautiful line, or that you have soft hair, pretty hands, or a well set belly button. It isn't necessary for a person to possess every ideal feature, but it is important to really *own* what is beautiful and unique about ourself. I'm still growing in this direction.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #52
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    I don't understand why you think I say you should care.... I admire people who can get past the superficial. But the simple ability to have jobs and relationships is not material. Truth is, attractiveness does affect both relationships and job prospects. It was interesting to me that people say looks don't matter to them when it matters a lot to people generally. MBTIc attracts some different people perhaps. So who are these people to who interpret information based on looks?
    I'm curious why you are more skeptical of the validity of the opinions of this thread than the conclusions of your articles.
    I don't think controlled experiments regarding human decision making are very good predictors of real-world behavior.
    I don't wanna!

  3. #53
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I'm curious why you are more skeptical of the validity of the opinions of this thread than the conclusions of your articles.
    They are not my articles. Nor do I question the validity of people's responses. I questioned the disparity. That could be based on number of factors that take into account people's valid views, which leads into...
    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I don't think controlled experiments regarding human decision making are very good predictors of real-world behavior.
    Ahhh...Fair point. That would explain the difference in controlled experiments. Why do you think they are poor predictors? But the research is not just controlled experiments. How do you account for researchers' findings that looks do make a difference, for example in earning?
    The first link discussed a control experiment to determine why
    "Research shows that good-looking people tend to earn more, get better jobs, and even get better grades in school than their plainer counterparts."
    The second link:
    “We see in medical interactions, patients who go to physicians ,and those of higher physical attractiveness, the physicians will spend more time with that person and will also spend more time answering individual questions that that person asked,” says Dr. Patzer.

    And this special treatment starts very early on.

    “For example, in a nursery, before newborn babies are released from a hospital, those babies who are higher in physical attractiveness, at this level defined as more cute , are touched more, held more and spoken to more,” says Dr. Patzer, who notes the trend continues in school.
    BBC News | UK | Tall men and slim women 'earn more'
    Summary:
    Plain men earn 15% less
    Plain women earn 11% less
    Tall men earn 5% more than average men and 10% more than short men
    Fat women earn 5% less
    Short women are penalised 5% on average.
    Do you think the studies exaggerate people's superficiality?

  4. #54

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    I have always felt average in regards to appearance. It seems I don't get responses from folks either way or if I do I don't notice.

    For everybody:


    How important are looks?

    For a romantic relationship I think it is important for both parties to feel attracted to each other. Other than that who cares?


    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?

    I think folks should feel good about themselves and their bodies. Screw what everybody else thinks. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way.
    Happy colored marbles that are rolling in my head..." - Ween

  5. #55
    Senior Member WobblyStilettos's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive?
    I can't remember ever thinking I was attractive, I hate pretty much every aspect of my appearance
    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?
    My figure is huge and I have a big nose and a big forehead and low eyebrows and a square chin and no cheekbones and elephant legs and big feet and too-long fingers and a big belly and... etc.
    How important are looks?
    More important than they should be
    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    It helps with confidence loads, so its fairly important
    Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

  6. #56
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?

    i find elegance in function attractive... the human body is certainly that, and i consider myself able-bodied, so im satisfied with my physical self.

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?

    i think im well put together, i dont care whether it's ascetically pleasing as long as it performs well.

    How important are looks?

    whether most people want to admit it or not, it seems many of them project a lot about someone based on appearances. this isn't necessarily good or bad, just something to be considered and possibly used to each persons' advantage.

    so all in all, i wouldnt say appearance is important, but rather it is important to understand the impact appearance often makes on people.

  7. #57

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    so all in all, i wouldnt say appearance is important, but rather it is important to understand the impact appearance often makes on people.
    good point
    Happy colored marbles that are rolling in my head..." - Ween

  8. #58
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    For those that do:

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?
    I've thought that i'm kind of attractive most of my life, with the exception for a few times. Got some weird insect bite in spain and had a bigass wound on my cheek for a couple of weeks

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?
    Face: stands out in a crowd, and it is fairly symmetrical and I have great skin, good hair quality and kinda ok eyes.
    I don't like my legs, though. I've been working with physically tough jobs my entire time after school and they are too big to be aesthetically pleasing. But hey, at least i'm strong.

    ...

    For everybody:


    How important are looks?
    Looks are strange. Physical looks alone doesn't do the trick. It's the glow of a person, how good a smile lights up their face and things like that wich will make a great first impression. For me at least. I place great weight in looking at eyes. They are supposed to be the mirror of the soul, and I take that to hold some water at least.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    It's damn important to do so, otherwise it will ruin a whole lot. A person that feels bad about him/herself doesn't often bring a good feeling with them, either. And someone that goes around feeling bad about their looks probably doesn't dare to throw away a shining smile at you.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  9. #59
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    How important are looks?
    Looks are strange. Physical looks alone doesn't do the trick. It's the glow of a person, how good a smile lights up their face and things like that wich will make a great first impression. For me at least. I place great weight in looking at eyes. They are supposed to be the mirror of the soul, and I take that to hold some water at least.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    It's damn important to do so, otherwise it will ruin a whole lot. A person that feels bad about him/herself doesn't often bring a good feeling with them, either. And someone that goes around feeling bad about their looks probably doesn't dare to throw away a shining smile at you.
    Happy to read this response and I totally agree!!!
    `
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  10. #60
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I grew up in a totally different environment than most of the folks responding to this thread. Physical appearance is incredibly important and plays a primary role in how people perceive you and you them and thus plays out in influential ways in life.

    In short, the only people who says that 'physical appearance doesn't matter' are

    1) Folks who accept they are outside mainstream standards of beauty and have either

    a) gracefully accepted it and focus on other areas
    b) flip off the establishment and revel in being different

    2) Folks who have never had to worry about their appearances because

    a) they are universally considered attractive and get daily benefits from look privelege
    b) were raised not to think about their looks because they focused almost entirely on
    something else like class privelege (which is even better than look privelege in
    some ways), intelligence, religion, just surviving, etc.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

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