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  1. #181
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Do you think you are physically attractive?
    That is a difficult question... I guess I have fairly good looks. I am so skinny that I'm afraid not many women find it attractive. If I had been pumping just little, then I would say I am more attractive than most men of my age, but, no.. (I can't get myself to do anything that is based only on me trying to be more attractive. I think it is sad... it would probably depress me more than help me)

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?
    Well, other than the fact I have no muscle in my body, I realized (after I shaved my long hair off some time ago) that I am losing hair, that was like the first time I have realized I am getting old. I wouldn't say it's a problem for me, I'd rather have a good posture than good hair. When I was younger I had an issue with zits, they seem to concentrate on my nose, its annoying, but I guess my testosterone levels are beginning to drop so it is less and less a problem. Well, when I was young I had all kinds of self-acceptance problems. I actually remember standing in front of a mirror and finding out for the first time that there isn't actually anything wrong with the way I look like Anyways, if I could get a free plastic surgery I would probably get rid of some moles but other than that I guess I'm just fine as I am.

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    How important are looks?
    The looks of other people matter only if talking about possible girlfriends, and even then they aren't as important as they are in the commercials. My own looks... I wouldn't want to be one-eyed or anything, but I can't be crying over loss of hair... You know, there's no option but to accept it. Besides, I think I am in many ways also looking better than ten years ago. I can't wait to get those white spots of hair on my temples to show how distinguished I am

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post
    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    I think it is important for my self-esteem right now that I don't consider myself ugly, but I guess the more important thing is that I don't see good looks as the most important issue.

  2. #182
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainChick View Post

    For those that don't:


    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive?

    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?
    Physically I do not on more than a general basis find myself attractive. This is at a complete contrast with how, from what I hear from others, I portray. I think its more of possibly a defense mechanism. I feel that physically im average looking, and as an ENFP this is unacceptable. So I, now subconsciously, give off an aura of confidence in myself and my looks. Rather its false or not I still give it off as a kind of buffer for my generally plain physical qualities.

    Partly cause im an ENFP a sense of authenticity must be found in my image. So I quickly got into the goth/metal head scene due to it not being normally accepted. As ive aged ive adapted these looks into a sort of personal image. I have the big nose ring, will be getting into tattoos very heavily soon now that I can afford them. And im growing my hair back out like it was in high school. But at the same time dress, on an average basis very respectable and clean cut. Its a bit of a contrast to my interests, but feel it gives me a good identity.

    Specifics I dont like about myself would include my complexion, my hair at its current shaggy length, my small frame and my lazy eye. Needless to say I despise the way I look in almost in photo, but still take them cause most people say I look fine in them so I just dont really care. My complexion will never really change its just one of those things im growing to accept about myself. My hair once its longer and I can put it up for a professional look will suit my tatse fine. My lazy eye will never change either, and my frame pisses me off. No matter how much I work out I will probably never bulk out, just get more and more cut. So I look great with out a shirt, with I look like a fucking stick...this obviously is my biggest issue and one that wont change.


    For everybody:


    How important are looks?

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    Looks are very important, but not just corporeal. An attitude/aura can define a persons looks. I feel that honing both are a must for self achievement, doing so will give you better outlook on life in general as well as the outlook people have towards you.

    Physical attraction is a must as well at least for me. Friends and I have actually been discussing this recently. We've come to the conclusion that the average man does not make friends or associate himself, unless forced to on a normal basis due to work or something, with females he is not physically attracted to. But this is completely differing to how women are, women dont have to be physically attracted right away. They will develop an attraction, not say men cant this way, over time by dealing with them and are normally first and for most attracted to personality. This with men can be extremely frustrating cause most guys, not knowing that women are a completely different species, think women atleast think along the same lines as us. Which causes many problems cause men will only voluntarily approach/associate with women hes physically attracted to. And when a women, by her own volition approaches a guy we immediately think shes attracted to us. This can thus cause many confusions and problems.

    Once again just an observation.

    Edit: sorry for the huge post...
    SDMF

  3. #183
    Senior Member oasispaw's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?

    i have my moments both ways, but i generally think i'm attractive. since i was in high school, before that i thought i looked weird. i think i have distinctive facial features and bone structure, i would consider my body average + booty.

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?

    i'm fine with my face and figure. i hate my stretch marks though.

    How important are looks?

    to me, looks are important in the romantic relationship context but outside of that, i'm not very concerned. i'm not sure if this is being specifically asked to the respondent or about the general public. i think looks can be important in society, but again, it depends on the situation and the people involved.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?

    i get sad when i feel horribly unattractive (tons of acne , significant weight gain, etc.). so my answer is: pretty important because my happiness is important.
    just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

  4. #184
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    For those that don't:

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive?

    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?


    I learnt to treat myself like an object.

    For everybody:

    How important are looks?

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?


    I think looks is irrelevant - I honestly think it has nothing to do with attractiveness. The way you present yourself, charisma and personality are the ones that represent you, with looks you're just a shell.

    Once you get to know a person, you start to like their looks no matter what it would be in paper, cause it mirrors their personalities.
    Last edited by tibby; 01-18-2009 at 08:29 AM.

  5. #185
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?

    At 41, I see myself as above average, ...but only because I take care of myself. Most guys my age have given up on themselves. That is just unacceptable to me.

    I can't pick one thing I find 'attractive'....but I'm happy with myself....I like the silver in my hair...and I have the classic Italian look ...and I appreciate that. I have very expressive eyes....or so I've been told.

    I take care of my body...in the gym daily....as a former athlete, I think that its important to work what you got


    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?

    See above. I work hard to stay in shape. I watch what I eat and I workout everyday. I can out run and out lift most guys in their 20's...and that shouldn't be the case..... but I work at it.

    How important are looks?

    In a romantic relationship, they are important to me. If a woman doesn't like herself enough to care for herself.....why should I expect she cares about me?

    I am VERY picky about looks in women... my closest friends can always pick the girl in the room I find attractive....and it isn't the classic, knock out beauty.

    I LOVE the big, almond brown eyes, dark hair, quiet girl......

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?

    Very important. If you don't believe in yourself...how can anyone else believe in you. Simple diet, exercise and hygiene......
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  6. #186
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Lately, not at all.

  7. #187
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    I used to think that I was reasonably OCM™. I look in the mirror a lot and reflect on my appearance (both literally and figuratively), and have difficulty finding any major physical flaws. I feel attracted to myself, too. But seeing how I lack social awareness, I can't speak for others, who seem to have better grasp on what is actually attractive and what is not, which is why I require feedback on the subject.

    As others help me uncover my flaws, I realize that there is much work to be done.

  8. #188
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    No, as in: I don't go out of the way towards of presenting myself in a physically attractive way. In fact, I don't even want to be physically attractive. Physically 'appropiate' is perfect.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #189
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?
    I guess since maybe sophomore or junior year of high school. I was a pretty awkward looking kid for a long time -- braces, glasses, and too interested in nerdy things to care. Finally my ENFP sister pretty much forced me to put more effort into my appearance. I'm not really sure what in particular I find attractive about myself... my eyes, I guess? I like my single dimple.

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?
    Sure -- though I'd like to be more fit.

    How important are looks?
    So - so. I realize that it's important to society as a whole, but for myself I don't much care. I've never dated/befriended people based on looks. I've found that for people I really like (romantically), they become more attractive to me over time, even if at first I wasn't super attracted to them. To be completely frank... I'm always a little wary of guys that are really attractive. More often than not, those looks come with an ego I can't handle. So I guess in that way... looks are a little bit involved in my decision making when it comes to picking a relationship. Just more in the opposite way than you would think.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    I have days I care, and days I don't. Most days I'm too lazy to dress myself up in order to feel really attractive. I really only do it if I need to feel really confident about something.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  10. #190
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    For those that do:

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?

    For those that don't:


    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive?

    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?

    For everybody:


    How important are looks?

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    Considering I fit a fair amt of the criteria of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, the answers to this are no doubt a tad more complicated than yes/no.

    I am rationally aware that some people find me attractive. I have accepted over the past 5yrs that, on an objective level, I am not some kind of monster. However, the cognitive wires are still tangled with some tightly knotted emotionally distorted perspectives. I have trouble looking at myself, in general. I experience varying degrees of shame and disgust. I never cared about being pretty, never wanted to be- it just didn't and doesn't feel important. I've only ever wanted to not feel that isolating shame- that something is inherently ''wrong'' with me. These things develop after years of abuse, sometimes. I believe that was the case with me. We all manifest trauma in different ways, and this is how part of that meshed with my developing mind. No photographs exist of me between the ages of 12 and 20.

    While the appearance of other people always looks the same, to me, my own reflection never looks consistent, visually, in my mind. It's seriously like some kind of funhouse mirror in my head. It's difficult to articulate exactly what my eyes are seeing, and explain how that's what my brain TELLS it to see. And as you can see, I am in a transitional state, presently. Working through it, ever forward. I have a long way to go, still, but I know where I'm headed. I try to push myself outside of my own comfort zones in little ways, like, allowing myself to enjoy taking silly pictures with me & my cat, and sharing them. I can't look at or think about them for too long, still, or I can sense impending anxiety creeping in. Getting better, though. Oh so slowly. I forget that, sometimes. I don't spend much time thinking about these things, not the way I once did- it doesn't prey on my mind, but more or less lays in wait.

    I feel the sense of guilt/shame most acutely when others make comments about my appearance. Compliments do precisely the opposite of making me feel good, in some ways. The cognitive dissonance creates mental fireworks of the live wires I'm in the process of repairing. My emotional reaction vs my rational understanding of where it comes from psychologically, people's benevolent intentions, & how much work I have left to do. If it's a particularly intimate or detailed discussion about positive aspects of my appearance, I end up feeling drained from fighting with myself, trying not to show it, and overall feeling like a messed up person. I try not to dwell on it. I try to avoid feeding it.

    It's rarely a specific bodypart or feature that I see as inherently 'bad'/'ugly'- it's the whole package deal. The shape of everthing just looks off, ''wrong.''

    I developed anorexia nervosa at around age 13-14. Resolved to fix my brain, alone, at about 18; my brother's sudden death at the time served as a harsh wakeup call to my own mortality. I 'recovered' around age 20- that is to say- I stopped allowing my distorted perspectives to dictate behaviors that negatively impacted my physical health. I'm still highly conscious of what I eat, but that's more force of habit than anything- being e5w6 I neurotically hoarded all scientific data about nutrition I could get my hands on, during my less healthy years. I'm on the low end of the healthy weight spectrum for people with my bodyframe/height, but I am healthy now. Mentally, it's still there. I'll never actually be ''thin'' in my mind, even if my eyes SEE pelvic bones and ribs up my back [which I saw kind of recently after dropping weight from medications I was on to fight off a severe infection; I gained my 'normal' weight back, after, despite my brain's protests]. I'd made a promise with myself to never get below a certain weight, and I've kept my word.

    Ironic thing is, for someone who can't stand being looked at, you'd think I'd hate being on a stage. But muscial theatre, acting, is my passion. I guess everything else disappears, though. I don't see anyone; my awareness of my own world, everyone around me, dissolves. I can build here. It's something that pushes me to grow past these psychological handicaps. I can leave them at the door, and freely exist in the now.

    This is a bit scattered. Far too long. but, you get the picture, yes? Messy rennovations ahead. Ever forward. And I'm looking forward to it. I thought sharing this information might prove potentially useful in some way or another if anyone else has similar issues. As I said, it can become quite isolating. Sometimes helps just to know you're not as alone as you may think.

    *one thing about my appearance I never had a problem with- my eye color. Hazel eyes remind me of cats.
    /crazy catladytalk.

    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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