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  1. #141
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive?

    always thought I was decent. I dunno always been in pretty good shape a little built for my size. Ive always had the little cute comments but thats prolly more to do with the fact ive always looked pretty young for my age


    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?
    yea maybe I could be a little bigger but figure wise im very happy. my dimples have always got little comments so I guess they're a good feature.


    How important are looks?

    basically just have to be confident with what you have never been one to compare or actually really even care. lol ive always basically payed the bare minimum amount of attention to my clothing and looks in general.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?

    I guess its important to not feel self conscious to smile or laugh, I think thats about it
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  2. #142
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    For those that do:

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically attractive and what is it about yourself that you find attractive? Its charisma, when its switched on I am intense and need very little words. It is in the way I view myself inward that reflects the way I view myself outward. Being physically appealing is fine but that is not what attracts a person, it is the spirit and fire that accompanies the person that is attractive. When its there I'm awesome, when its not I'm a bore.

    Do you like your figure, your face, etc.?
    Sometimes.

    For those that don't:

    How long have you thought yourself as being physically unattractive, and what is it about yourself that you find unattractive? Again its charisma, to live in a negative environment forces the self to feel unattractive and this translates to what you do, how much you are willing to shine and feel good about your physical appeal as much as your spirit. It is a premise that is good to let go.

    Do you have issues with your figure, your face, etc.?
    Its fine as it is. Although I could have sworn I have a few lumpy bits that look like horns, I always imagined they were a statement.

    For everybody:

    How important are looks?
    Looks are really only as appealing as the person that creates the world. You can have the prettiest girl or guy around but at the end of the day when they are shallow, a cliff will be preferable.

    How important is it to feel or not feel physically attractive?
    Its incredibly important to feel physically attractive. For shape is the defining characteristic of a person and when you let the media influence your insecurity into what is appealing then you forget the power of knowing what it means to feel attractive. Because that power has been taken away by other peoples ideas which aren't theirs to take but yours to own as it will be.

  3. #143
    Senior Member SensEye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    How important are looks?
    Looks are really only as appealing as the person that creates the world. You can have the prettiest girl or guy around but at the end of the day when they are shallow, a cliff will be preferable.
    I agree with this in general, but does it work the other way around? IE> Can you have ugliest guy or girl around but at the end of the day they are deep and fascinating, are you still interested? I would suspect most people would say a resounding NO (interested as a friend maybe, but not as a lover).

  4. #144
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I have never felt comfortable about the way I look. I don't think I'm awesome, but I also don't like being treated like I'm trash. I got ignored a lot when other girls were being hit up. My friends were all really attractive and assertive. I was a tomboy forever. One day, when I was 14, a male friend of mine slipped up behind me in class and bit the back of my neck. I turned, mouth hanging open, smacked him in the shoulder. "What the hell was that, you vampire?!" I stammered. (Then my ESFJ girlfriend jumped on him in my defense and dragged him down the hall in a kumite, and I was left standing there wondering what brought all that on.)

    The next day, a guy from the basketball team told me it was a good thing I wasn't on the cheerleading squad or he'd be throwing the ball into the stands. Again, total bafflement. I thought I had fallen through a crack in the earth into an alternate universe where guys had lost their minds.

    I've spent most of my life wanting to feel attractive and trying to dress/adorn myself according to what I like, what makes me feel like "me", but I still don't feel confident. I was pushed by my family between being treated like a whore (which I wasn't) and a saint (which I wasn't). There was no balance.

    I remember sitting with my INFJ guy friend outside class one day so he could have a smoke. A little old man came shambling by, waved, we waved back. He stopped, returned. Standing in front of me he said, "I just want you to know that you're a very lovely lady. Very beautiful." He said it so sweetly, so gallantly that a huge smile erupted on my face and I said, "Thank you, sir." He nodded and walked away.

    "That's the plumbing teacher," my friend said. "He keeps his teeth in his pocket." (head shake... men...)

    I realized that I was GRATEFUL. I was grateful for one of the first genuine, non-predatory, non-judgmental compliments I'd ever received. That man has been burned into my brain because he really undid a lot of damage with just one kind smile and word.

    I used to get gruesomely cat-called when I was a mechanic. Some of it was harmless, some of it was threatening and vulgar. Once, when I was on break, I had to walk through a corridor/breezeway between buildings to get to our lounge. Lining both sides of the aisle all the way down were the jackasses from X (I won't say where). I stopped dead, began backing up as the catcalling started. Right then, some boys from my shop came up behind me. One of them (an ISFP) grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder and they started plowing through the breezeway. There were profanities flying. It was amazing no one got into a brawl.

    That's been my typical experience, unfortunately.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  5. #145
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    People think I am full of shit, but I literally don't care that much about appearance. Ma morning routine involves dragging one self to the shower, drying self, applying deoderant, brushing teeth, and just toweling off hair which naturally just spikes up. I always dress in a variation of blue jeans and an unlogoed unmarked solid color t-shirt (dark colors) or long sleeve of same design if its cold. Seriously, unless its a special occasion, you will not see much variation, and I only where a watch for accessory. Nike's are standard (feet), and I do opt for the more fitted shirts, cuz I am at average good shape.

    Sadly, I am not too well endowed in the masculine hair department so I trim once every two weeks, which keeps a nice rustic look. All in all, I just try to look decent and not repulsive, but don't usually go out of my way unless its worth it.

    Morning routine = 15-20 minutes and after that I enjoy two kick ass waffles from waffle house for about 30 mins and then off to school/work it is. Man waffle house kicks ass, only place that makes eggs+Cheese and hashbrowns like mama.

    Anyway, is this normal for a male ENFP or am I just a slob?

    Oh yeah, what would I change? hmm... I am 5'10" and 4 more inches wouldn't hurt, trust me, it helps in the rebound department at pickup games. A thicker beard would also kick ass, but I hear that it would be more work in the shaving department. Maybe hair that could be styled in some sort of variation other than spikey, this is partially my fault because I refuse to grow my hair longer than an inch....Hmmm... I got a couple of those OMG eat a sandwich comments because I have hollow cheeks, but I am not that bad on the skinny department damn it...

    Hope that is good enough, but should I try more, personally I rely on the bubbly ENFP Charm/charisma more than anything, which is probably why I didn't put much effort in the looks department. Nothing hurts more than some chick asking you if you own any other style of clothes though...

  6. #146
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    treated like trash
    Hold up, your smoking hot though...

  7. #147
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
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    In my schooldays, I used to think boys had it the worst with the threat of physical violence always around the corner. And while that may cause present-time paranoia, a woman's sensitivity to emotion (generalization, of course) with regards to the pressure of appearance and relationships likely has far greater risk of problematic long-term effects.

    And people wonder why I am timid around women. I haven't the intuition to know how they want me to behave around them. It seems the rational decision for me to just stay away out of fear of hurting. At least I hope there's some empathy born from sensitivity in there.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  8. #148
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Hold up, your smoking hot though...
    You'd never like to meet the people I knew. I had my boyfriend compare me to Stephanie Seymour, and by compare I mean "You don't look like HER". I was kind of stunned. I didn't realize that I was in some sort of totally impossible competition. It was followed by constant barrages from other directions of "chicken legs", "stick girl", "eat a hamburger", "freak" and unflattering allusions to my pale skin. That same boyfriend leaned across the table to drool on our waitress one night and that's when I realized that there was no pleasing people. I had dressed up and I thought I looked really good, but apparently not.

    I remember a boy telling me once, just out of nowhere, that this girl who shall remain nameless would always be better and have more friends than me. Just out of nowhere. Same guy who pinned me down and started beating the hell out of me on my birthday (I kicked him in the face for it - good thing I was wearing boots). Something told me that he would wind up in the gutter. He did. He went to prison. Good riddance.

    I think anyone will try to gaslight you - no reason at all - just because they can. A girlfriend of mine in N. Ireland where I was going to school -she was in 4th form with me. Lovely lovely girl. Beautiful skin, pretty blue eyes, fairy-blond hair that curled in tiny ringlets around her neck. I thought she was just stunning, and I told her so. She laughed derisively and said I was blind. I saw the way the boys treated her, like she was hideous. I thought I must be going mad. She was clearly a beauty, and people being cruel to her got me into plenty of rows with creeps who needed a knot jerked in them.

    See what I mean? I think it's just totally arbitrary, and that mean people will be mean no matter what and try to make you think it's YOU. Too much hair, too little hair, too tan, too pale, too tall, too short, blah blah ad nauseum. Being a punk saved me from a lot of the persecution, or should I say, gave me a safe place. My girls had my back and frankly, they were scary people if you didn't know them.

    And in the favor of ENFPs, I openly admire your type's tenacity and natural willingness to give the status quo the finger. My twin proves it daily. So here's to you!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #149
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    And people wonder why I am timid around women. I haven't the intuition to know how they want me to behave around them. It seems the rational decision for me to just stay away out of fear of hurting. At least I hope there's some empathy born from sensitivity in there.
    You're right, that is a rational response made out of sensitivity and commendable.

    I am betting, though, that sometimes (especially if you do not openly articulate it), your holding yourself back might come across as aloofness or disinterest rather than consideration. It depends I suppose on the women you are with and how well they know you.

    Experience would bring some confidence that would help you leap more into things. That'll come.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #150
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    You're right, that is a rational response made out of sensitivity and commendable.

    I am betting, though, that sometimes (especially if you do not openly articulate it), your holding yourself back might come across as aloofness or disinterest rather than consideration. It depends I suppose on the women you are with and how well they know you.

    Experience would bring some confidence that would help you leap more into things. That'll come.
    I think you're right with the need for experience. Although, I don't really want to learn to leap; but just to trust the integrity of my intentions. Or develop integrity if that's what I need to do.


    I think the aloofness came across as homosexuality :rolli:. I have been told I was quite cute in my mid-teens (insecurity inducing), and so not to follow up interest from the opposite sex was considered dubious behavior.

    Of course an intense platonic relationship with a male friend didn't help much in that department. But perhaps it's now manifesting as poor development.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

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