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  1. #11
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Definitions and perspectives and cognitive biases (oh my?). And stuff. Probably.

    It seems kind of conceited to think that you know someone better than they know themselves but on the other hand, a lot of people seem to have an inaccurate view of who they are. What do you think?
    Barring the presence of any mental illness[es] affecting pertinent perceptual capacities (hm, and even then? I dunno. Not really the time or place to discuss it), I don’t know if it really makes sense to claim someone has an inaccurate view of herself; I’d sooner say “biased” (as my view of her would also be)—complete with blind spots, and also a view which no one else is able to see.

    You can not know me as I know myself. I have sole authority on the matter of familiarity with my person’s experience as itself, by virtue of mine being the only perspective ably positioned to perceive it; there is then no question of “who knows better,” as there is only one “who”—me. The quality of that “betterness” as it pertains to my own self-knowing, I guess, could be called to question by another person, but even then, this other person could only use the quality of the betterness pertaining to his own self-knowing, compared with his interpretations of the expression of mine, in order to judge. “I know myself better than you know yourself” vs. “I know you better than you know yourself.” Doesn’t really make sense, either.

    The one claiming to know me better than I know myself, though, can perceive me through a lens I can not—one entirely divorced from my own self-perspective (though, colored by his). His perceptions of me, I don’t think, are “wrong,” but also can not be “better” for reasons mentioned above. Indeed, I don’t even think his perceptions of me are really any of my business. So why do I still bristle at his claim to know me better?

    He says, “I know you better than you know yourself!”

    I hear, “[not only do I know you as well as you know yourself, but] I know you better than you know yourself!”

    He does not presume to know me as I do, though I assume he’d have to in order to judge his knowledge of me as better than mine; we’re working with different and incompatible ideas of what it means to know Tabula.

    Y’know?

    (Also, speaking only for and about me, my special snowflake complex compels me to spew venom when someone claims to know be better than I know me; I’m simply too speshel and complex. )

    Gah. I'm sorry for the convoluted mess of not-really-saying-anything. I don't know how better to say what I'm trying to say. I'm sure it's probably just common sense anyway.

    And, to actually (and poorly) answer the question: It depends.
    Last edited by Tabula; 04-03-2013 at 10:35 AM.

  2. #12
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    you know your own experience of yourself better then anyone, others know their experience of who you are better then you. The phenomena which is you can disclude neither your inner world nor the consequances of your choices upon others.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Do people tend to know themselves best? It seems kind of conceited to think that you know someone better than they know themselves but on the other hand, a lot of people seem to have an inaccurate view of who they are. What do you think?
    I feel it is something which should be a goal for everyone, to know yourself, its not a static thing either but a dynamic concept or idea that you know yourself.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    you know your own experience of yourself better then anyone, others know their experience of who you are better then you.


    You said in this one sentence what I couldn't manage to clearly say in a giant wall of text; I wanna hire you as spokesperson for my baby NeTi.

  5. #15
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    I am still interpreting things that were said about my character five years ago. It's probably a mix of both with some weird third variable tossed in, as I see Mane has already established with good detail.

  6. #16
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    How would that work? It's interesting to think about, I agree.
    I suppose sometimes people can deceive themselves rather easily, perhaps more easily than others. Perhaps that explains it more clearly. What are your/ someone elses thoughts on this?
    Jarlaxle: fact checking this thread makes me want to go all INFP on my wrists

    "I'm in competition with myself and I'm losing."
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  7. #17
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wheelchairdoug View Post
    I suppose sometimes people can deceive themselves rather easily, perhaps more easily than others. Perhaps that explains it more clearly. What are your/ someone elses thoughts on this?
    Hmm I wonder how. I think that people can be biased in regards to certain parts of their personality (like their shortcomings, strengths, etc.) but for the most part, know themselves best.
    I really like cats and food.

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