So, you wake up everyday, and you're like...wow, this again? And the questions begin...what is this? Why is this? Who is this? After about 10 minutes of this, you shut yourself up because you know life doesn't have those answers for you, and you get to work on what you're supposed to be doing. As you go about your day, you meet people here and there and they make you think differently about something...at the least, they bring to surface something about your thinking you hadn't faced yet...at least they do for me....and you get to thinking about it again, more..never newly, because, really, how many things do you think about that are new? And even if you're thinking about something new, you already know yourself way too well to not know how you'll conclude. Really, the thinking is just going through the motions to ensure no mistakes were made...it's like long division, easy enough to not really be conscious of it as you're doing it.
Only, this thing starts to make you consider about possibly changing the life you had set out before you previously, though you laugh at such notions as life isn't yours to "set out" before yourself anyway, and you find yourself in an existential mess again...what am I doing with my life, really? I'm just some guy, doing nothing at all, wasting time, and at the end of it all, I'll be gone. In the meantime, I'm supposed to care about reading a book? It seems like priorities are messed up. So, you get to thinking, ok, what would I like to do? And the truth is, you don't know...you do whatever it is you like to or not to at the time of your doing or non doing of it. Eventually, you go home...relax a bit...fall asleep and wake up the next day wondering what exactly you'll wake up to.
Life is hard.