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Thread: Gender Bender in the dressing room

  1. #121
    now! in shell form Array INA's Avatar
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    Jun 2008


    I don't understand why the very simple idea of expecting only women in women's dressing areas is turned into a "but I want my man to see what I'm trying on so who's more important????" childish spat. It has nothing to do with who is more important and whether you should respect women's discomfort with your man in the area. Anyone who sees it that way has maturity issues. It is labeled women's for a reason. Go outside the area and show it to him if you have no need for archaic boundaries. Hell, get dressed outside and forgo the dressing room entirely.

  2. #122


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    btw...i'm going to lane bryant's tomorrow, with FineLine and his wife, somewhere in Baltimore, during the day while the traffic is low. So if you're in that city anywhere, PM, don't go there.
    I'm guessing I'll be dragged over by the changing rooms by the women yet again and prodded to give my (non-existent) opinions: "Do you think this outfit looks better in tan or beige?"

    Quote Originally Posted by scantilyclad View Post
    i'd actually prefer that the person i was with didn't have to sit outside, because i don't like to step out and show EVERYONE how horrible or good i look in something. I remember being at this one store, where you actually had to walk out of the dressing room to look in the mirror, and everyone embarassed me by telling me how good something looked. i'd rather just open the door for a quick show or opinon, and then close the door.
    I think every dressing room area should have a catwalk/runway. For the supermodel in us all.

  3. #123
    Lallygag Moderator Array Geoff's Avatar
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    Apr 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm wracking my brain, and I can't come up with a single scenario where a guy has been allowed to sit in the area where I'm actually changing. Just outside the dressing rooms in a designated sitting area, yes, but not right outside the door, or in the stall with another woman or anything. Where is this happening?
    I've seen couples in changing rooms in the UK. I think maybe we are a bit more relaxed about such stuff? Not all the time, but it's not unusual to see a guy and girl come out of a changing room together to examine a piece of clothing that she's helped him put on (it's usually that way around)

  4. #124
    insert random title here Array Randomnity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    6w5 sp/sx


    Now I'm confused. Is this about people being uncomfortable because men can see them in clothes they will buy, and therefore will wear on the street, or because women are coming out half-naked?

    If it's the latter, why on earth would you come out not fully clothed anyway? (and if the former, men will see you in the clothes eventually I'm not sure what the problem is either way, with the exception of bathing suits/lingerie )

    Maybe it really is different here. I rarely/never see half-naked women in the dressing room area, thankfully. Maybe because it seems to be more common here to have men around, in which case it seems like a positive thing to me.

  5. #125
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    INFp None


    If society is such that men are showing up in and around dressing rooms, then the simplest solution would be for stores to put actual doors on the rooms rather than flimsy curtains that don't actually close all the way anyway. I don't care who is around if i have me a full-length door that locks.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
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  6. #126
    Plumage and Moult Array proteanmix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Allow me to paint a clearer picture.

    There are some dressing rooms that open out into a main store. There is no separate area or cove or hamlet where the dressing rooms are hidden from the general store area. Example H&M dressing rooms. I am not talking about these dressing rooms which I have used and have walked out of and don't really care about. These are typically when I shop at unisex clothing stores.

    The dressing rooms I'm talking about are placed in a less conspicuous area of the store and do not open out into the main store. There are several stalls/cubicles in an enclosed area. Within this enclosed area there are ottomans for people to sit on. Outside of this enclosed area there are couches for people to sit on. The man in the first store was sitting in the enclosed area on an ottoman. He was inside of the designated women's dressing room area, but not in the stall with the woman.

    In the second store there was still a designated, inconspicuous women's dressing room area with seats inside this area. The dressing rooms do not open to the main store either. There is NO place for people to sit outside of the dressing rooms, so if someone wants to show an outfit they must exist the stall, then exit the dressing room area and go out into the general store. There were guys in this area trying on clothes.

    In both situations the men where inside of the designated women's dressing room area in a womans clothing store. Evidently people find it illogical to assume that in a women's clothing store the dressing rooms are for women only. I have this wonderful tendency of being impervious to logical arguments so I'll continue along my irrational path of believing that only women should be in the dressing rooms.

  7. #127
    unscannable Array Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    I've seen couples in changing rooms in the UK. I think maybe we are a bit more relaxed about such stuff? Not all the time, but it's not unusual to see a guy and girl come out of a changing room together to examine a piece of clothing that she's helped him put on (it's usually that way around)
    What would Trinny and Susannah say?

  8. #128
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Array Jae Rae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007


    I've never been in H&M, but I know they started in Sweden and have ridiculously cheap clothes. Perhaps they have laxer ideas of propriety. My guess is if there are ottomans within the general dressing room area, the expectation is that people will be sitting on them, waiting for women to come out to show their outfits - and some of them could be men. In any case, now you know the situation at H&M, it seems you have two choices: shop elsewhere or don't leave your stall unless you're completely dressed.

    I also think that a woman who asks her guy to shop with her shouldn't expect total privacy when it's time to show her outfit. The compromise is you have to come out where other people might see you in exchange for the POV of the person who matters.

    I've been in K-Mart (not recently) and Target where there are definite men's and women's dressing areas. They have attendants and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let a guy past them to try on or appraise clothes. I've also been to Nordstrom, Macy's and other nice stores where the same is true. Some Gaps are unisex, but I've never run into a bit of trouble with disrepectful men there either.

    It seems the younger, hipper stores are looser about having men & women together in the changing areas, so if that bothers you, you gotta go elsewhere.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  9. #129


    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Does this mean that I'm a bad citizen for bringing the person I date into dressing rooms with me for wanton purposes?

    Not always.... but sometimes THAT'S a good reason for why a person of the wrong gender/sex may be in the dressing room
    Actually, that's a terrible reason. You give the well-behaved couples a bad name.

    Not that I'm a prude, but if you're going to do shit like that you have to at least acknowledge that you're being really inconsiderate when you do it.
    I don't wanna!

  10. #130
    señor member Array colmena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    Either complain/make a suggestion or don't shop in a store you feel uncomfortable in

    It must be culture development related, and this creates the context that we don't really understand, but is now latent in our values and unwritten rules: like swimming pools have open changing areas where everyone can see everything, but clothing stores have cubicles for privacy.

    Complain or leave.

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    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
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