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  1. #111
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    This is what I mean, and why I'm being a pain about it, can someone explain why a male behaving as Jae Rae suggests, like a gentleman, should be excluded?

    Bad behaviour shouldn't be assumed on the basis of gender.
    I think it is fine if a man is in the chairs or outside area waiting. I just don't want him in the actual cubicle areas. I don't care how well behaved he is, he does not belong in the actual dressing room itself. It is not about assuming bad behavior, just a boundary.

    I don't see what the problem here is. I have shown my husband outfits plenty of times in the seating area. I never had a problem with employees not allowing this.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluebell View Post
    OK, maybe I'm missing something here. This question is not just aimed at heart, but the others who are also uncomfortable with guys coming in to the dressing room. Why does gender make a difference? For me, everything that heart has written equally applies to both men and women strangers.
    Can't really explain it, just that it is more a sisterhood type thing. I am vain enough to care what the opposite sex thinks of me, I admit this. I want to keep certain boundaries in place with the opposite sex as far as modesty goes. It is nice for there to be places where one can expect modesty with one's own sex in the midst of public places.

    Yes, some women have given off icky vibes at times, but for the most part it is just that we're the same sex and seems safer.

  2. #112
    Reigning Bologna Princess Rajah's Avatar
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    This thread confuses me.

    It seems like a pretty easy solution, though:

    (1) Women's dressing rooms are for women.
    (2) If a woman wants a guy to comment on her dress, then he can wait outside the room for her, OR if nobody has a complaint about it, go in the room with her.
    (3) If a woman has a complaint about a guy being in the area, she should politely ask him to leave and have that request upheld.
    (4) If a guy is trying on women's clothing in a women's clothing store, all bets are off... there are no other reasonable accommodations for him. It's up to the store to handle that situation.


    Does that pretty much cover it?


    If you want to get into a deeper philosophical discussion about it all, I think modesty here is a bit misguided. You're worried about being exposed to guys who (1) aren't even in the same room as you, and (2) can't even see you. From what I gather, some of you are upset because you want to strut your half-naked self around the dressing room floor? As a woman, I'd prefer not to see that in the open spaces to begin with. I don't want to see guys or women in states of undress in the common areas. Yet if I saw it, I'd shrug and go on with my day. BFD.


    I... suppose. Yeah!

  3. #113
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Most stores in my experience have a very visible gate to the dressing room area, one cannot get through without taking the little dressing room token from the salespeople to get through usually.
    Oh wow, maybe this is a cultural difference then. I have never ever seen a shop like that including men's stores, women's stores and large department stores.

    In the sports warehouses that I buy my swimwear from - the doors of the change room cubicles open straight out in to the main store. And that doesn't bother me at all.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  4. #114
    Senior Member Dom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    They are cheap. And no, I don't think most men are trying to peek, certainly not at me, but that does not change the extreme discomfort of the situation.
    Yes, as are the restroom stalls, which is a problem, there is no need for them to be and I'd have thought a clothes store would understand how good, solid, private changing rooms would be an attractive asset to it. However I still dont not understand why it should be an extreme discomfort.

    And FWIW, telling a woman her problem is in her head is . . . not such a good idea right after poopooing Victorian attitudes.
    While I quite understand that telling anyone the problem is in their head isn't always going to win friends, or even help much, if I honestly think it is in their heads I'm left with little else to debate with!

    I really don't understand how that was connected with poopooing Victorian attitudes, sorry :S

  5. #115
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rajah View Post
    As a woman, I'd prefer not to see that in the open spaces to begin with. I don't want to see guys or women in states of undress in the common areas. Yet if I saw it, I'd shrug and go on with my day. BFD.
    Same, except it does bug me (but because of my own personal hang ups from stuff that happened to me in the past, and therefore I don't expect others to share that hang up).
    Last edited by bluebell; 06-15-2008 at 11:50 PM. Reason: I should read more carefully before agreeing. Doh.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  6. #116
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Does this mean that I'm a bad citizen for bringing the person I date into dressing rooms with me for wanton purposes?

    Not always.... but sometimes THAT'S a good reason for why a person of the wrong gender/sex may be in the dressing room

    (yeah- I'll use the men's restroom if the line for the women's one is too long too )
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #117
    Senior Member Dom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I think it is fine if a man is in the chairs or outside area waiting. I just don't want him in the actual cubicle areas. I don't care how well behaved he is, he does not belong in the actual dressing room itself. It is not about assuming bad behavior, just a boundary.

    I don't see what the problem here is. I have shown my husband outfits plenty of times in the seating area. I never had a problem with employees not allowing this.
    Yes, and at the same time you are showing the whole world, and not behind the protective boundry of the dressing room, so all the other men or women in the area will be looking you up and down and making judgements about you.

    I respect your right to see it as a boundry, I just don't understand the need for it, the boundry as I see it should be at the point where you can be seen getting undressed, if someone else can't see you doing this, why is there a problem? I frankly don't understand why I can't be in the cubical itself, with the woman I'm shopping with, assuming she invited me...

    Why do you get to decide what acceptable behaviour or expectations are for others?

  8. #118
    Senior Member Dom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rajah View Post
    This thread confuses me.

    It seems like a pretty easy solution, though:

    (1) Women's dressing rooms are for women.
    (2) If a woman wants a guy to comment on her dress, then he can wait outside the room for her, OR if nobody has a complaint about it, go in the room with her.
    (3) If a woman has a complaint about a guy being in the area, she should politely ask him to leave and have that request upheld.
    (4) If a guy is trying on women's clothing in a women's clothing store, all bets are off... there are no other reasonable accommodations for him. It's up to the store to handle that situation.


    Does that pretty much cover it?


    If you want to get into a deeper philosophical discussion about it all, I think modesty here is a bit misguided. You're worried about being exposed to guys who (1) aren't even in the same room as you, and (2) can't even see you. From what I gather, some of you are upset because you want to strut your half-naked self around the dressing room floor? As a woman, I'd prefer not to see that in the open spaces to begin with. I don't want to see guys or women in states of undress in the common areas. Yet if I saw it, I'd shrug and go on with my day. BFD.
    Word... though I have no idea what to do about part 4...

  9. #119
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I'm wracking my brain, and I can't come up with a single scenario where a guy has been allowed to sit in the area where I'm actually changing. Just outside the dressing rooms in a designated sitting area, yes, but not right outside the door, or in the stall with another woman or anything. Where is this happening?

  10. #120
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    One time i was with a friend at the mall, and we went into the buckle so he could try on pants, and the lady actually asked us if we wanted a dressing room together.

    i'd actually prefer that the person i was with didn't have to sit outside, because i don't like to step out and show EVERYONE how horrible or good i look in something. I remember being at this one store, where you actually had to walk out of the dressing room to look in the mirror, and everyone embarassed me by telling me how good something looked. i'd rather just open the door for a quick show or opinon, and then close the door.
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