I've got this horrible habit of watching squirrels. It lost me a job!
It started simple enough. I was sitting in a park, eating my lunch and minding my own business, when one of those furry bastards hopped aimlessly into my field of vision, suddenly scampered towards what I can only assume was some sort of shiny pebble, and then proceeded to wrestle it in what can only be described as an epic battle of wills. The struggle went on for several minutes and then the squirrel stopped, as if it sensed the man-scaled months of its life slipping away. So it bounded off into the street. I can't say for certain whether or not it survived.
It was like an odd satiric social commentary. I was hooked. I don't know if it was the same squirrel or a different one, but what I saw, again, offered a perspective on life that gave me pause.
The little rodent started running around the trunk of a tree, full tilt, lord knows why. Some of its cousins joined it in this activity. Eventually, four squirrels were dashing around the trunk of the tree in endless circles. None of them got dizzy. None of them seemed to see any point in stopping. They seemed to be driven by a mad compulsion to do something that didn't seem particularly fun for no particular reason.
I was so impressed by the absurdity that I sat there, watching the display. Eventually, the tone on the intercom told everyone to get back on the floor, back to work. I stayed to watch it a little while longer.
When I had my fill of that I looked back at the warehouse and walked to my car. I only went back to watch the squirrels.
I can't allow anyone to truly get close to me. If anyone somehow crosses my mental or emotional barriers even briefly, I push them out in an abrupt manner. Fear of intimacy, I guess. Lack of trust in most people.
It's destructive because keeping everyone at arm's length, ensures I don't have any true human connections.
Wasting time on the Web. All the neat stuff on the intarwebs just distracts me too much. Shopping, blogs, TV shows, jdorama, Youtube, Facebook, Wikipedia. I could be so much more productive if I just turned off my computer. Fascination with MBTI doesn't help. I'm here, aren't I?.