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  1. #41
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Woah, that's terrible. Why were you bullied?
    Moderately terrible and the reason was just that I was different and passive. Not a very deep answer, but regardless of how they affect you, most aren't.

    That's sad, did it ever get better for you?
    Certainly better and it was only a few years, but nothing that happens to you leaves you untouched.

    I was told that life starts after high school; life starts after college; life starts when you work; life starts when you get married... Life just keeps going. No landmarks, just constant progress. Your story isn't so different, so while I can say that it will affect you, it does get better. You do have to put effort in to move forward but these irritating years fade away really fast.

  2. #42

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Ah I see. Could you go more in-depth?
    Not much more to say really.

  3. #43
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Moderately terrible and the reason was just that I was different and passive. Not a very deep answer, but regardless of how they affect you, most aren't.



    Certainly better and it was only a few years, but nothing that happens to you leaves you untouched.

    I was told that life starts after high school; life starts after college; life starts when you work; life starts when you get married... Life just keeps going. No landmarks, just constant progress. Your story isn't so different, so while I can say that it will affect you, it does get better. You do have to put effort in to move forward but these irritating years fade away really fast.
    Different in what way? I wish it could. Ah I see. How's life now? How did you move on?

  4. #44
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Not much more to say really.
    Aww, that's a shame. How were your teenage years like as a fellow ENTJ?

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    People are fucked up wherever you go... even on here. Some people are going through a phase while others truly think that way.

    Unless the parents did something truly damaging, they only have some influence on how the child turns out.
    Urggh it's frustrating though. Ah, I see.

  6. #46
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Different in what way?
    Mostly just social anxiety and generalised anxiety from that. Nothing special in the scope of things. The major issue is that my anxiety flares up during certain types of conflict, which makes conflict resolution an ongoing thing for me to monitor.

    How's life now?
    Pretty good. I mean, married, happy, just finished travelling around the world. I don't have much in the way of tangible misery. Even if I'm working too hard, I'm doing because I want to, not because of money/bills.

    To say I have no frustrations wouldn't be true but I'm satisfied with life.

    How did you move on?
    I don't know if I can answer this; what does it mean to move on? I found friends, bought a place with my GF, got married, sold my place... I moved careers a couple of times. Some family passed away, my dog did too. I ended up travelling a few times, a lot more recently.

    I can note that I did end up seeing a counsellor for work stress, which indirectly probably helped.

    It's... everything. You just keep going on.


    ---

    Side note; I have no problem answering questions, but a bit of context on your curiousity would make it easier

  7. #47
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Mostly just social anxiety and generalised anxiety from that. Nothing special in the scope of things. The major issue is that my anxiety flares up during certain types of conflict, which makes conflict resolution an ongoing thing for me to monitor.



    Pretty good. I mean, married, happy, just finished travelling around the world. I don't have much in the way of tangible misery. Even if I'm working too hard, I'm doing because I want to, not because of money/bills.

    To say I have no frustrations wouldn't be true but I'm satisfied with life.



    I don't know if I can answer this; what does it mean to move on? I found friends, bought a place with my GF, got married, sold my place... I moved careers a couple of times. Some family passed away, my dog did too. I ended up travelling a few times, a lot more recently.

    I can note that I did end up seeing a counsellor for work stress, which indirectly probably helped.

    It's... everything. You just keep going on.


    ---

    Side note; I have no problem answering questions, but a bit of context on your curiousity would make it easier
    Oh I see. Oooh how was travelling around the world like? Wow, that's pretty amazing. What's your career? Hmm, I guess move forward emotionally? I see. Haha I'm a really curious person. I find that you can learn a lot from other people's experiences, thought processes, etc.

  8. #48
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    For what its worth, life does get better. Encountering the ignorant, misogyny, extreme feminism, narcissism, and just plain stupidity won't get better.. but who you get to surround yourself with does get better as an adult. I'm not a teenager, but I felt very similar to what you are saying as one.. I don't miss high school, never have.

    Moving to a big town or city, and probably a liberal one, helps a lot. Not a ton, but it helps. You'll find a good work niche too.. if you don't like your co-workers, just switch jobs. It's not like high school where you're stuck with the same knuckleheads no matter what. You get so much more influence over yourself and your own life, which in turn influences who you're around and how the people around you act.

    So hang in there dear. Teenager isn't a life-long disorder, it's cured with time and patience. Until then, I'd turn your focus onto and entirely dedicate yourself to what you want in your future.. that ought to make you feel like you're stepping in the right direction. (Hint: if you have no idea what you want in the future... just pick something and start walking. Better to change your direction a bit later than never start at all.)
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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    For what its worth, life does get better. Encountering the ignorant, misogyny, extreme feminism, narcissism, and just plain stupidity won't get better.. but who you get to surround yourself with does get better as an adult. I'm not a teenager, but I felt very similar to what you are saying as one.. I don't miss high school, never have.

    Moving to a big town or city, and probably a liberal one, helps a lot. Not a ton, but it helps. You'll find a good work niche too.. if you don't like your co-workers, just switch jobs. It's not like high school where you're stuck with the same knuckleheads no matter what. You get so much more influence over yourself and your own life, which in turn influences who you're around and how the people around you act.

    So hang in there dear. Teenager isn't a life-long disorder, it's cured with time and patience. Until then, I'd turn your focus onto and entirely dedicate yourself to what you want in your future.. that ought to make you feel like you're stepping in the right direction. (Hint: if you have no idea what you want in the future... just pick something and start walking. Better to change your direction a bit later than never start at all.)
    How did you deal with high school? I hope to do so, I want to go to college in a big town or city, if I do go to college that is. That makes me happy. How's it like being an adult? I definitely hope so. I would do that but I don't know what I want to do in the future, like at all. I have a ton of planning notebooks but I don't know what to actually do. I never feel productive if I'm actually enjoying something and a feeling of accomplishment is important to me. Like what? I'm completely clueless about what I want to do.

  10. #50
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Oh I see. Oooh how was travelling around the world like? Wow, that's pretty amazing.
    I basically hopped on a cruise ship in Florida and went sailing around the world back to Florida. It was amazing. I haven't really talked about it in my blog beyond a very quick summary so I can't requote and it would take hundreds of thousands of words to convey it.

    Expensive, probably the lazy and safe way of travelling, but the nicest way I could of visited 40+ countries in only a few years. I also hit the major spots, which are tough to get to... like Easter Island.


    What's your career?
    I don't have one.

    I've lived a varied life. Work wise, in my teens I worked for an in-house print shop in a large technology company, then the financial company thing, then I worked a long stretch doing project co-ordination and project management light. Tough to explain that position; I did database administration alongside document management and overall management of schedules budgets and stuff. To put it in context, they were large projects - total projects we watched over would well exceed a billion dollars. So that was cool, simply because of the scope.

    Right now I'm helping a friend who is taking over a family engineering business, doing much the same thing (although on a smaller scale). As a result, I end up doing just about everything; structural drawings, detailed design review, tons of the whole customer -> us -> subcontractor stuff, instrumentation (which is lots of logic diagrams, etc.) and I suppose a lot of the logistics (purchasing, shipping etc).

    I just do... couldn't care less what I'm doing. So my "career" is built around what I have done and what I'm good at. I'd rather be doing something new as well, so that plays a very big part of me moving around.

    As far as education -> career track, I don't use a thing I've learned. Right now I'm looking for a degree in financial engineering, but I've taken tech school (network engineering) to liberal arts (psychology). Course, I don't really finish those degrees, bwhahah.

    I really don't follow social norms in that regard. It's not the easiest or best choice to make... but it's what I can't help but do!

    Hmm, I guess move forward emotionally?
    I just did, I guess. I mean, all those things moved me forward, step by step. Things that were a hurdle, like dating with social anxiety, just faded away.



    I see. Haha I'm a really curious person. I find that you can learn a lot from other people's experiences, thought processes, etc.
    Absolutely, and it's good thing to be curious

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