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  1. #31
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Please don't take this as a personal offense, but in my neuropsych class we learned that teenagers are in fact a special kind of stupid, due to developmental timing. Certain brain functions develop more quickly than others, and hormones make a mess of everything, and as a result teenagers are generally socially stunted, self-absorbed, risk-taking, and moody. For one, teens read use more gut/emotional responding in the brain than advanced frontal processing, so they tend to read more emotion into situations. Males also tend to be particularly gut-reactive. There's a lack of consequence-oriented thinking, which obviously has a not-so-positive impact.

    Here's a good article - http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2...teenage-brain/

    And of course, everyone is still growing.

    My consolation is that most of the asshole teenagers from my middle school seem to have actually grown up to be quite decent adults, and I'm friends with a good handful of them now via Facebook - it's neat to see how we've all matured. I was moody and whiny and rebellious then, myself. Given, of course, some of them hold political views I think are idiotic, religious views I think are odd, or are taking directions in their life that I would not choose to take, but that's their choice and overall most of them have panned out to seem pretty normal and well-adjusted.

    I hope the guy talking about rape gets in a good formative experience soon enough that will change his views for the better.
    Oh god, that's great. Something else to look forward to. How did you become more mature? That all seems great to be honest. Same here, and the thing that disgusted me the most was that others joined in with him while people kept calling me an idiot, slut, and telling me to shut up. Rudeness doesn't support anybody's points, logic, reason, and facts do.

  2. #32
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    How were your teenage years like?
    In a nut shell...

    Pre-teen was me being a happy go-lucky kid.

    By the teens, I was bullied, developped social anxiety, withdrew entirely from the world. If you want details, no problem, but... hopefully my life doesn't have too many similarities to yours.

    I was "old" by the time I was a teen, and I got older really fast from there. I withdrew into books and computers so I became a pretty classic example of "rapid forced maturity", of which there are many on the board (both similar to my story, or just rapid forced maturity).

    I'm not sure how much I matured beyond that, honestly, but I'm not sure how much others have matured either. I doubt we ever reach a "fully matured point".

    What’s mature stupid like?
    Here's my analogy:

    Teenage "stupid" is like a bird jumping out of a nest to fly. It's kind of ridiculous, flops around, yells alot and flies very very badly. And they peck at all their siblings endlessly. But you know, learning to fly is kind of hard and a bit scary.

    Mature "stupid" is like a peacock, who doesn't really fly anyway, strutting around and fluttering its wings. It runs really really fast into walls just to prove how tough it is. Then it spreads its wings and rustles them at everyone really impressively, right before running into the next wall.

    --

    The really bad part is when that little bird, and the showy bird, haven't gotten past those stages by the time their feathers are falling out.

    Also, now that I have used this analogy, you will never be able to look at a club dance floor without seeing birds in a mating dance.

  3. #33
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Haha, that's cool. Me, I was mostly moody. Escapist too, I locked myself in my room and spent ridiculous amounts of time on the internet (did learn a lot, though, taught myself more than one programming language). I was hyper-focused on my body and felt like an outsider with the physical flaws I felt like I had. I argued a lot with my INTP dad - my sense of ethical fairness versus his sense of logical appropriateness. I liked middle school, even though people seemed cattier, but disliked high school, because it seemed pedantic and restrictive.



    Yeah that's probably true. I'm in that range right now. It's funny because as a teen I went from feeling like an adult trapped in a child's body to now feeling like a child trapped in an adult body. It's like as a teenager you try to push for all these freedoms and then as an adult you GET all these freedoms and are like, why the fuck did I ask for this?

    Thanks. Lol I relate to that. I spend quite a bit of time online. I feel like that a fourth of the time because everyone seems to judge you by your physical appearance when you're a female teenager but then I realize, I don't really care and that looks shouldn't matter as much as it should to certain people although I try to look presentable and neat and I'm also into fashion. I argue a lot with everyone for some reason. I hated middle school because everyone seemed stupid but now in high school, some people seem pretty friendly. What are the freedoms like as an adult? I don't want to become an adult yet because there's so much I haven't planned and prepared for yet.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    What kind of things bothered you? Ah, I see. Yes, most definitely. It happened when I decided to share my opinion about this. More people joined in supporting this guy and saying he was defending our culture and "defend it from hell," while my opinion was degraded by comments saying that I'm "probably a slut," or a "women who's trying to ruin this society by trying to look slutty." I guess so, I find it really disappointing though. What's the cut off point? I really don't believe age is an excuse. That sounds great though. That these people won't always believe they're right about their problematic opinions.
    Personally I dont think age excuses any opinion or behaviour but I just hold out hope that in time they'll realise that, I dont hold the opinions or the exact same opinions as I did when I was a teenager, neither do a lot of people I know.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Both. I agree with you though I also think there's definitely something wrong with the parenting today. A lot of kids were taught to believe that we're "special," and that we "deserve" certain things.
    I dont just blame the parents, not for a moment, there was a time when there was enough of a decent public ethos or popular culture that even if you had lousy parenting it wasnt a foregone conclusion that you'd be how you've described.

    Now unless you have a certain sort of parenting your friends, maybe even schooling, the media, games, TV, films, everything will reinforce the assholery.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    In a nut shell...

    Pre-teen was me being a happy go-lucky kid.

    By the teens, I was bullied, developped social anxiety, withdrew entirely from the world. If you want details, no problem, but... hopefully my life doesn't have too many similarities to yours.

    I was "old" by the time I was a teen, and I got older really fast from there. I withdrew into books and computers so I became a pretty classic example of "rapid forced maturity", of which there are many on the board (both similar to my story, or just rapid forced maturity).

    I'm not sure how much I matured beyond that, honestly, but I'm not sure how much others have matured either. I doubt we ever reach a "fully matured point".



    Here's my analogy:

    Teenage "stupid" is like a bird jumping out of a nest to fly. It's kind of ridiculous, flops around, yells alot and flies very very badly. And they peck at all their siblings endlessly. But you know, learning to fly is kind of hard and a bit scary.

    Mature "stupid" is like a peacock, who doesn't really fly anyway, strutting around and fluttering its wings. It runs really really fast into walls just to prove how tough it is. Then it spreads its wings and rustles them at everyone really impressively, right before running into the next wall.

    --

    The really bad part is when that little bird, and the showy bird, haven't gotten past those stages by the time their feathers are falling out.

    Also, now that I have used this analogy, you will never be able to look at a club dance floor without seeing birds in a mating dance.
    Woah, that's terrible. Why were you bullied? My life's odd as I was a really depressed, withdrawn kid when I was younger because I was bullied and my mom used to beat me all the time but when I was around 12 years old, I became so much more talkative and gained an actual moral compass. That's sad, did it ever get better for you? Mature stupid seems irritating. I feel like writing a story about birds now. Nope, nor will I be able to look at my peers without imagining them as birds.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I dont just blame the parents, not for a moment, there was a time when there was enough of a decent public ethos or popular culture that even if you had lousy parenting it wasnt a foregone conclusion that you'd be how you've described.

    Now unless you have a certain sort of parenting your friends, maybe even schooling, the media, games, TV, films, everything will reinforce the assholery.
    Ah, I see. What do you think about the popular culture today and how it affects teenagers?

  8. #38
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Ah, I see. What do you think about the popular culture today and how it affects teenagers?


    All my posts give a clue.

    Its not a big contributor to the problem. No shared culture, no consensus, total fragmentation into warring camps, it all adds to it too.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post


    All my posts give a clue.

    Its not a big contributor to the problem. No shared culture, no consensus, total fragmentation into warring camps, it all adds to it too.
    Ah I see. Could you go more in-depth?

  10. #40
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    People are fucked up wherever you go... even on here. Some people are going through a phase while others truly think that way.

    Unless the parents did something truly damaging, they only have some influence on how the child turns out.

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