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  1. #21
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Please don't take this as a personal offense, but in my neuropsych class we learned that teenagers are in fact a special kind of stupid, due to developmental timing. Certain brain functions develop more quickly than others, and hormones make a mess of everything, and as a result teenagers are generally socially stunted, self-absorbed, risk-taking, and moody. For one, teens read use more gut/emotional responding in the brain than advanced frontal processing, so they tend to read more emotion into situations. Males also tend to be particularly gut-reactive. There's a lack of consequence-oriented thinking, which obviously has a not-so-positive impact.

    Here's a good article - http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2...teenage-brain/

    And of course, everyone is still growing.

    My consolation is that most of the asshole teenagers from my middle school seem to have actually grown up to be quite decent adults, and I'm friends with a good handful of them now via Facebook - it's neat to see how we've all matured. I was moody and whiny and rebellious then, myself. Given, of course, some of them hold political views I think are idiotic, religious views I think are odd, or are taking directions in their life that I would not choose to take, but that's their choice and overall most of them have panned out to seem pretty normal and well-adjusted.

    I hope the guy talking about rape gets in a good formative experience soon enough that will change his views for the better.

  2. #22
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    I hear where you are coming from. All I can offer is some perspective.


    Everyone, and I am dismissing age here, is still growing. The gap you feel is because you grew faster than your peers. In every single group (no matter how you slice it - gender, age, economic) there will be some that are at the less developped range, and some that are at the more developped range. This is a life long issue.

    When you are at the more developped range, you see the world as frustating, moving slower than you are. It's constraining you. When you are at the less developped range, you see the world passing by you. It's frustrating because you are being left behind. Both tend to have stronger reactions, no to mention there is a huge understanding gap between the two sides.

    So your observation is correct and your emotions certainly are valid... and you'll feel this at times all your life; it gets better as you build a circle of friends that are closer to how you are.

    Also, don't feel too bad about those around you, small town or not. Slower doesn't mean they won't move forward, often in stops and starts. They may not be friends or people you like right now, especially because comments like your OP are clearly more done for pushing limits and other maturing processes, but most will change or be changed. There is no point internalising other people's maturing process.

    ---

    (I have intentionally kept age out of this, but I'll be honest here: perspective is gained over time. Virtually every single person here has thought and gone through what you have... this board is full of early maturers. You are in good company, even though they may have forgotten.)
    That's a relief then. I see, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

  3. #23
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Please don't take this as a personal offense, but in my neuropsych class we learned that teenagers are in fact a special kind of stupid, due to developmental timing. Certain brain functions develop more quickly than others, and hormones make a mess of everything, and as a result teenagers are generally socially stunted, self-absorbed, risk-taking, and moody. For one, teens read use more gut/emotional responding in the brain than advanced frontal processing, so they tend to read more emotion into situations. Males also tend to be particularly gut-reactive. There's a lack of consequence-oriented thinking, which obviously has a not-so-positive impact.

    Here's a good article - http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2...teenage-brain/
    None taken. That's really interesting though does that apply to every teenager or do teenagers tend to be like that? What causes that? How does gut/emotional responding work? Oh okay, I'll read that article.

  4. #24
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    Teenager here. The only thing I have to say is this--some people are idiots and it's a waste of time to try and reason with some of them. Save your breath and keep your head high.

  5. #25
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ Tendencies. I suspect different types of people will exhibit changes differently. I'm not surprised if you as an ENTJ feel a little "ahead" of this process and have better perspective. FPs I would suspect to wax more emotional; Se types probably tend to be especially risk-taking; N types probably tend to be more escapist, etc. Just my guesses. I assume regular characteristics are exacerbated to some extent.

  6. #26
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    Teenager here. The only thing I have to say is this--some people are idiots and it's a waste of time to try and reason with some of them. Save your breath and keep your head high.
    Yeah, I've realized that after a while. I will, thanks.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    ^ Tendencies. I suspect different types of people will exhibit changes differently. I'm not surprised if you as an ENTJ feel a little "ahead" of this process and have better perspective. FPs I would suspect to wax more emotional; Se types probably tend to be especially risk-taking; N types probably tend to be more escapist, etc. Just my guesses. I assume regular characteristics are exacerbated to some extent.
    Ah I see. I used to be somewhat escapist when I was younger. I had this imaginary world I went to when I slept at night from the time I was 8. I still go there sometimes. Okay, I understand that. How was adolescence like for you as an ENFP?

  8. #28
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    That's a relief then. I see, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?
    34 in a couple of weeks. Every generation will give you a little bit of a different view. Those in their 20's now will understand your environment better, those older (40s,50s,60s) will have more generations to compare to, but be more distant from current issues. IOW, I know I'm old enough to be out of touch with today's reality, and young enough to not have enough reference points. It'll be true for every piece of advice you get, but it's still worth talking about.

    ---

    I intentionally stayed away from age related issues, but Skylight is essentially correct. Development in early teens is rapid and erratic, and as irritating as it sounds (patronizing even), it's true even for yourself - ahead of the curve or not. OTOH, I would say that at least teenagers are growing up; the stupidity you see from 18-25 is a whole different kind of stupid. It's a "mature stupid" that I find far worse.

  9. #29
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    34 in a couple of weeks. Every generation will give you a little bit of a different view. Those in their 20's now will understand your environment better, those older (40s,50s,60s) will have more generations to compare to, but be more distant from current issues. IOW, I know I'm old enough to be out of touch with today's reality, and young enough to not have enough reference points. It'll be true for every piece of advice you get, but it's still worth talking about.

    ---

    I intentionally stayed away from age related issues, but Skylight is essentially correct. Development in early teens is rapid and erratic, and as irritating as it sounds (patronizing even), it's true even for yourself - ahead of the curve or not. OTOH, I would say that at least teenagers are growing up; the stupidity you see from 18-25 is a whole different kind of stupid. It's a "mature stupid" that I find far worse.
    Happy early birthday! That’s true.

    How were your teenage years like? Oh okay, well then that’s good. What’s mature stupid like?

  10. #30
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Ah I see. I used to be somewhat escapist when I was younger. I had this imaginary world I went to when I slept at night from the time I was 8. I still go there sometimes. Okay, I understand that. How was adolescence like for you as an ENFP?
    Haha, that's cool. Me, I was mostly moody. Escapist too, I locked myself in my room and spent ridiculous amounts of time on the internet (did learn a lot, though, taught myself more than one programming language). I was hyper-focused on my body and felt like an outsider with the physical flaws I felt like I had. I argued a lot with my INTP dad - my sense of ethical fairness versus his sense of logical appropriateness. I liked middle school, even though people seemed cattier, but disliked high school, because it seemed pedantic and restrictive.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    OTOH, I would say that at least teenagers are growing up; the stupidity you see from 18-25 is a whole different kind of stupid. It's a "mature stupid" that I find far worse.
    Yeah that's probably true. I'm in that range right now. It's funny because as a teen I went from feeling like an adult trapped in a child's body to now feeling like a child trapped in an adult body. It's like as a teenager you try to push for all these freedoms and then as an adult you GET all these freedoms and are like, why the fuck did I ask for this?


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