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  1. #101
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Yup, seems simple enough. But it's 'the' way of life for an INTP.
    I have a close friend who's an INTP and she said she wanted to solve the puzzle of life. Do you identify with that?

  2. #102
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    So this guy’s saying that females that get raped are ignorant attention whores. I feel like I’m about to cry knowing that people like this exist. Other people keep going on about how they're special and different from everyone else. I hate being a teenager. Everyone either has a fucked up sense of individuality or a messed up moral compass or both. I'm talking about teenagers living in my town, not exactly "everyone." Anyone else feel this way?
    i realize this was written when you were upset, but here's my advice.

    it's worthwhile to be more rigorous in your explanations. it is difficult and painful to realize the ignorance in the world around you, but I haven't found writing people off as "idiots" or any other simple insult of an explanation to really do me much good in the long term. it only alleviates the pain and shock for a moment. by understanding more of what's going on you can avoid merely reacting to it, you can negotiate with it internally and externally as well. being able to come up with an accurate (enough) assessment of what's going on quickly will also help a lot to keep you from being on the receiving end of abuse when it can be avoided.

    try to find why and how people come to their conclusions. why do you think he thinks what he does?

    why do others support him? why do they give you hell for it? I think you can do better than 'they're idiots'.

    same thing with the snowflake crowd, which hasn't been defined, for one, but people think they are special and unique. so? where's the problem? be specific.

    I realize you're new to this and possibly very alone out there and maybe you just wrote this for some empathetic support. nothing wrong with that. if this is coming across harshly, consider that I'm trying to provide you with a tool that can be developed over time and be there when empathy isn't.

    set aside the initial reaction and focus on the why.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  3. #103
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    I have a close friend who's an INTP and she said she wanted to solve the puzzle of life. Do you identify with that?
    At your age. Yes. Now I realize I always want at least one question unanswered. Because if Id really solve it, I would no longer have anything left to ponder about.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    At your age. Yes. Now I realize I always want at least one question unanswered. Because if Id really solve it, I would no longer have anything left to ponder about.
    Hmm I see, that makes sense.

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    i realize this was written when you were upset, but here's my advice.

    it's worthwhile to be more rigorous in your explanations. it is difficult and painful to realize the ignorance in the world around you, but I haven't found writing people off as "idiots" or any other simple insult of an explanation to really do me much good in the long term. it only alleviates the pain and shock for a moment. by understanding more of what's going on you can avoid merely reacting to it, you can negotiate with it internally and externally as well. being able to come up with an accurate (enough) assessment of what's going on quickly will also help a lot to keep you from being on the receiving end of abuse when it can be avoided.

    try to find why and how people come to their conclusions. why do you think he thinks what he does?

    why do others support him? why do they give you hell for it? I think you can do better than 'they're idiots'.

    same thing with the snowflake crowd, which hasn't been defined, for one, but people think they are special and unique. so? where's the problem? be specific.

    I realize you're new to this and possibly very alone out there and maybe you just wrote this for some empathetic support. nothing wrong with that. if this is coming across harshly, consider that I'm trying to provide you with a tool that can be developed over time and be there when empathy isn't.

    set aside the initial reaction and focus on the why.
    It's not exactly painful but more anger-inducing. I don't think of anyone as idiots though. I think he thinks what he does because of our environment. Most teenagers and a few adults seem to slut-shame without a care, at least where I live. You could easily transfer your anger towards life to females wearing revealing clothes and not get criticized. Many growing teenagers seem to deal with angst and that's their method of coping. Sometimes when people have opinions different than their own, they react with hostility. I never said that anyone was an idiot by the way though maybe I came off that way through my tone. There's nothing wrong with thinking of yourself as unique (though I disagree personally) though the problem lies in people thinking they're superior to others because of their supposed uniqueness and when they think they deserve certain things without working because they're, "special." Oh no, I was just curious on whether people felt the same way as me. Thank you for being honest in your assessment of my problem.

  6. #106
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    Unfortunately, people don't change.
    I disagree actually, although these are just opinions of course. But I can say that as a person...I am wildly different from when I was a child. So much so that those who only knew me as a child dont recognise me.

    I suppose it is more fair to say that some people change and others dont and that this depends entirely upon the person and their own self awareness and willingness to change.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    I disagree actually, although these are just opinions of course. But I can say that as a person...I am wildly different from when I was a child. So much so that those who only knew me as a child dont recognise me.

    I suppose it is more fair to say that some people change and others dont and that this depends entirely upon the person and their own self awareness and willingness to change.
    I was going to write that the majority of people don't change, but the other way sounded more dramatic. :/

  8. #108
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    I was going to write that the majority of people don't change, but the other way sounded more dramatic. :/
    People are rarily willing to change. Habits die hard. It's all pretty much what you mean and quite true. But yeah, saying people don't change, like ever, is a rather pessimistic outlook to have. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #109
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    I disagree actually, although these are just opinions of course. But I can say that as a person...I am wildly different from when I was a child. So much so that those who only knew me as a child dont recognise me.

    I suppose it is more fair to say that some people change and others dont and that this depends entirely upon the person and their own self awareness and willingness to change.
    Agreed.

  10. #110
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    It's not exactly painful but more anger-inducing. I don't think of anyone as idiots though. I think he thinks what he does because of our environment. Most teenagers and a few adults seem to slut-shame without a care, at least where I live. You could easily transfer your anger towards life to females wearing revealing clothes and not get criticized. Many growing teenagers seem to deal with angst and that's their method of coping. Sometimes when people have opinions different than their own, they react with hostility. I never said that anyone was an idiot by the way though maybe I came off that way through my tone. There's nothing wrong with thinking of yourself as unique (though I disagree personally) though the problem lies in people thinking they're superior to others because of their supposed uniqueness and when they think they deserve certain things without working because they're, "special." Oh no, I was just curious on whether people felt the same way as me. Thank you for being honest in your assessment of my problem.
    I like this response. I suppose you didn't call anyone idiots, I was mixing up some other responses in the thread, but there was "snowflake" talk. I don't find using a "perjorative shorthand" to be a problem when it's used as a convenient label, but it can be if there's nothing else behind it, I wasn't entirely sure of what was going on in your head, it's good to get some idea. I'm hesitant to provide support when I don't get a clearer idea of what's going on.

    What sort of place do you live, anyway?

    I didn't have a similar experience as a teenager, for the most part. I grew up in Wash., DC and moved out to a affluent suburb later on. Revealing clothing wasn't an issue, "slut shaming" wasn't a thing that I was ever aware of locally. There are a few kids in the area who are/were pretty 'entitled' in their demeanor.

    In my mind, I think people vary and while they have many baseline traits in common it's seems people are unique to some degree. And there are individuals and groups who legitimately are superior in ability than others. I don't think an awareness or pride of these traits is a bad thing, and is critical in assessing qualifications. Of course, when people think they should get special treatment without doing anything deserving it can be obnoxious, but everyone has their own sense of what they want and what they think they should get or to what degree they find it appropriate to try to get what they want. Ultimately it's the interplay between persons or groups that decides what happens, there isn't a correct answer.

    Expanding your self awareness of your values will help you negotiate with other people who have different values?

    Just my thoughts on that. Good luck with everything.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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