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  1. #11
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    It's broken. D:
    In moments like this, it's always the decision between comfortably miserable in the long term, versus content/happy after being uncomfortably miserable in the short term. Like deciding whether you're going to ease into the cold water, or cannonball into it. It's all up to you, of course, but one of those options is much more appealing to me.

    There's only one quick and easy way out. So isn't it worth that brief discomfort, in the end, to get rid of it quickly?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  2. #12
    your resident asshole
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Sith Lord, of course.



    You have hit the nail on the head. Now drive it in and finish the job. One of the best ways to reduce stress is to address the things that cause it: assignments, exams, work, personal issues, money, etc. Take time every week to examine your priorities and identify which among these is most time-urgent, as well as important in the long run (often different things). Develop a plan for working off priorities in order. Decide how you wll address each one. Revise as needed. Adequate sleep, exercise, social time, etc. are all good for relieving the symptoms of stress, but addressing the sources gets at the root of it. It never goes away, since our lives always have some needs and obligations, but it keeps them pruned back to a manageable quantity.
    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    In moments like this, it's always the decision between comfortably miserable in the long term, versus content/happy after being uncomfortably miserable in the short term. Like deciding whether you're going to ease into the cold water, or cannonball into it. It's all up to you, of course, but one of those options is much more appealing to me.

    There's only one quick and easy way out. So isn't it worth that brief discomfort, in the end, to get rid of it quickly?
    This is all fine and dandy...and I understand the two of you are trying to be motivational, but it's much easier to talk about than it is to actually do something.

    EJCC, I can't tell you how much I've been able to relate to some of your recent blog posts. I am the same way in that I plan to do things, and even get really motivated about them. But then hours pass by and nothing gets done. All of a sudden, it's 3:00am and I haven't done a thing. Panic, anger, and frustration set in as I realize that I haven't made progress on a single thing. Just the other day, I even made a to do list with about ten items on it, ranked in order of importance. I didn't have a single thing to do that day--no school and I don't even have a job. I wake up at noon and excitedly remind myself what it is I am supposed to do. Then I check out YouTube, watch some TV, eat some lunch, do more random things on the Internet. Hell, I'm not even sure what I do all day. The day seems to be gone in a blink of an eye.

    This wasn't an issue in high school because I had to put in almost zero effort to practically ace all of my classes. It's almost insane how ill-prepared I was if you were to look at my GPA. Granted, I didn't take that many difficult classes, but I did take a few.

    Quite frankly, I don't know how I'll ever make it through undergraduate and then graduate school.

    It probably would've been more useful to create a thread about that instead, but I know I would just end up making a stupid rant like I am now.

  3. #13
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    Hmm...I seem to do none of the three. What's the opposite of Jedi?
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  4. #14
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    This is all fine and dandy...and I understand the two of you are trying to be motivational, but it's much easier to talk about than it is to actually do something.
    I know that's true, and I've been through similar things. But with the information that I had -- namely, "I know what needs to be done but I'm too lazy to do it" -- the only answer I could give you in good conscience would be to get up and do it, because you know that you'd feel better afterwards. Any other suggestions would be treating the symptoms and not the root problem.
    EJCC, I can't tell you how much I've been able to relate to some of your recent blog posts. I am the same way in that I plan to do things, and even get really motivated about them. But then hours pass by and nothing gets done. All of a sudden, it's 3:00am and I haven't done a thing. Panic, anger, and frustration set in as I realize that I haven't made progress on a single thing. Just the other day, I even made a to do list with about ten items on it, ranked in order of importance. I didn't have a single thing to do that day--no school and I don't even have a job. I wake up at noon and excitedly remind myself what it is I am supposed to do. Then I check out YouTube, watch some TV, eat some lunch, do more random things on the Internet. Hell, I'm not even sure what I do all day. The day seems to be gone in a blink of an eye.

    This wasn't an issue in high school because I had to put in almost zero effort to practically ace all of my classes. It's almost insane how ill-prepared I was if you were to look at my GPA. Granted, I didn't take that many difficult classes, but I did take a few.

    Quite frankly, I don't know how I'll ever make it through undergraduate and then graduate school.

    It probably would've been more useful to create a thread about that instead, but I know I would just end up making a stupid rant like I am now.
    I have been exactly where you are now, for exactly the same reasons.

    I don't know if this will help, but here are some thoughts:

    1) You aren't doing the work because you don't want to. If you wanted to, you'd be doing it. So, something about it bothers you and upsets you. Do you know what that thing is? Is it different for every class?

    2) Having empty days without much to do is really bad for your productivity, I've found. As the saying goes: Work expands with time allotted. Are there extracurriculars that you'd be interested in taking up? Activities you could do with friends (or not)? Things to give you energy and positive stress?

    3) Have you considered talking to any of your professors? Not necessarily about your stress and time management, but just in general, about assignments and things? I don't know if this would work for you, but in my case, if I know from going to office hours, that a professor likes me and is accepting and friendly and understanding, then I'm more motivated to work hard for them. When I was in your situation, I avoided the work -- and going to class -- to avoid the judgment of my professor. But if I'm reassured, by office hours, that the professor won't judge, then I can ease off the perfectionism and be more comfortable doing the assigned work.

    4) Have you talked to any of your college friends about this? Chances are that a lot of them are going through the same thing, and you guys could help each other through it, and keep each other on task. Surrounding yourself with people who are trying equally hard (or harder), to be productive, is really motivational.

    That's just off the top of my head; I might have more later. And @Coriolis probably has even better suggestions.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #15
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    EJCC, I can't tell you how much I've been able to relate to some of your recent blog posts. I am the same way in that I plan to do things, and even get really motivated about them. But then hours pass by and nothing gets done. All of a sudden, it's 3:00am and I haven't done a thing. Panic, anger, and frustration set in as I realize that I haven't made progress on a single thing. Just the other day, I even made a to do list with about ten items on it, ranked in order of importance. I didn't have a single thing to do that day--no school and I don't even have a job. I wake up at noon and excitedly remind myself what it is I am supposed to do. Then I check out YouTube, watch some TV, eat some lunch, do more random things on the Internet. Hell, I'm not even sure what I do all day. The day seems to be gone in a blink of an eye.
    Your uncertainty about what you actually do suggests you are on some kind of counterproductive auto-pilot, and you need to shut it off and wrest back control of your days. On EJCC's blog, I suggested she take things one day at a time. You might need to live one minute at a time. By that I mean try to be more conscious of exactly what you are doing right this minute. Eating breakfast -good. Reviewing your to-do list -good. Reaching for the mouse to open your browser - bad. Stop. STOP RIGHT NOW! Don't even let yourself start an activity you know is not on the list of things that you decided you want to do today. Better to do nothing until you can bring yourself to do the right thing.

    You have some bad habits to break, and they are best broken by replacing them with good habits. If you fall into unproductive web surfing/youtubing right after getting up, then make your first task of the day something that doesn't even need the computer. Go for a run, clean the kitchen, do an errand, read a book. Disrupt the patterns of behavior that are leading you to fritter away your time so you are always acting through deliberate choice, not reflex. If you are finding it hard to identify these patterns, or even to focus on the present moment on a regular basis, get yourself a small notebook and start writing down everything you do. Eventually (~ 6 weeks) these choices will form a new pattern, and a good habit.

    Another mental trick if you really feel compelled to do unproductive activity A is to put off A just long enough to do one item on your list. Then try to put it off for one more item. See how far you can get. You can deliberately and guiltlessly reward yourself with A after completing some acceptable amount of work. There are lots of tricks like these - find the ones that work for you.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #16
    Glycerine
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    Listen to music

    Go window shopping (look at pretty or amusing things).

    Watch a sitcom/comedy

    Take a nap

    Take a drive somewhere/walk around

    Take a bath

    Meditate

    Read a fun book

    basically do something so you don't focus too much on your thoughts (that's where a lot of stress seems to come from, along with the environment)

    @DisneyGeek: I was similar during all of my undergrad.... I should have flunked all of my classes the way I was approaching my work. Are you sure you are pursuing what you really want to do or is it really what you think you should be doing?

    If nothing else helps, I just thought of how big of a waste of money it would be if I didn't do well.

  7. #17
    your resident asshole
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I know that's true, and I've been through similar things. But with the information that I had -- namely, "I know what needs to be done but I'm too lazy to do it" -- the only answer I could give you in good conscience would be to get up and do it, because you know that you'd feel better afterwards. Any other suggestions would be treating the symptoms and not the root problem.

    I have been exactly where you are now, for exactly the same reasons.
    Thanks for the . I was actually somewhat productive the other day in that I worked a lot on my essays. But my older brother came over for an unexpected visit and ruined my streak.

    I don't know if this will help, but here are some thoughts:

    1) You aren't doing the work because you don't want to. If you wanted to, you'd be doing it. So, something about it bothers you and upsets you. Do you know what that thing is? Is it different for every class?
    Haha. Is this a trick question? I mean, no one likes doing work, do they? The worst for me is writing essays. Whoever invented them needs to suffer. *shakes fist in the air*

    2) Having empty days without much to do is really bad for your productivity, I've found. As the saying goes: Work expands with time allotted. Are there extracurriculars that you'd be interested in taking up? Activities you could do with friends (or not)? Things to give you energy and positive stress?
    Unfortunately, I can't drive and I live off campus, so my options are really limited. Next semester I will have classes every day so we'll see if that helps my productivity.

    3) Have you considered talking to any of your professors? Not necessarily about your stress and time management, but just in general, about assignments and things? I don't know if this would work for you, but in my case, if I know from going to office hours, that a professor likes me and is accepting and friendly and understanding, then I'm more motivated to work hard for them. When I was in your situation, I avoided the work -- and going to class -- to avoid the judgment of my professor. But if I'm reassured, by office hours, that the professor won't judge, then I can ease off the perfectionism and be more comfortable doing the assigned work.
    Hmm...not really. I'm not a very social person and I would have no idea how to approach a professor.

    4) Have you talked to any of your college friends about this? Chances are that a lot of them are going through the same thing, and you guys could help each other through it, and keep each other on task. Surrounding yourself with people who are trying equally hard (or harder), to be productive, is really motivational.

    That's just off the top of my head; I might have more later. And Coriolis probably has even better suggestions.
    Haha. Well I don't exactly have friends and I never opened up to any when I had them. That's not to say I don't talk to people. I just have acquaintances rather than friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Your uncertainty about what you actually do suggests you are on some kind of counterproductive auto-pilot, and you need to shut it off and wrest back control of your days. On EJCC's blog, I suggested she take things one day at a time. You might need to live one minute at a time. By that I mean try to be more conscious of exactly what you are doing right this minute. Eating breakfast -good. Reviewing your to-do list -good. Reaching for the mouse to open your browser - bad. Stop. STOP RIGHT NOW! Don't even let yourself start an activity you know is not on the list of things that you decided you want to do today. Better to do nothing until you can bring yourself to do the right thing.

    You have some bad habits to break, and they are best broken by replacing them with good habits. If you fall into unproductive web surfing/youtubing right after getting up, then make your first task of the day something that doesn't even need the computer. Go for a run, clean the kitchen, do an errand, read a book. Disrupt the patterns of behavior that are leading you to fritter away your time so you are always acting through deliberate choice, not reflex. If you are finding it hard to identify these patterns, or even to focus on the present moment on a regular basis, get yourself a small notebook and start writing down everything you do. Eventually (~ 6 weeks) these choices will form a new pattern, and a good habit.
    Hmm...thanks for the suggestions. Gah! This is actually one of the reasons why writing essays sucks so much. It requires the computer and I can get distracted so easily! With math I can shut out everything in the world until I finish it. You could suggest to write out essays with a pen and paper, but that would take so much longer even without distractions. I edit my papers as I go and write them out of order, so that would be terrible without a computer.

    Another mental trick if you really feel compelled to do unproductive activity A is to put off A just long enough to do one item on your list. Then try to put it off for one more item. See how far you can get. You can deliberately and guiltlessly reward yourself with A after completing some acceptable amount of work. There are lots of tricks like these - find the ones that work for you.
    Again, thanks for the tips! I'll have to try this one soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    DisneyGeek: I was similar during all of my undergrad.... I should have flunked all of my classes the way I was approaching my work. Are you sure you are pursuing what you really want to do or is it really what you think you should be doing?

    If nothing else helps, I just thought of how big of a waste of money it would be if I didn't do well.
    Oh I'm very sure that I'm pursuing the right thing. I didn't really realize it until my last few high school years, but I know I am definitely on the right track.

    I do have the huge fear of never making it, though. It's a very real risk that I am taking and I don't know what I'll do if I don't make it. Actually, I'm sort of friends with this girl who has the same (or a very similar) career goal as me. The thing is, you can tell she works much harder than I do. I know she'll make it all the way, but I'm afraid I'll fall short. My work ethic is terrible.



    Thanks everyone for the responses.

  8. #18
    Glycerine
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    ahhh... the fear of failing/perfection can undercut the the end all goal. In a way, if you know that you didn't try your best and you end up not making it, you can always use the "I didn't try my best" as a cop out (because doing one's best and not making can mean one is not good enough but it's usually not the case) but then then the "what ifs" start popping up. It sounds like an element of self-sabotaging to ward off that fear.

  9. #19
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    Haha. Is this a trick question? I mean, no one likes doing work, do they?
    Where I was coming from with that, was that you should be able to get some enjoyment out of the work if you're interested in the subject. For example, there ought to be some motivation to do the essays if they're on interesting topics. The essays that always get me, are the ones on topics that I couldn't care less about.

    I mean, yes, all schoolwork is annoying to a degree. But it's a different kind of annoying, if you dislike absolutely everything about it. (Or if you're motivated by something besides the work itself; for example, in my blog, how I would avoid my Arabic work because it reminded me of class time, when class time was so traumatic.)
    Unfortunately, I can't drive and I live off campus, so my options are really limited. Next semester I will have classes every day so we'll see if that helps my productivity.

    Haha. Well I don't exactly have friends and I never opened up to any when I had them. That's not to say I don't talk to people. I just have acquaintances rather than friends.
    Well, damn! Sounds like, as an extrovert, I'm probably the wrong person to be advising you on this. I read all of those things and immediately thought "No wonder she's sitting around, at her computer, not doing any work -- she's always alone at her place without classes or work to go to or friends to hang out with!" But that's because I get energy and motivation from 1. leading a busy, faster-paced life, 2. spending time talking to people and doing things with them, and 3. having a shorter period of time to get work done, to force me to be more efficient. But if you're very introverted, then you're likely not the same way at all.
    Hmm...not really. I'm not a very social person and I would have no idea how to approach a professor.
    Simple -- just go to their office hours and ask questions. It doesn't need to feel social. My trips to office hours with professors have always been fairly focused and task-oriented. But they like that, because it shows that you're focused and motivated and that you care.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #20
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    if you have a smart phone or spend a lot of time on your computer I'd suggest downloading Astrid, which is a planner that reminds you of when you need to start tasks in order to get them done in adequate time... it's a chrome extension on the computer that syncs with your phone so that you're kind of forced to stay on task when you need to get things done

    otherwise I'd suggest getting a speed bag... I always enjoyed a good session of punching things to loud and obnoxious music in college... it was a good excuse to quit thinking for a while
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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