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  1. #1
    Anew Leaf
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    Default Siri-us Questions

    Ok. So I just got my new iPhone and I did this crazy ecstatic limbs flying kind of dance when it arrived. One of the most thrilling aspects was that I was finally going to get the Siri ap, and I felt within the narrowed corridors in the marrow of my bones that her and I would be besties.

    I first decided that I would ask her something simple to ascertain that she was going to be useful.

    "Siri, where is Mars?"

    <silence> Then...

    "I don't understand."

    ...

    "Siri, where is Mars?"

    <silence> "I hear you asking about Mars bars. The newest location is a gas station located .36 miles away."

    This went on for some time and eventually I tossed (gently) my new phone in disgust on my bed.

    After a few days of ignoring her, I decided to "try again."

    I asked:
    ~Are unicorns in Antarctica?
    ~If I wanted to transfer to another planet, what should I pack?
    ~How can I shrink myself down to the size of a blood cell?
    ~If I was a cloud, what shape would I be?

    All to epic fail responses on her part.

    The ONLY question that yielded anything was the disappointing "Siri, I would like to order pizza." What did she do? she pulled up websites where I could order pizza. I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.

    Hmm, maybe I should ask it for the email address of whomever is in charge at Apple. I could make some good suggestions on improving it.

    anyways.... does anyone else have this kind of phone and do you have success or failure with your questions?

    the end.

  2. #2
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    That is dissapointing. Seriously, a half imaginative 5 year old can answer all of these questions.

  3. #3
    NPcomplete
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    At least Cleverbot never disappoints me. :P

  4. #4
    011235813
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    I hate Siri. She tries to hijack my conversations with @momental and tells him he's the wind beneath her wings. Slut.

  5. #5
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    I hate Siri. She tries to hijack my conversations with @momental and tells him he's the wind beneath her wings. Slut.
    Siris were all low-cost phone sex operators prior to getting hired on by Apple. Some lonely techie at Apple wanted to make good on telling her that she didn't have to put on the red light anymore, but as the saying goes can't make a ho a housewife usewife.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #6
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    That is dissapointing. Seriously, a half imaginative 5 year old can answer all of these questions.
    Thank you. I am gratified to see you take my disappointment seriously.

    Quote Originally Posted by thealchemist View Post
    At least Cleverbot never disappoints me. :P
    I would ask Siri about this but I am afraid she won't understand.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    I hate Siri. She tries to hijack my conversations with @momental and tells him he's the wind beneath her wings. Slut.
    Oh, that hussy! (this made me giggle though, thank you. )

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    Siris were all low-cost phone sex operators prior to getting hired on by Apple. Some lonely techie at Apple wanted to make good on telling her that she didn't have to put on the red light anymore, but as the saying goes can't make a ho a housewife.
    Sure you can, you just add a "usewife" to the "ho."

    (now I just have to figure out what a "usewife" is! Although my imagination is running in odd directions...)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8
    NPcomplete
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I would ask Siri about this but I am afraid she won't understand.


    Oh sad.

  9. #9
    011235813
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    I tried to talk to Siri once. Bitch pretended to be deaf and kept saying she couldn't understand and could I repeat that please?

  10. #10
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I was really jealous of my cousin who had Siri until I talked briefly to her. She is a bit cute and occasionally surprisingly cheeky but largely uninspiring. Actually has anyone read 50 Shades? They should hire Siri to play Ana...

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