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  1. #11
    Ginkgo
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    I enjoy going alone to find people.

    /creepy

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I think it's probably more common for extroverts to be totally unwilling to do something like this alone, but I'm not sure that it's totally an introvert/extrovert thing. Is it related to functions? Is it just a very individual thing? I'd be interested to hear what you think or your own views or experiences.
    I dont really think that it is, I'm pretty boarder line but definitely the extrovert side of the line, sometimes I'll go to things alone because I'm aware there will be people there and can speak to anyone and meet new people easily. That's a different thing to taking along older friends and the dynamic is quite different.

    Although one thing that I'd come back to is this idea that its "all about the people I'm with", really? I mean if you've paid out good money for a particular event or entrance fee for an attraction it remains about the people you're with? I'm not sure about that, I know that I've choosen to do stuff alone because I'm pretty aware if someones interest is flagging or they've had enough, this is usually way before I've started to feel that way. Its not really an anxiety or worry about being a good "host" to my "guest" friend, but I understand that too, its more about a sort of selfish streak, which I think is fair, if you've parted with hard earned cash or gone to an attraction you will not be able to see everyday.

    I have a couple of examples of this, one was a music gig that my friend wanted to see the first act and wasnt fussed on the second act, I knew they wanted to go sooner than I did. Also at gigs, if there's lots of things to see and do besides spectate at the band, as I find there is these days, I will want to go try out different food stands or look for t-shirts etc. and that might seem like a distraction to whoever I'm with. Another example is museams or similar attractions, you can speedily move through them and say its "done" or, like me, you may want to take time, listen to all the audio accompaniment, walk the trail or exhibition twice, return to favourite displays, sit a while and take in the atmosphere and I've totally gotten the "are we done yet?" vibe from people I've gone to these things with.

    The only time which I think is an exception is dinning out at restaurants, I dont know why this should be different but I'm superstitious about eating alone sometimes and I'll sometimes think that people pass judgements on you eating alone.

  3. #13

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    I think if socialising is the goal then the attraction will be a distraction or diversion from the goal of socialising. Even going to a sports event together you'll have to divide your attention between socialising and the main event.

  4. #14
    garbage
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    Ain't so bad. Either I sit in the back of the room so that I can focus on the lecture/concert/etc. but still be able see what's going on in the room. That'll sometimes open the door for me to mingle a bit if I have the opportunity/need.

    I have absolutely no problem going alone to meetings for organizations that I'm introducing myself to for the first time.

    In fact, going alone to certain things sometimes forces me out of my 'comfort zone' (not that I'm uncomfortable, but having a friend with you always makes things easier) so I prefer it simply because of personal growth and increased opportunity.

    Also depends on the thing I'm doing. Travelling alone isn't so great, but with meetups and concerts I can 'take or leave' other people.

  5. #15
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I think if socialising is the goal then the attraction will be a distraction or diversion from the goal of socialising. Even going to a sports event together you'll have to divide your attention between socialising and the main event.
    It's more about shared experience and not socializing. It's nice to bond with people over new memories together, and it gives things to talk about and reference later.

  6. #16
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    Oh, i am really ok with going out alone. Either i just want to be solitary, i want to people watch or i want to find new interesting personalities to communicate with.

    Lots of other reasons too, just the three i thought of first.
    That being said i do not do it often, but i have and it's really no biggie.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  7. #17
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I love doing this! How else will you be able to expand your social circle and create new friendships that aren't necessarily intertwined with your previous social circles? Also, great way to meet new women D:

    Plus, there is just the pure RUSH of going in to a new place balls to the wall not knowing what to expect and getting caught up in the rapture of the group dynamic (like dancing with 70,000 possible new friends at an AWESOME event!)
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    I often see movies alone and a couple friends have later asked me "Why didn't you say anything?! I would have gone with you!" As though going to a movie alone is a bad thing. I like going to see movies by myself because I can focus on the movie and not get distracted by the din of chatter.

    ...

    Psychologists and psychiatrists have recognized disorders like "Avoidant Personality Disorder" and "Antisocial Personality Disorder", and people at large use terms like 'hermit' and 'recluse' to describe people who prefer to be alone. There are no such diagnoses for people who are the complete opposite. They are celebrated as 'socialites' and "social butterflies".

    We are conditioned to believe that being alone will make you feel lonely. Being alone is 'bad'. Being alone in thought is 'unproductive', because there's often nothing to show anyone else for all that time spent pondering.

    For concerts it depends on the genre of music. Rock, pop and such I wouldn't go to alone, but then again I probably wouldn't go at all if not for someone else asking me. I go to philharmonic orchestra performances by myself once or twice a year because I don't know anyone else who would want to go.

    I've never gone to a theatrical performance on my own. Somehow going to one alone just doesn't feel right. Nor does going to a sporting event alone. I have gone to sporting events alone but I probably won't go to sporting events alone ever again.

    I have gone to museums and the zoo alone but I would have preferred to go with someone. When I go to a museum or zoo I want to see everything and I want to take my time; most people I know wouldn't have the patience. Although I would prefer to go to these sorts of venues with someone I don't like going if they're busy overall. For example the last time I went to the zoo in early April I had forgotten that most of the schools were out for Easter break. As a result the place was filled to the brim with noisy little brats. It was an awful experience. If I go again I think I'll go in the winter, when the brisk air will encourage the parents of all the little Mackenzies and Addisons of the world to stay inside and away from me.

    (And the Siberian tigers prefer the cold. )


    I've travelled alone but I would prefer to go with someone.

  9. #19
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    I don't like it at all, both because it feels awkward and because most of the experience is about the social aspect for me, so it kinda defeats the point.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with people who like it, though. Just different preferences.
    -end of thread-

  10. #20
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    This is really interesting because it doesn't seem introvert/extrovert dependent at all. Or, intro/extro have various reasons for liking or not liking to do things alone, but they vary...

    For the record, I used to have much more tolerance for traveling alone, and sometimes so alone that I'd barely speak to anyone all day. Now I get lonely if it's for more than a few days, and I'd much rather be able to meet someone in the evening at least. At concerts, at least rock concerts - I can get a bit lonely/self-conscious when hanging around waiting for the band to start, but once they're on it's totally fine, and I might get to scream and yell more if I'm on my own and less inhibited.

    For something like an art gallery, being alone is totally fine. Being with friends who have a similar exhibition-visiting style is fine too. Or splitting up in the gallery, then meeting up later to discuss - in some ways that's the ideal.

    I guess I do distinguish between "socializing" and going to events. They can be combined, but I guess ideally I like a simple environment for socializing (ie. coffee/drinks/meal.) So that we can talk comfortably. Events for me are mainly because of the pleasure of what the event is itself, though socializing at the same time can be good too.
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