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  1. #31
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    No, I don't really hold grudges. Mostly because I'm far too lazy to keep up the kind of strong emotions that grudges require.

    Also, I think that the ability to not hold a grudge stems from the same thing that makes people more easily able to remove themselves from bad situations (or to detach), so they're related, not contradictory impulses.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  2. #32
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Totally not.

    Some people deserve it but I just don't have the energy.

    Which is not to say we're friends... I just remove them from the circle of people I care about without holding onto any anger about it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #33

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Totally not.

    Some people deserve it but I just don't have the energy.

    Which is not to say we're friends... I just remove them from the circle of people I care about without holding onto any anger about it.
    That is what I do sometimes. Sometimes I just move past it. It depends when interactions stop, if I have a falling out and then have no further interaction the feeling goes to ambivalence. If I continue interacting then it can move back to friendship. Depends...

  4. #34
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    That is what I do sometimes. Sometimes I just move past it. It depends when interactions stop, if I have a falling out and then have no further interaction the feeling goes to ambivalence. If I continue interacting then it can move back to friendship. Depends...
    Yeah 98% of the time I just forgive...
    I've only just recently removed a couple people and it's well deserved.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigerlily View Post
    Are you someone who can't let go of things, or are you able/willing to let bygones be bygones

    Also, what type(s) are likely to be grudge holders?
    I don't hold many grudges. I just let shit go, cause it's a waste of my time to be angry.
    However, if someone perpetually does things to become an inconvenience in my life I'll remember that. I'll avoid them and will be short with them. Other reactions I have with them will be based on the situation.

    e.g. my mom would take everything I said and remember it so she could bring it up later in an argument to prove a point. I used to talk to her about things like who I had a crush on and other personal topics. Now I wont even tell her what I bought at the grocery store and will not say a word to her unless she asks a question. It's not a grudge as much as I don't like being attacked about every aspect of my life [like how I bought swiss cheese instead of gouda for my fucking apartment] and realize not speaking with her and cutting her out of my life reduces this negativity.

  6. #36
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    If there is no closure or I can't understand why someone did something, then I hold notorious grudges. I have been like that w/ 4 people (anywhere from 1-5 years) but eventually let go once I processed it and forced my own closure. Other than that, I can let go and forgive very easily.

  7. #37
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tigerlily View Post
    Are you someone who can't let go of things, or are you able/willing to let bygones be bygones

    Also, what type(s) are likely to be grudge holders?
    I try to let bygones be bygones. It is possible for me to hold grudges, however.

    The less the person is in my life, the more I tend to just let things go.

    I can forgive, but cannot forget (even if my life depended on forgetting.) So... I may have forgiven you, but I will probably remember what you did until I've grown old and start suffering from memory loss.

    It is really a pain having to remember these things, lol. But I think for me, it still serves a purpose.

  8. #38
    wallflowe r🥀 DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    I never have been good at holding grudges, even with my siblings I get over it in an hour or two and we go back to normal lol. It's just healthier to let things go than to dwell on it forever. It usually just takes a bit of reflecting to put things in perspective & then I feel a lot better. If the problem is recurring or they do something that seriously hurts me, I'll brood about it longer & avoid the person unless they're going to make amends.
    I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free...

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  9. #39
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    No. Unfortunately.
    In that which is night to all things, therein the self-subjugated remains awake; but where all else is awake, that is night for the knower of the self.

  10. #40
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    Hell yes I am

    and even if I do forgive, I never forget

    To be fair, it's REALLY hard to actually upset me (unless you go with an obviously touchy topic like my gender identity) so anyone who manages to make me hold a grudge against them deserves it.

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