User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 50

  1. #11
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    17,903

    Default

    Very rarely lifelong grudge. Yes. Normally, i am very quick to forgive.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    In the past when I was hurt I would continue to analyze and obsess about it, but not dislike the person for it. Now I can more readily come up with a few explanations for why something happened, and so it is easier to let go. I can end up understanding some plausible explanations for why someone did something and so do not tend to get angry, but I also am not likely to forget. Because I can like people easily without trusting them, I tend to remember hurts without feeling vindictive. It may be a little different way of viewing things. I end up thinking very few, if any, behaviors are actually personal, but are more about the other person's life than mine.

    To address another question in the thread - I think grudge holding can be based on fear. I do have fear of not being able to rely on people if something happened and I needed support, and so that creates something of an issue. I like the idea of self-reliance, but don't tend to fool myself into thinking it is actually possible because we even need the receptionist at the doctor's office to be cooperative enough to schedule an appointment, etc.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #13
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,879

    Default

    Not really. I do forgive but don't forget. Bygones may be bygones but there also comes a time to discontinue relationships that bring more harm than good.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Snoopy22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w1 so/sp
    Socionics
    INTp
    Posts
    359

    Default

    Depends, forgiving someone for something they did does not mean forgetting their actions so you can keep the situation or action you found incorrect from happening again (at least to yourself or people you know).

  5. #15
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    I have trouble holding a grudge, except in a few very special cases I've noticed with myself (where I've felt extremely betrayed by someone after flexing and flexing a great deal for them). The thing is that all the other person would have to do would be to apologize sincerely and I'd be over it.

    I typically cannot force myself to maintain a grudge, which is frustrating when I feel I should try to hold onto anger in order to protect myself adequately in the future from people who have done me harm. It also means that people I really dislike parts of, I still naturally drift into being on good terms with if there is no overt conflict to partake of... again, kind of annoying. It's not that I support some of what they do or say, I just typically have a laid-back approach to things until an actual direct problem arises.

    As far as types: I'm not sure. I know some ISFJs who are very forgiving and others who hold grudges. My dad, an ESTP, you'd think would be more flexible... yet he is the worst grudge-holder I know. He will not talk to family or friends for years after an argument. So I don't think it's just type, I think it's a matter of type and upbringing (past experience) and maturity.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #16

    Default

    No, not really. I tend to get really angry for a short amount of time, I can't maintain it.

  7. #17

  8. #18
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7W6 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    4,797

    Default

    Ummm.... touched on this last night.

    Finding it hard to put into words now though.

    err...so i rarely hold on to anger for a long time, hurt longer, but anger quickly goes.

    I do find it easy to forgive (and almost anything) if i feel the person is truely sorry and wants to change. The catch is i am very good at telling if people are being genuine so if you wrong me and want to make it up, you'd better be real.

    I would also help pretty much anyone who really needed it (even a hitherto sworn enemy-gadzooks! ) , i'm a sucker for a sob story...again tho...with the being real.

    I can get arsy in a heated argument, i can say vile things which i later regret, i usually try to work on the impact it has had afterwards...dosn't happen often.


    EDIT: I don't think i do hold grudges, i'm fairly good at letting go of negative emotions and attachments now... life has thrown a lot of curveballs, i have become and artful dodger.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  9. #19
    ... Tyrinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    649 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,173

    Default

    Yeah, sometimes, though not always voluntarily.

    The bad ones are often something that pisses me off so much that it becomes like... an unconscious grudge. Like a tainted perception, something I literally can't forget or let go of.

    Ex. There was this one kid in my childhood who broke my favorite toy. I haven't seen him since I was like... 10, but I still remember his name, his face, what he broke, and the monetary and sentimental value it held. Hell, I don't even care about the toy anymore, but I just can't let go of it, and the grudge pops into my mind from time to time.

    Thankfully, that doesn't happen very often, and most grudges I hold are just minor annoyances that I hold onto for a while to make a point, and I let go of after a few days.

    So basically, yeah, I do, and sometimes I enjoy every minute of it.

    But, as with all things, it really can depend entirely on my mood when the perceived slight occurs.
    ...

  10. #20
    ndovjtjcaqidthi
    Guest

    Default

    As long as it takes..

    I have no trouble holding a grudge. And revenge has a sweet taste.

Similar Threads

  1. Height/How tall are you?
    By niffer in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 360
    Last Post: 06-20-2016, 02:44 PM
  2. What are you wearing right now?
    By Sartorial in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 04-29-2016, 02:28 PM
  3. Why are you here?
    By rhinosaur in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 05-19-2011, 06:08 AM
  4. are you their?
    By eleph ingratiate in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-22-2007, 04:34 PM
  5. Happiness, Children, and Are you that one girl?
    By Wolf in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 66
    Last Post: 05-18-2007, 03:53 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO