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  1. #11
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    this is my new favorite thread.
    *subscribes*
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #12
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    This review on Amazon isn't sarcastic, but it's disturbingly entertaining, nonetheless.

    BACON STRIPS Adhesive Bandages



    5.0 out of 5 stars z'man cheirusainu April 24, 2008
    By My Uncle Stu VINE™ VOICE
    Color Name:Bacon
    Durability: 5.0 out of 5 stars Educational: 5.0 out of 5 stars Fun: 5.0 out of 5 stars



    I picked these up on an impulse, tired of sporting Dora and Strawberry Shortcake bandages over my manly shaving-related mutilations. Just an impulse, good for a few chuckles, but I'm glad I did.

    I like these bacon bandages. I love bacon, it makes everything tastier. You ever have scallops wrapped in bacon? Or, where I grew up, we had the francheezie, a quarter-pound dog, split up and filled with cheese, and wrapped with bacon. I love the idea of garnishing myself with bacon, and all it symbolizes. To my kosher cousins, the bacon serves as a slight, a defiant declaration that I will not be laden down by dogma and delusion. To my vegan brothers and sisters, the bacon is a visible symbol of my dishonor, a white-meat scarlet letter confessing my lack of grit: "I'm with you in spirit, comrades, but the flesh is weak."

    I'm so fond of these band-aids that it's a little bit of a downer when my wounds heal up. I eager anticipate paper cuts. I'm actually contemplating getting a bacon tattoo. Let me know what you think.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  3. #13
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Some people have too much free time...
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  4. #14
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    this is my new favorite thread.
    *subscribes*
    I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
    http://www.amazon.com/Images-SI-Inc-...ds=uranium+ore
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  5. #15
    Junior Member midnight rambler's Avatar
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    This is one of my favorite amazon review items. The mythical wolf shirt that has over 2,000 reviews. Check it out guys

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-T...owViewpoints=1

  6. #16
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    You might be interested in the Least Helpful blog-- Daily dispatches from the Internet's worst reviewers.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  7. #17
    garbage
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    Quote Originally Posted by midnight rambler View Post
    This is one of my favorite amazon review items. The mythical wolf shirt that has over 2,000 reviews. Check it out guys

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-T...owViewpoints=1
    I had to share this. Popped up when I viewed that item.



    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    You might be interested in the Least Helpful blog-- Daily dispatches from the Internet's worst reviewers.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    On that vein, I would like to share this beauty:

    http://theworstthingsforsale.com/
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  9. #19
    your resident asshole
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    This is a brilliant thread idea!

    $850 60 lb wheel of cheese!


    Competition disaster (oval) - 2/5 stars

    I am still recovering from this weekend when I was the laughing stock of the entire Mariposa County Cheese Rolling 'Rollapalooza'. I purchased this cheese "WHEEL" as a last minute replacement for my trusty 75 lbs Pecorino Wheel which got defaced by local youths. Still, I was looking forward to chasing a lighter "WHEEL" down the hill - this would give me more dynamic control over the direction of the roll. On the morning of the competition, imagine my distress when, dressed proudly in my regional colours and nearly-new cleats, I unwrapped the package to what turns out to be an OVAL-SHAPED cheese. This is NOT A WHEEL. Repeat: NOT A WHEEL. It is OVAL. Needless to say, you can imagine the rest (which was broadcast live on local TV AND one internet channel - note: the comments below the video are disgusting and defamatory). So why the two stars? As I bundled downhill behind the bouncing OVAL, arch-rivals roaring past in mirth, some chunks dislodged and the cheese itself was creamy and ripe. This is not a competition cheese. AVOID. If anyone wants it, I abandoned it in rage at the bottom of Greeley Hill, Mariposa County on Sunday afternoon (from the 49 North, take the 132 East). It should still be okay.

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