Frozen panties don't really shatter into a million pieces.
When I was in first grade my great grandmother passed away. I found a tiny telescope about the size of a lipstick tube in her house. When I held it up to a light, I saw a naked picture of a pinup girl inside. Like the 20's version of a ViewMaster. My parents didn't realize what it was and let me have it. Thinking I really had something cool, I brought it to school and passed it around the lunch table. It was confiscated by my teacher, followed by my usual trip to the principal's office.
By the time I reached fourth grade I had a lengthy permanent record. So when I asked to go to the nurse, the teacher replied with irritation, "no, you look fine." As I'm taking the walk of shame back to my desk, I trip and fall on the big wooden calendar where the days hang on brass hooks. Ouch. I calmly unhooked my hand from Tuesday and walked back to the teacher where I allowed the blood from my hand to drip on her desk, and I asked "may I go to the nurse now?"
When I was like 5, my friend convinced me to throw pebbles at ducks that were nearby. None of them were hurt. It wasn't our intention, anyway; we just wanted to see what they would do. I can't imagine myself ever doing something that could hurt an animal now. I like them much more than people.
I also remember telling my parents that my kindergarten teacher hit me because she made me mad. I didn't know what a big deal it was. I just needed a way to convince my parents to listen to my side, instead of assuming I was always in the wrong. She didn't get in trouble or anything, obviously.
Oh, and in first grade I convinced various friends to sneak into the classroom after school (while we waited for the bus) and move these paper bears (hard to explain) to make it look like the super good kids were in trouble.
Also, this one girl pissed me off (she threw mud at me on two separate occasions and generally acted like an oversensitive toddler), so I made up this intricate and detailed series of stories about how she was obsessed with a video game that was for babies, how she brought it to school, that she frequently sang the theme song, etc. Of course, none of this ever actually happened.
I wasn't much of a risk-taker as a kid, but I was pretty spiteful.
over the blackened moon
I'll carry you away
through the planets we fly
I took a rock and was playing with it somehow. I think I was trying to play catch or something. And I threw the rock. Just anywhere. And it landed on the window beside me. I mean in. And completely shattered it. Like I didn't know that could happen. I felt immediately guilty and wanted to die, but didn't know what to do. So I just ran around pretending I didn't do it. When my parents found out, of course they were angry. But they didn't punish me. Looking back on that, I'm still baffled they didn't do it. I was old enough to know not to do that, and yet...
I also used to be really afraid of people that weren't my mother as a child. Or just other people in general. So to avoid embarrassment I'd go through a lot just to not interact with them. One time I fell down the slide and a little old lady asked me, "Are you okay, little teapot?" And I just freaked out. Who was this lady? Why was she here? I just ran away. After staring at her a lot, of course.
When I was 7, I received a pretty realistic looking toy pistol as a gift. Being the idiot I was, I decided that I would bring it to school and have some fun with it. During recess, I took the toy gun and pointed it at some girl in my class as a joke. It somehow did not occur to me that she would run away screaming for her life . I got suspended for that.