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Thread: Be yourself?

  1. #1
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Default Be yourself?

    Can someone explain this statement to me?

    What do people mean when they say be yourself? I assume those who say it are trying to induce a level of calm into you which falls in line with personality traits that they, as the speaker, most readily associate with you as a person.

    But we all know that's bollocks right? Surely a person is not so easily defined as the most commonly appearing traits which others feel they have observed from you?

    I suppose the true intent is this idea of natural or inherency; that we all have some tendencies to which we are inclined and therefore we should make use of these instead of trying to be something we're not.....whatever that might be. Also alongside this is the idea of not trying to appeal to others, but that is also a multifaecited point with many flaws and benefits.

    But sometimes doing what appears to be natural does us more harm than good, so where does the true judgement lie?
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  2. #2
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    lol. funny how you interpret that. i don't think anyone's telling you to be the way they percieve you to be. that defeats the purpose of the advice. they're saying to find your own factors/comfort zone. Just do what you want, don't overthink everyone else's opinions, and let the chips fall where they may. etc.

  3. #3
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    lol. funny how you interpret that. i don't think anyone's telling you to be the way they percieve you to be. that defeats the purpose of the advice. they're saying to find your own factors/comfort zone. Just do what you want, don't overthink everyone else's opinions, and let the chips fall where they may. etc.
    But if im brought into the world and influenced to value what others say over myself, how then will I ever know what it is that defines me as an individual?

    It's a difficult tie to break and I dont know how. Being as how it is akin to me as drawing breath is to most.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  4. #4
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    But if im brought into the world and influenced to value what others say over myself, how then will I ever know what it is that defines me as an individual?

    It's a difficult tie to break and I dont know how. Being as how it is akin to me as drawing breath is to most.
    Hmm. It's just as difficult for me to be that way. I think I have a vague idea of it, so maybe you have a vague idea in the other way.

    I guess I'm the wrong person to answer this.

  5. #5
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Hmm. It's just as difficult for me to be that way. I think I have a vague idea of it, so maybe you have a vague idea in the other way.

    I guess I'm the wrong person to answer this.
    It's ok, it was nice of you to answer. I like to hear others opinions....as you may have noticed.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  6. #6
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    Goodness I was very ready to type a nice long post against this phrase but...I don't think its helpful to pull it apart too much. Its less than it seems maybe.

    The only reason for its existence might be to have something to say when a friend/family member is entering an important new social situation. It acts as a sort of code-phrase. Instead of having to say "be confident", "dont let it phase you" or "I think you can handle the situation as long as you remain calm" we say "just be yourself!" Its relaxing, and friendly, and assures the person that their themselves are up to the task.

    I guess its another social nicety, like saying "how are you?" to people even when you don't care. It seems to have more of a function than "how are you" though. Problems arise only when we take the phrase literally. Its an idiom.
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

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    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    When someone says it to me, I take it to mean "you're a nice/decent person, so don't be fake [in whatever particular context this may be - ie. a party, or a job interview] or try to be something that you're not."
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  8. #8
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    You're over-analyzing, guy.

    Just be yourself.


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    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
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    People don't often say that to me, but I have said it to others. I say it usually when someone is obsessing over what they should do or what will happen in a certain situation. I feel that someone is more likely to be successful (in whatever) if they do not worry about such things and just go forth as naturally as they can. I give that advice, but I have the same hangups. I think I have difficulty being myself around people because I'm too self-critical and I get really conscious and analytical about everything I say and do. Combine that with a strong ability to read other people and I barely have time to relax and focus on my basic instincts. It's a mess, really. I'm not sure if I made any sense just now.
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    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    I'm myself all the time. People usually tell me to tone it down and be less myself. :P

    They mean that you shouldn't misrepresent yourself by trying to play to the crowd instead of being genuine. You'll be all fake an awkward. It's simpler to do what comes naturally.
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



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