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  1. #11
    Member Cartesian Theater's Avatar
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    So if you're a really wimpy person, and I take sexual advantage of you, steal your money and then regularly verbally abuse you... it's all cool, and you should just accept yourself for being wimpy? Just making sure we're on the same page here. I don't think I should change my pushy/selfish nature, right?

  2. #12
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    It's just a personal preference. Maybe people are too interested in what their critics say. Like for example one guy might call you a wimp, another might say you're sensitive and kind, but you remember the one who judged your personality in the negative.

    Some people do not respect passive people, or loathe passivity in themselves, or whatever. But there are people who don't have a problem with it.

    I mean there's something everyone dislikes.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cartesian Theater View Post
    So if you're a really wimpy person, and I take sexual advantage of you, steal your money and then regularly verbally abuse you... it's all cool, and you should just accept yourself for being wimpy? Just making sure we're on the same page here. I don't think I should change my pushy/selfish nature, right?
    We should take sexual advantage of wimpy people? I don't find wimps very interesting to take sexual advantage of. I'd rather take sexual advantage of a really dominant man and show him what for, like look yeah, you don't like the shoe on the other foot, eh?

    I think this is an interesting point in your otherwise expected post.

  4. #14
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    Also note that I don't do the above, I don't take sexual advantage of anyone, I prefer to have sex with people I actually like, so no one be like "OH NOES MARMIE IZ BLACK WIDOW!!!111"

    Kthnx.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    We should take sexual advantage of wimpy people? I don't find wimps very interesting to take sexual advantage of. I'd rather take sexual advantage of a really dominant man and show him what for, like look yeah, you don't like the shoe on the other foot, eh?

    I think this is an interesting point in your otherwise expected post.
    Hellz no, taking advantage of wimpy people is boring and tedious. I was just trying to get into the spirit of being totally uninterested in personal growth.

  6. #16
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    It's just a personal preference. Maybe people are too interested in what their critics say. Like for example one guy might call you a wimp, another might say you're sensitive and kind, but you remember the one who judged your personality in the negative.

    Some people do not respect passive people, or loathe passivity in themselves, or whatever. But there are people who don't have a problem with it.

    I mean there's something everyone dislikes.
    I think this is really a lot of it. Any strength can be phrased as a weakness and the other way around. I've even read that the things that interest people initially about others are the things that are going to make them crazy later.

    "He's so determined!" --> "He never has fun!"
    "He's so fun loving!" --> "He's so lazy!"


    Quote Originally Posted by Cartesian Theater View Post
    So if you're a really wimpy person, and I take sexual advantage of you, steal your money and then regularly verbally abuse you... it's all cool, and you should just accept yourself for being wimpy? Just making sure we're on the same page here. I don't think I should change my pushy/selfish nature, right?
    I don't think most people who are labeled as wimpy end up being raped and verbally abused. I imagine a pushy person could have that happen to them too, actually.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurie View Post
    I think this is really a lot of it. Any strength can be phrased as a weakness and the other way around. I've even read that the things that interest people initially about others are the things that are going to make them crazy later.

    "He's so determined!" --> "He never has fun!"
    "He's so fun loving!" --> "He's so lazy!"




    I don't think most people who are labeled as wimpy end up being raped and verbally abused. I imagine a pushy person could have that happen to them too, actually.
    Wouldn't a pushy person be more likely to fight them off or say no? Or does being wimpy/pushy have nothing to do with how you interact with the world at all?

  8. #18
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    Being 'wimpy' has its survival benefits. You're more likely to be good at making lemonade out of lemons, to flex and adapt to your situation, for instance, whereas a pushy person who's used to fighting for what they want are more likely to be distraught in a situation where they *have* to make lemonade.

    To take that extreme rape example: if for instance in this situation your only way out is bide your time and appear compliant, then being a 'wimp' might actually be something that a) saves your life and b) lets you live that life afterwards with less scars, potentially. Someone who cannot make that click at that time because it's not something she's ever had to do before (and lets face it, it's not exactly the best moment to learn a new skill) is likely to a) be a nuisance and aggravate the aggressor (making him perhaps get rid of her sooner) and b) psychologically more traumatized if she does survive.
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  9. #19
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    As somebody who is extremely flexible, compassionate and good at making the most of a situation, I don't consider myself wimpy at all. I used to be, as a child, and it got me (what a coincidence) physically, verbally and sexually abused by people around me. So I (Oh my god, the horror) took it upon myself to grow as a person and learn from my mistakes, and I (yes, believe it or not) am no longer wimpy. I am considered by most to be strong, confident and self-reliant.

    I still consider my ability to be flexible, compassionate and good at using the resources at hand to be incredibly valuable, and an irreplaceable part of my personality. Do I lump in with that my weakness of character, tendency to comply and lack of self value? No. These may be related to my personality in some way, but they do not define me, and so I changed them. I improved myself. Is it such a hard concept to understand that a compassionate person can be strong willed?

    Side note: @Amargith: I have been raped, because somebody took advantage of my tendency to be compliant and compassionate. The only reason I got away from my abuser in the end was because I found the strength within myself to stop complying, even if it meant getting hurt. Random people being raped in the alley might be better off if they do nothing (which even most strong willed people will do 99% of the time in that scenario), but if you look at the statistics, it's far more likely that you will be raped by either a family member, friend or partner. And in that situation, being weak won't help you in the slightest.

    You should also understand that the act of rape is almost inconsequential compared to the psychological trauma which results from it. People with a weak personality will have serious, lifelong psychological damage from rape which can impact anything from their ability to interact with people to their physical health. I recovered with almost no lasting damage from my experience, simply because I refused to let myself be controlled by my past. I refused to be weak any longer. It is NEVER a useful trait for a woman (or a man) to be what most people define as a 'wimp.' The important thing is that people like me have recognized this and evolved past our basic tendency to comply unnecessarily, which means that others can too. This is not an instance where I think anybody should be accepting of their "nature" when it's clearly something that every person has the power to improve upon.

  10. #20
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    I can't say I agree with the OP. You seem to be saying we should stay within the boundaries defined by our type, rather than trying to transcend. The first thing I did when I became confident of my type was to start learning how to fix the problems my personality presents.

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