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  1. #31
    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    There's a certain degree of ego masturbation in it.
    "I'm just here so I won't get fined."

  2. #32
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    There's a certain degree of ego masturbation in it.
    Nah. That's just acting nice.

  3. #33
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    Well a person could be "nice" in the sincere sense of being truly kind or caring. A person could also be "nice" because they see it as the respectful and socially acceptable thing to do.

    Or you can be "nice" for manipulative reason, to either get what you want, or to keep the peace and not cause trouble.

    I am nice for all of the above reasons at different times. I, however, do not do it because I am intentionally avoiding conflict (unless I'm just not wanting to cause trouble FOR MYSELF) because I'm not conflict-avoidant. I also have less of a sense of "dutifulness" about being "nice" and it's just generally because I genuinely feel kind or cheerful, or because I just want things to be quiet and easy, or I want to achieve some ends.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigmata View Post
    There's a certain degree of ego masturbation in it.
    This is true with some people. But I believe that's just being prim and self-righteous, not really kind or polite.

  5. #35
    facettes de la petite mor Words of Ivory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Well im not inclined to conflict as such. Im just confused as to why I wouldn't be.
    Why *would* you be? It's the nature of almost all species to work together to reach a particular goal. Conflict usually only arises when something appears to challenge that.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Life calls out the meaning of pure jubilance,
    if you'll only take the time to hear it."
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  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Have you never met a genuinely nice person in your life?

  7. #37
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Ive been wondering about this for a while.

    I dont like the connotations of 'being nice'? It always seems like some manipulative attempt at getting others to like a person.

    But why are people 'nice'? What does nice even mean? If im honest Id rather have 100 complete cucking funts who were decent in action than 1 person who was nice in words and demeanor.

    Can anyone tell me? Is there a point to niceness that isnt mired in manipulation?
    Sounds pretty bitter. You had some bad experiences with nice people? Is it the inauthentic niceness of these people that bothers you? Do you think everyone has always got to have another agenda?

    Niceness is something I'd like to be more commonplace like rain at night rather than in the day time or a cool consistent temperature during sunny days, the only draw back with those kind of things is that its impossible to engineer them. Trying too usually has consequences.

    To me niceness is synomynous with thoughtfulness, if its characterised by any sort of manipulation then that's dark triad bullshit and not niceness at all.

  8. #38
    Insert witty line here... Ponyboy's Avatar
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    This makes it almost seem like being nice is a bad thing I think I'm nice just because that's the way I am....no particular reason. As for being nice to get something you want, I would rather deal with someone who is nice to get what they want than someone who is an ass and tries to bully people to get what they want!
    I'm never wrong, I'm just sometimes less right

  9. #39
    Senor Membrae Eugene Watson VIII's Avatar
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    it's normally easier and works out for everyone, genuinely nice is even better
    Myers-Briggs: xsFP

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  10. #40
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    It feels good. Why? Bc healthy person-to-person bonds not only act as a positive mirror to oneself but also help one to feel secure in the world. You can't have too many good bonds.

    When your are nasty to someone, you can't possibly feel better about yourself, because you are acting out of fear rather than out of generosity. You aren't giving them the benefit of the doubt, which is a defense mechanism for battling the fear of not being on the receiving end of the benefit of the doubt yourself.

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