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View Poll Results: Where should blame lay?

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  • With myself, I should explain more fully/clearer/etc.

    12 60.00%
  • With my audience as they are not up to the task of understanding me.

    3 15.00%
  • With me, as I chose the audience poorly.

    5 25.00%
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  1. #21
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    If you speak and are misunderstood by someone is it your fault for not being clear in your thoughts? Or does the fault lie with the other person for being inadequate to the task of understanding?
    Good communication is the responsibility of both parties, but since I can only control my own contributions to the situation, I normally think about what I could have done differently or how I can rephrase things or come from a different angle if there is still a chance to come to an understanding. I can't really bother myself with what the other person's issues are I just have to keep trying (within reason).

    So based on that I'm probably closest to your first poll option, but I don't think any of them fit me exactly.

  2. #22
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I agree w @Sneaky Bastard. However, I think the probability of misunderstandig increases with "level of difference." This can be approximated demographically, but I think what goes on on the molecular level is more important.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  3. #23
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    It depends. In a personal misunderstanding - especially a misunderstanding on-line, which eclipses things like tone and facial expression - sometimes there is nothing you could have done or said to make the person believe you.

    And sometimes you keep explaining and the person just hates you more, the more you explain.

    However in a debate, the burden of proof lies upon you to explain your position more clearly, if you care to.

    I never feel, though, that I owe anyone an explanation if they've personally attacked me, then it becomes a personal misunderstanding, then all bets are off.

  4. #24
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    It depends. In a personal misunderstanding - especially a misunderstanding on-line, which eclipses things like tone and facial expression - sometimes there is nothing you could have done or said to make the person believe you.

    And sometimes you keep explaining and the person just hates you more, the more you explain.

    However in a debate, the burden of proof lies upon you to explain your position more clearly, if you care to.
    Quoted for truth.

    Sometimes, though, the other party in a debate may use a personal misunderstanding against you. Which usually indicates /end constructive debate, begin flame war.
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  5. #25
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I think this depends on each circumstance too. If things start to get heated, people get more defensive and more prone to blame the other.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    If you speak and are misunderstood by someone is it your fault for not being clear in your thoughts? Or does the fault lie with the other person for being inadequate to the task of understanding?
    I believe this has to do with the unseen cost of not understanding. Because too many steps in the process of understanding another = so many degrees of separation that, then what is left is misunderstanding.

    Enough transparency is important that no burden is needed. In other words, expressing to the respected other that they are then able to gather enough to understand.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
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  7. #27
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gish View Post
    It's not that easy and depends upon each individual situation.
    Agreed.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    If you speak and are misunderstood by someone is it your fault for not being clear in your thoughts? Or does the fault lie with the other person for being inadequate to the task of understanding?
    Old chinese saying says: “Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.”
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #29
    Senior Member Ism's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Old chinese saying says: “Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.”
    Sweet quote.

    Anyways, in the case of a misunderstanding, I'll always take it upon myself to clarify, but I also tend to assume that I'm the problem. My audience generally isn't stupid, and not terribly dogmatic, either, so I can't really blame them.

  10. #30
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    Both. The communicator needs to communicate clearly but the audience has to be willing to listen to what the speaker actually says instead of just automatically assuming their own interpretation of what's being said is accurate. People can be horrid listeners (as well as communicators).

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