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Thread: Favourite Joke/s

  1. #1

    Default Favourite Joke/s

    "The following was in The Atlanta Journal. This has got to be one of the best "singles ads" ever published.

    SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.

    Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (###) ###-#### and ask for Daisy.

    Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

    Men are so easy."
    "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
    Bertrand Russell

  2. #2


    Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much and one day, whilst they were walking through the woods they came across a golden frog. The frog turned to them and said: "Ooh, I don't often meet anyone in these parts." They were amazed that the frog had talked to them.

    The golden frog admitted: "Mind you, when I do meet someone I always give them six wishes. You can have three wishes each in this case.

    Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish.

    Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.

    Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

    Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.

    Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

    The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.

    Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said: "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!
    "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
    Bertrand Russell

  3. #3


    Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean. Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father. Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"

    When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge."

    The female agreed to this, so they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship, and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces. The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the sailors were floating in the ocean.

    The male whale was furious and said to the female whale, "They're still alive, but I've got another idea. Let's swim around and gulp up all the sailors!"

    That's when the female stopped swimming, looked at the male and said, "Oh no.........I agreed to the blow job but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen."
    "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
    Bertrand Russell

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array girlnamedbless's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007


    Person one: Knock-knock!
    Person two: Who's there?
    Person one: I ate mop.
    Person two: I ate mop who?
    Person one: Hahahaha, ewww, you did?!

    This always works on people in person! Haha. :-p

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