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  1. #81
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thoughtlost View Post
    lol, about that question... So I think I saw someplace that you're interested in medical school. Are you still an undergrad? I'm an undergrad... so just wondering (...if you won't burn me at the stake for asking) xDD
    Technically, I graduated last year but I'm still finishing up the undergrad-level coursework I need for med school, so...for all intents and purposes, I basically am. How far are you in undergrad and what are you planning on studying?

    but anyway, I never really see myself as person who has any friends in a serious sense. I also never had a strong desire to make friends, but I am still friendly. I just like to chill out and be at peace no matter whose around me, though I can get very tired of being liked on a shallow level.
    Super interesting! I relate to this in many ways. My inner world is so zen, and I try to keep it that way no matter what's going on around me.

  2. #82
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Technically, I graduated last year but I'm still finishing up the undergrad-level coursework I need for med school, so...for all intents and purposes, I basically am. How far are you in undergrad and what are you planning on studying?
    I am going to start my senior year when school starts up again. I am a biology major. One of my sisters is already in medical school; she just finished her first year and she is doing clinical research someplace. The other sister is applying right now... (she is making me read her personal statements and such). But for me... I am not entirely sure, but maybe I'll go onto graduate school at some point. Right now I am doing a summer research program. It's for those who are thinking about a PhD... but there are some students working with me who are in the program to get into medical school.


    Super interesting! I relate to this in many ways. My inner world is so zen, and I try to keep it that way no matter what's going on around me.
    Yeah, people are too... how do I say, difficult for me to handle? I don't know how to say what my mind feels, haha. But maybe what I mean to say is that I don't put too much emphasis on others. I don't care to affect others as much as I care to affect myself. People are kind of hard to figure out, so as long as what they're doing/thinking/feeling/behavior towards me won't affect me in a negative way then I'm alright. It's not to say that people don't affect me at all ...but I can use my rational side and think "meh, that's okay... I can detatch from you" or whatever. ....I don't know. I just don't want to paint myself as one way since I am never entirely certain of every aspect of myself.

    I wouldn't say that my inner world is completely zen, but I'd say it rules me more than anything else that's outside of me.

    How do you keep your internal organs (lol... I had to...) zen?

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    I'd rather be reading

  4. #84
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thoughtlost View Post
    I am going to start my senior year when school starts up again. I am a biology major. One of my sisters is already in medical school; she just finished her first year and she is doing clinical research someplace. The other sister is applying right now... (she is making me read her personal statements and such). But for me... I am not entirely sure, but maybe I'll go onto graduate school at some point. Right now I am doing a summer research program. It's for those who are thinking about a PhD... but there are some students working with me who are in the program to get into medical school.
    Very smart of you to consider research alongside medicine (and anything else that piques your curiosity). In my limited post-grad experience, I've definitely realized that it is SO important to find a field that is a good fit for you, that holds your interest, and that you can succeed in. Although it would have been more convenient for me to have finished taking all the requirements before graduating, I'm honestly really happy that I had the chance to try my hand at everything and take classes in so many departments. I also have an older sibling in medicine, but he is way older than us and finishing up his residency.

    Quote Originally Posted by thoughtlost View Post
    Yeah, people are too... how do I say, difficult for me to handle? I don't know how to say what my mind feels, haha. But maybe what I mean to say is that I don't put too much emphasis on others. I don't care to affect others as much as I care to affect myself. People are kind of hard to figure out, so as long as what they're doing/thinking/feeling/behavior towards me won't affect me in a negative way then I'm alright. It's not to say that people don't affect me at all ...but I can use my rational side and think "meh, that's okay... I can detatch from you" or whatever. ....I don't know. I just don't want to paint myself as one way since I am never entirely certain of every aspect of myself.

    I wouldn't say that my inner world is completely zen, but I'd say it rules me more than anything else that's outside of me.

    How do you keep your internal organs (lol... I had to...) zen?
    lol, I completely agree with everything you said here! Well, I tend to withdraw from people who are distressing as well, but hmm, as for keeping zen, I'm not sure exactly how I do it. My inner world is full of funny and comforting things, and if the outside world gets too distressing, I just withdraw into my own joyful and calm thoughts and feelings. I think it is very wise and a testament to your maturity that you realize that it's more important to affect yourself than those around you, though.

  5. #85
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Very smart of you to consider research alongside medicine (and anything else that piques your curiosity). In my limited post-grad experience, I've definitely realized that it is SO important to find a field that is a good fit for you, that holds your interest, and that you can succeed in. Although it would have been more convenient for me to have finished taking all the requirements before graduating, I'm honestly really happy that I had the chance to try my hand at everything and take classes in so many departments. I also have an older sibling in medicine, but he is way older than us and finishing up his residency.
    Yeah, actually I am a bit worried that I won't find a field that is a good fit for me. I am interested in biological systems (mainly neuroscience), but I don't know how I can go out into the world and find ways to express it, in terms of a career. It might not be too late for me to decide to be a doctor, but then again I feel like any career field AT ALL would be both a good and bad choice for me.

    lol, I completely agree with everything you said here! Well, I tend to withdraw from people who are distressing as well, but hmm, as for keeping zen, I'm not sure exactly how I do it. My inner world is full of funny and comforting things, and if the outside world gets too distressing, I just withdraw into my own joyful and calm thoughts and feelings. I think it is very wise and a testament to your maturity that you realize that it's more important to affect yourself than those around you, though.
    Lol, well... I wouldn't say that I am mature. I do feel like my perspective on life/reality is pretty skewed. It's a little hard to explain, but I shall try. My friend says that I withdraw from life in general since I can't find anything meaningful enough for me in it. Even how I view relationships (mind you, I've never been in a romantic relationship ...I just mean my relations with any individual that I've come across) doesn't seem to be normal. But hey, maybe that will change when I start forcing myself to live a life, haha xDDD

    But yeah, I do agree with the inner world being full of funny and comforting things xDD ....Actually, maybe it's not exactly funny ....but it makes me happy xD It's the only place where I really exist.

    Note: I appreciate you chatting with me (no one on this forum has talked to me for this long)... but I warn you... with me, my thoughts can escalate, in a depressing fashion, quickly (Maybe I should say downscalate instead, lol). You'll probably set me on fire, but don't worry I won't stop you if you need to. I know this sounds weird, I just don't want to end up depressing you, saying anything mean or anything life that so you can ignore me anytime you want if you feel uncomfortable.

  6. #86
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thoughtlost View Post
    Yeah, actually I am a bit worried that I won't find a field that is a good fit for me. I am interested in biological systems (mainly neuroscience), but I don't know how I can go out into the world and find ways to express it, in terms of a career. It might not be too late for me to decide to be a doctor, but then again I feel like any career field AT ALL would be both a good and bad choice for me.



    Lol, well... I wouldn't say that I am mature. I do feel like my perspective on life/reality is pretty skewed. It's a little hard to explain, but I shall try. My friend says that I withdraw from life in general since I can't find anything meaningful enough for me in it. Even how I view relationships (mind you, I've never been in a romantic relationship ...I just mean my relations with any individual that I've come across) doesn't seem to be normal. But hey, maybe that will change when I start forcing myself to live a life, haha xDDD

    But yeah, I do agree with the inner world being full of funny and comforting things xDD ....Actually, maybe it's not exactly funny ....but it makes me happy xD It's the only place where I really exist.

    Note: I appreciate you chatting with me (no one on this forum has talked to me for this long)... but I warn you... with me, my thoughts can escalate, in a depressing fashion, quickly (Maybe I should say downscalate instead, lol). You'll probably set me on fire, but don't worry I won't stop you if you need to. I know this sounds weird, I just don't want to end up depressing you, saying anything mean or anything life that so you can ignore me anytime you want if you feel uncomfortable.
    Sounds like your environment isn't a good fit for you, and it's a pretty natural reaction to withdraw from an environment that isn't stimulating enough whether intellectually, socially, or emotionally. Plus, everyone's perceptions are skewed one way or another. It's more a matter of how skewed they are that's important. What makes you say that the way you view relationships doesn't seem to be normal?

    I'm not sure what you mean when you say "you'll probably set me on fire," and I doubt you'll get me depressed as I'm a pretty happy person. You don't seem like a mean person from what I've gleaned about you so far, so I'd be surprised if you said something mean, also.

  7. #87
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    No, because the dang laws of creation won't let me play my game!

  8. #88
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Sounds like your environment isn't a good fit for you, and it's a pretty natural reaction to withdraw from an environment that isn't stimulating enough whether intellectually, socially, or emotionally. Plus, everyone's perceptions are skewed one way or another. It's more a matter of how skewed they are that's important. What makes you say that the way you view relationships doesn't seem to be normal?
    I guess so, it's not that the environment isn't stimulating... just confusing lol xD I don't know, though. Anyway, the way I see people is probably not good (sorry, "not normal" isn't the right word). So I developed this weird philosophy that the people around me are in a movie that I am not in ...therefore people aren't exactly real, they just represent ideas/concepts/things like that. So it's a bit hard for me to call people friends even though I am friendly because it's not like I think my family/friends exists the way it does for others.

    ...I don't know how to explain it... it's like I live a psychological life (like everyone does)... but it doesn't exist in relation to anything real. Uuhhh... OKAY maybe an example will help. So I can get mad a friend (I am mad at her right now) but ...for no good reason. I'll get mad because she is very smart (not in the typical sense... but like... she has knowledge that she will share with the world when she dies ...only if she keeps on expressing herself) ....and she doesn't know that ...and then the world might not know about it even AFTER she dies.... so she (it... the knowledge) will be lost forever and then I will be jealous that only she had that knowledge and no one else). lol xDDD I am sorry, I am bad with my thoughts xD But I am trying to get better at being more realistic.

    I hope I am not being too mean to her, though... I jokingly say that I hate her at random times and we laugh about it as my way of expressing affection, but I there is some sort of truth behind it.

    I'm not sure what you mean when you say "you'll probably set me on fire," and I doubt you'll get me depressed as I'm a pretty happy person. You don't seem like a mean person from what I've gleaned about you so far, so I'd be surprised if you said something mean, also.
    Lol, well I say this because I am in one of those moods these days were I just don't make any sense to people and I act weird around others... so I fear that it will leak onto the interwebz. Also, telling you that I may act weird will (hopefully) remind me to stay rational in real life (and on the internet) xDD I am sorry about that.

    And I like to say weird things like that instead of saying cliche things. For example, when I say "you'll probably set me on fire" it means (in my loser language) that you'll soon find that I can be a difficult person and I saw this meme one time about seeing a spider in the bathroom so they burned down the hole house to solve the "difficult" problem... so I just combined those two ideas together to create the phrase "you'll probably set me on fire"...

    ....Okay, I'll just shut up now xDDDDDDDDDD

  9. #89
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I am usually living in the moment and feel pretty happy most of the time. I don't usually think beyond the day, and many times, the hour I am in. I know there are things that i can do to increase my happiness and I am slowly working on them. Might take a year or two or three.

  10. #90
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I am usually living in the moment and feel pretty happy most of the time. I don't usually think beyond the day, and many times, the hour I am in. I know there are things that i can do to increase my happiness and I am slowly working on them. Might take a year or two or three.
    An amazing talent. I am working on the ability to do this--I normally only find myself completely in the moment in very certain, narrow times--like seeing Havasu falls for the first time.
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