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  1. #41
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    largely. I left a job that, while fulfilling in some ways was more frustrating than it was rewarding for me, and started a social work program. I love social work--I am where I need to be, with the people I need to be with. I also left a man who, while a fun person with a good heart, was really wrong for me (not a partner at all) and also had a lot bullshit gender beliefs that leaked into my self-concepts, and then almost immediately found the true partner I'd always hoped for. It's been a year of jumping out and jumping in, all very intuitively and without much pre-analysis--and it's been wonderful.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #42
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    That last one made me cringe.. I can't imagine thinking that way.
    How badly do you really want what it is you are thinking of though?
    Well, it's not dramatic - I was thinking more on the lines of "my whole life".

    Example: at 20 I wanted to be a professional cyclist, but I literally wasn't good enough - I could not win enough races to make it. It's a really specific and high-level goal, so it's fine.
    Then I wanted to become a mountain guide, but it was a bit too late - at 23 you're old already if you want to learn that kind of lifestyle.

    Now I'm trying to go for the academic route, and well, that's something I can likely do given that it's not as terribly selective as my other two goals. Still, I would have being a pro cyclist or mountain guide more...but well, as I said, I "wasn't good enough".

    Would you move to another place if it meant a job that allows you to do what you need? Would you give up daily luxuries to make it happen? Do extreme things like eating off of $25 a week? Is it really the jobs that hold you back, or the thought of changing your entire lifestyle to risk making it happen? Both?

    What is it that you want?
    Yeah I have moved around already, that's not a problem. It's mostly a matter of extreme competition - certain kind of "careers" are only available to the very top performers and there's a very large amount of people trying...
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #43
    Senor Membrae Eugene Watson VIII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Would you even want someone to force you to do it though?
    You saying I need to be? I'm guessing you're following your dreams unlike me

    That last one made me cringe.. I can't imagine thinking that way.
    How badly do you really want what it is you are thinking of though? Would you move to another place if it meant a job that allows you to do what you need? Would you give up daily luxuries to make it happen? Do extreme things like eating off of $25 a week? Is it really the jobs that hold you back, or the thought of changing your entire lifestyle to risk making it happen? Both?
    I get what you're getting at, but not many people could live as a full time musician. I am bound to study music at some stage but I wasn't born to be a rockstar or nothin

    What is it that you want?
    To grow and learn I suppose. I don't feel for one thing anymore.

  4. #44
    ... Tyrinth's Avatar
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    To be honest, I don't know. I still don't understand myself enough to know what I really want to do, so I just kind of float through life. I guess I enjoy being a student, but I'm still unsure as to whether or not the path I'm currently on is the one I want to stay on.
    ...

  5. #45
    I'm not Trunks
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    I don't really know, I just go with the flow.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrinth View Post
    To be honest, I don't know. I still don't understand myself enough to know what I really want to do, so I just kind of float through life. I guess I enjoy being a student, but I'm still unsure as to whether or not the path I'm currently on is the one I want to stay on.
    Same deal here.
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  7. #47
    right on the left wing Philosorapteuse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    That last one made me cringe.. I can't imagine thinking that way.
    How badly do you really want what it is you are thinking of though? Would you move to another place if it meant a job that allows you to do what you need? Would you give up daily luxuries to make it happen? Do extreme things like eating off of $25 a week? Is it really the jobs that hold you back, or the thought of changing your entire lifestyle to risk making it happen? Both?

    What is it that you want?
    Because I don't have on the order of sixty thousand pounds of cash, can't plausibly save that much in less than a decade, would need to take another degree plus two years' vocational training which ups the saving-time even more, am lucky to have a paying job at all in the current climate, and on balance I think I'm better off using those ten years or so of savings to do things like, say, afford kids while still in my optimal reproductive years. All that for a one in seven chance of even getting the apprenticeship at the end, never mind a job? The stakes are now too high for me to bankroll. I need to find a new dream, one that won't cripple me even to just get within grasping distance.

    Sometimes it's not a case of "not really wanting it", it's a case of wanting it but making a judgement call, and realising that it's just not realistic or worth it anymore - and that doesn't mean you don't really want it, either. It's sad, but it's just not true that you can do anything if you really want to. Something I once heard from a farrier, of dangerous horses, was "There's exactly as much shame in walking away as there is dignity in getting kicked in the backside." I don't find anything especially more admirable in someone who plugs away at something the everybody but them can see is never going to amount to anything, compared to someone who sees it for what it is and moves on. Letting it go and finding a new path can be as difficult and need as much strength as clinging onto the original one no matter what. I'm struggling to do that.
    "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." --William James

    I'd be a card-carrying sensotard, but I can't find the goddamn card.

  8. #48
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Im surprised at how many people throw their dreams into their jobs.. I've never had a dream job. No one job would give me immense joy or fulfill my life. It is adventures I want, which only some jobs offer a little bit of..

    Is it more common than I thought for people to dream about jobs and little else? Maybe you won't get the dream job.. but you must have other dreams. Why not make those priorities instead? I'm not saying be unreasonable.. but surely there must be other dreams than just working for money.
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  9. #49
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Im surprised at how many people throw their dreams into their jobs.. I've never had a dream job. No one job would give me immense joy or fulfill my life. It is adventures I want, which only some jobs offer a little bit of..

    Is it more common than I thought for people to dream about jobs and little else? Maybe you won't get the dream job.. but you must have other dreams. Why not make those priorities instead? I'm not saying be unreasonable.. but surely there must be other dreams than just working for money.
    There are plenty of jobs which are simply to make ends meet and you have to seek fufilment some other way, I wouldnt channel all you energy into work either and there's lots of examples I can imagine that would be a bad thing to do but at the same time I do think there is such a thing as a dream job.

  10. #50
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Im surprised at how many people throw their dreams into their jobs.. I've never had a dream job. No one job would give me immense joy or fulfill my life. It is adventures I want, which only some jobs offer a little bit of..

    Is it more common than I thought for people to dream about jobs and little else? Maybe you won't get the dream job.. but you must have other dreams. Why not make those priorities instead? I'm not saying be unreasonable.. but surely there must be other dreams than just working for money.
    Even if you have a job that pays you well enough to travel when and where you want, you'll still most likely be spending more time at work than you will be traveling. I think it's important to enjoy the place you spend the majority of your time.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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