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  1. #31
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    My suggestion is to read this book.

    http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyT...471133612.html

    I echo what PeaceBaby said. You can drive a horse to water but you can't make them drink. This is not an easy issue to solve. You can't take responsibility for them. Failure to do the homework is the most common problem I've seen.

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  2. #32
    Senior Member ZPowers's Avatar
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    Oh, I thought you were looking for suggestions on how to fail art.

    I have wandered out of my depth.
    Does he want a pillow for his head?

  3. #33
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    My suggestion is to read this book.

    http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/WileyT...471133612.html

    I echo what PeaceBaby said. You can drive a horse to water but you can't make them drink. This is not an easy issue to solve. You can't take responsibility for them. Failure to do the homework is the most common problem I've seen.
    Ordered that book.

    She finished her two art projects tonight (just drawing) and they both ended up so well. She said it feels like a huge weight off her.

    Quote Originally Posted by ZPowers View Post
    Oh, I thought you were looking for suggestions on how to fail art.

    I have wandered out of my depth.
    I told my older daughter that I posted this and that I got a response for a "how to fail art" thread. I'm open to suggestions

  4. #34
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    That's horrible!
    Is there an issue or is there an unhealthy relationship she has with the teacher perhaps? Just theoretically, if there is, a student might feel discouraged or might be avoidant of the teacher. It could be that approaching the teacher and turning in papers is a horrible experience..just to have to approach the teacher's desk. Its hard to tell but I'm feeling your issue.
    It's not just one teacher, it's more than one and it's been on and off since about 5th grade.

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I stopped doing homework in 4th grade and would lie to my parents about having things done or whether or not something was due. It was a huge power struggle, I have no suggestions cuz nothing worked for me.
    Yes, I'm starting to think we need to focus on just helping her as much as she wants. She just wants the homework to go away fully I think.

  5. #35
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I stopped doing homework in 4th grade and would lie to my parents about having things done or whether or not something was due. It was a huge power struggle, I have no suggestions cuz nothing worked for me.
    same, the op reminds me of myself when i was in school a lot. i really can't explain why i couldn't do homework, it was some weird mental block. nothing anyone tried helped. i went on add meds for a short period but the problem wasn't a lack of attention, it was a lack of motivation. i ended up having to make up a couple classes in night school my last semester of senior year just to graduate on time. which especially sucked, because most of my friends only had to go to school 2 classes a day, and i was there all day plus a few extra hours twice a week.

  6. #36
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    I had a long period of time where I would put off work because it was boring and tedious and unappealing, but then it would be really late and I would get super anxious and avoid it or try to rush it and feel embarrassed with the quality of it, and so I just wouldn't turn it in. It took me until my last year of high school to come to terms with the fact that turning something in is WAY better than turning nothing in, regardless of how shitty it is.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patches View Post
    My brother (ISTP) used to have a similar problem in elementary school. It escalated to the point where he was given a Student Planner which he had to write all of his assignments in. At the end of the school day, his teacher had to sign that day in the planner (to confirm that all assignments were written down). When he was home, our parents had to sign that day in the planner to confirm that they had seen the planner/assignments.

    Then it was just on my parents to make sure he completed all of his assignments while he was home now that they were well informed about what exactly he had to do.
    Interesting. This is pretty standard for schools in Canada. We got planners at the beginning of every year. I think the "signing" was no longer necessary once students began entering high school. I think it is a solid practice to have as a normal part of the education system.

  8. #38
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Yes, I'm starting to think we need to focus on just helping her as much as she wants. She just wants the homework to go away fully I think.
    Maybe ask about what is going on at school. I used to choose not to do homework all the time, mainly because by the time I got home, I was exhausted/overstimulated and didn't have it in me to concentrate on an assignment.

  9. #39
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I had a long period of time where I would put off work because it was boring and tedious and unappealing, but then it would be really late and I would get super anxious and avoid it or try to rush it and feel embarrassed with the quality of it, and so I just wouldn't turn it in. It took me until my last year of high school to come to terms with the fact that turning something in is WAY better than turning nothing in, regardless of how shitty it is.
    This was (is?) exactly true for me, too. Not much worked for me - I did start to hand things in towards the end of high school because my parents weren't able to help me with university so they thoroughly beat me over the head with "no university = no job; no money = no university; no scholarship = no money". But I still underachieved like mad and never did anything until the very last minute (literally - finishing minutes before class) and didn't hand everything in (forever grateful to my grade 12 physics teacher who let me hand in all the assignments for the year after the school year was over). I did manage to get good enough grades for an ok entrance scholarship that covered some of the tuition my first year, nothing fancy though.

    So I guess the only thing that worked at all was having a very good idea of what grades were important for and maybe more importantly, being scared of the inherent consequences of bad grades. Punishments never did shit for me since I would get stubborn and also didn't really care, and I don't think I ever got rewards so I don't know whether that would work.
    -end of thread-

  10. #40
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I don't know whether my input will be helpful here, but when I was younger I basically was really bored by elementary/high school but I did my work anyway. It was always emphasized that I should graduate high school, because if I did that and made good/decent grades then I'd be able to pursue something in life that I actually wanted with more of an edge than if I had not tried in school. I think that this behavior may have caused me to worry much more about the future in general as an adult, and when I was in my late teens, which is helpful because I'm very wary of things and use more logic, but causes me some anxiety when things are unclear (that may be the lack of an intuitive preference, despite my strong intuition).

    One thing that always helped me in school was my friends, knowing that they were going through what I was going through, that I needed to pass to stay in the same grade as them, etc. It also really helped me to establish a personal connection with the teacher, I was pretty antisocial with my classmates actually, I only talked to 2 or 3 of them, but I always talked to my teachers and got to know them. I knew I'd be failing the teacher if I failed at my work. The downside to this approach was when I didn't respect the teacher, I'd rebel against the class and do worse on my work.

    Maybe your kid doesn't feel connected enough to the schoolwork, it doesn't have enough of a personal meaning for them perhaps? I have a very, very hard time making myself do anything that doesn't have personal meaning to me when it comes to schoolwork.
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