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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerald Rain View Post
    So you're going to make me say it. I want a relationship. I have never thought of her sexually.

    Fukk this is getting weird...
    It's okay. (:

    I asked because the subject will probably come up if y'all hit it off on Skype. Since you didn't meet on a dating website, you don't have the luxury of reviewing a basic singles profile of what you're both looking for.

    I think most singles are looking for their soulmate, but some singles are willing to have casual sex with people they don't consider to be soulmate material.

    It sounds like you're a good guy.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    It's better to admit it than pretend something else like most people posting about relationships do.
    most people? No. I actually like relationships with people I can talk to and spend time with. Its actually a rare person I think who truly doesn't want the object of their attraction and maintain the petrarchan conceit.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emerald Rain View Post
    I want her. I'm afraid what might happen if I do try to get her (2 possibilities here, either I get her, or can't). the pain part is something I've grown to tolerate/ accept as it's the only thing I have for now.
    you've got nothing to lose. You aren't even friends with her. The pain of losing a friend or someone you actually had an investment of time in would be much much worse. Plus if she straight up says get lost you can obsess about other girls who will talk to you, maybe even have sex with you. Its the not knowing that kills me, personally.

  4. #64
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    This thread is a great example of what happens when there is a Full Moon.

  5. #65
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    either figure out if you actually are worthwhile being together and meet each other some way or another, or get off the computer and meet someone else. or forget the girls thing for a bit and concentrate on something else important. you do have something else important in your life, right?

    or sit around and feel shitty about yourself. that's so deep.

    need discipline to gain discipline. use what you got, work your way up, get moving to bigger and better things. c'mon man.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  6. #66
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    I guess my advice (oh boy) would be to try putting some mental distance between your thoughts and her, preferably another activity where there are girls who can take your mind off of her. Slowly let it go, whatever happens happens, and that's good enough. Something else will show up somewhere, not a big deal in the long run. Actually, I don't see why you have to give up on her at this point (just pedal back on the intensity of expectations); there is plenty of opportunity to talk with her on Skype or just through current/other means and that could lead somewhere, but you've decided that you don't want to, so that's moot.

    I also think sending her the PM would have been a waste of time, yes. There are more productive ways than to just spill it, even if your gut feels the need to do it. (I've had that urge before, too)
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    @Emerald Rain

    Quote Originally Posted by Emerald Rain View Post
    I don't think I'll pm her about my feelings. She knows I like her, if she likes me back, there'll be a way. eventually. I will not avoid her on Skype.
    I think this is costing you quite a bit emotionally. And I'm not exempt either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Dude, you can't have her. Repeat that to yourself a million times. So you need to just get over it now, NOT write her a sappy PM getting yourself deeper into the dismal abyss.

    Find someone in Canadialand.
    And I don't think this will happen either. Have you given to her the reasons why you really like her? To me, this feels like sweating bullets of proposed grief more and also unrequited..hrmm..something. I don't think it's love...which I'd be pretty sure she has sensed, or read in one way or another and picked up on.

    It's like if someone were to do that, a person might be saying to themselves, 'Why do they like me so much?' They might say to themselves 'I don't think I like myself as much as they seem to like me'. And so you see..It becomes a question of sincerity. Have you told her reasons why you like her? Does she know the reasons? I think telling her is really important. It sounds like your essential merit went missing, so this has the feel like there's a whole lot missing.
    Last edited by Winds of Thor; 05-08-2012 at 07:25 AM.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  8. #68
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    It's like if someone were to do that, a person might be saying to themselves, 'Why do they like me so much?' They might say to themselves 'I don't think I like myself as much as they seem to like me'. And so you see..It becomes a question of sincerity. Have you told her reasons why you like her? Does she know the reasons? I think telling her is really important. It sounds like your essential merit went missing, so this has the feel like there's a whole lot missing.
    So true! So many times it seems like people in love with love don't realize that often when you are the target of it it's obviously not sincere.

    Or it's so superficial
    "you are popular on a forum, I want you"
    "everyone seems to like you so I do too!"
    "Your pics are so hot I really like your personality!" (wtf?)
    "You are a female so I target you for my interest, just like I obviously target ever female!"

    Some may not apply here but it's the same false interest.

  9. #69
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    @Emerald Rain



    I think this is causing you quite a bit emotionally. And I'm not exempt either.



    And I don't think this will happen either. Have you given to her the reasons why you really like her? To me, this feels like sweating bullets of proposed grief more and also unrequited..hrmm..something. I don't think it's love...which I'd be pretty sure she has sensed, or read in one way or another and picked up on.

    It's like if someone were to do that, a person might be saying to themselves, 'Why do they like me so much?' They might say to themselves 'I don't think I like myself as much as they seem to like me'. And so you see..It becomes a question of sincerity. Have you told her reasons why you like her? Does she know the reasons? I think telling her is really important. It sounds like your essential merit went missing, so this has the feel like there's a whole lot missing.
    I disagree that he should continue on this path towards her in any way but I'll hush now because I'm sure that's not what he wants to hear.

  10. #70
    Member Emerald Rain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    It's okay. (:

    I asked because the subject will probably come up if y'all hit it off on Skype. Since you didn't meet on a dating website, you don't have the luxury of reviewing a basic singles profile of what you're both looking for.

    I think most singles are looking for their soulmate, but some singles are willing to have casual sex with people they don't consider to be soulmate material.

    It sounds like you're a good guy.
    I'm not a great guy, and I don't harbor crushes easily. I'm very pickey when it comes to women, and I'm sota surpried, even mad that I think she's the perfect girl, even though I never met her, and my impressions of her mainly comes from the pm's we exchanged, forum posts, and odd skype convo.

    As for the soulmate part, I agree. I'm looking for mine, and will continue to do so


    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    either figure out if you actually are worthwhile being together and meet each other some way or another, or get off the computer and meet someone else. or forget the girls thing for a bit and concentrate on something else important. you do have something else important in your life, right?

    or sit around and feel shitty about yourself. that's so deep.

    need discipline to gain discipline. use what you got, work your way up, get moving to bigger and better things. c'mon man.
    Well, she expressed that she wanted to meet me, but we're both broke and that is unlikey. I don't feel like I'm worthwhile at this point in my life, and my heart aches
    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    I guess my advice (oh boy) would be to try putting sme mental distance between your thoughts and her, preferably another activity where there are girls who can take your mind off of her. Slowly let it go, whatever happens happens, and that's good enough. Something else will show up somewhere, not a big deal in the long run. Actually, I don't see why you have to give up on her at this point (just pedal back on the intensity of expectations); there is plenty of opportunity to talk with her on Skype or just through current/other means and that could lead somewhere, but you've decided that you don't want to, so that's moot.

    I also think sending her the PM would have been a waste of time, yes. There are more productive ways than to just spill it, even if your gut feels the need to do it. (I've had that urge before, too)
    I've already scrapped off the pm idea. My plan is just to show her that I think she's a very attractive person, what she does with the knowledge is beyond my control.

    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    @Emerald Rain



    I think this is causing you quite a bit emotionally. And I'm not exempt either.



    And I don't think this will happen either. Have you given to her the reasons why you really like her? To me, this feels like sweating bullets of proposed grief more and also unrequited..hrmm..something. I don't think it's love...which I'd be pretty sure she has sensed, or read in one way or another and picked up on.

    It's like if someone were to do that, a person might be saying to themselves, 'Why do they like me so much?' They might say to themselves 'I don't think I like myself as much as they seem to like me'. And so you see..It becomes a question of sincerity. Have you told her reasons why you like her? Does she know the reasons? I think telling her is really important. It sounds like your essential merit went missing, so this has the feel like there's a whole lot missing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    So true! So many times it seems like people in love with love don't realize that often when you are the target of it it's obviously not sincere.

    Or it's so superficial
    "you are popular on a forum, I want you"
    "everyone seems to like you so I do too!"
    "Your pics are so hot I really like your personality!" (wtf?)
    "You are a female so I target you for my interest, just like I obviously target ever female!"

    Some may not apply here but it's the same false interest.
    She's bubbly
    Extroverted
    Nurturing
    Likes animals
    Creative...we've gotten to know each other's painting style
    Beautiful
    She can eat like a man
    Active


    ...



    I am damaged, however.

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