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Thread: Promises

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    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Default Promises

    How do you relate to promises you make? Do they stay on your mind, how important are they. Do you often say you promise something without meaning it?

    Are you willing to fulfill a yet unkept one and tell us about it ? How does that make you feel ?
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
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    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    How do you relate to promises you make? Do they stay on your mind, how important are they. Do you often say you promise something without meaning it?

    Are you willing to fulfill a yet unkept one and tell us about it ? How does that make you feel ?
    I have always taken care not to promise anything unless I knew without a doubt I would fulfill it. I learned this from being a mother> You cannot break a child's heart like that. Therefore I have made very few promises, whereby I actually say, "I promise."

    However, I am currently reading the Bible [for the first time--- ] and it clearly says in there that God does not like people to make promises at all, that our straight word should be like a promise, and that He is the only one who can make promises. So I'm trying to stop saying 'promise' and it is rather difficult. We've come to equate promise for just meaning what we say, and to equate what we say for just not really meaning anything.
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    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    However, I am currently reading the Bible [for the first time--- ] and it clearly says in there that God does not like people to make promises at all, that our straight word should be like a promise, and that He is the only one who can make promises.
    Well, ''He'' surely doesnt keep them. Either not omniscient and or omnipotent and then I dont see why ''He'' should have the last word despite lack of perfect information .. or a liar. In both cases it's not the kind of moral example I want to follow.

    I promised, years ago, that I would shave my head. Going to the hairdresser now
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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    Senior Member Snoopy22's Avatar
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    I try to follow the “let your yes be yes and no be no” without making promises. Below explains better.

    John Bright
    The practice of swearing to the truth of anything makes two kinds of truth or truthfulness. If oaths are of any avail, by so much as they make truth more certain by so much they lessen the value of any ordinary statement, and diminish the probability of its truth. If ignorant persons are not sworn they think they may tell lies with impunity, and their lying is made to a large extent blameless in their eyes. I think oaths and oath taking have done more than any other thing to impair and destroy a regard for truth.

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    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snoopy22 View Post
    I try to follow the “let your yes be yes and no be no” without making promises. Below explains better.

    John Bright
    The practice of swearing to the truth of anything makes two kinds of truth or truthfulness. If oaths are of any avail, by so much as they make truth more certain by so much they lessen the value of any ordinary statement, and diminish the probability of its truth. If ignorant persons are not sworn they think they may tell lies with impunity, and their lying is made to a large extent blameless in their eyes. I think oaths and oath taking have done more than any other thing to impair and destroy a regard for truth.
    Interesting. Well I didnt think of it as oaths just personal promises you make. For me promises apply to extraordinary (in the litteral sense) claims and are a statement of will. Meaning that if you can do it you will do it and that this task will have when considered have higher priority than other concerns.
    Also most communications do not concern tasks and specific goals while promises would tend to.

    So for me i'd say a promise is a combination of factors:
    1)Stated verifiable goals
    2)Higher priority when considered (say you are extremely shy but promised that you would do something that conflicts with this shyness)
    3) Concerns Extraordinary personal claims, when you promise to buy bread well, saying you will should be sufficient in the absence of a specific personal or/and environmental challenge. So for one person an extraordinary claim might be to shave your head because they re attached to a full head of hair while for others it might be something else.
    4) to bounce off the extraordinary claim: a promise is made at the individual level. If, as a group you promise to ''do x'' and its only a challenge or extraordinary for 60 percent of the members it wouldnt make much sense, they d have to promise individually as members of the group rather than as the group.
    5) Has to be realistic
    6) Has to concern future events. When talking about what already happened oaths assume, as you said, a certain elasticity as to speaking truthfully.
    7) Is about intent, meaning that a change of situation could make that promise 'dormant' or void in case of finality. (but the high priority means that you cant just wait until people die and then say ''oh yeah, right, too bad''
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #6
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    How do you relate to promises you make? Do they stay on your mind, how important are they. Do you often say you promise something without meaning it?

    Are you willing to fulfill a yet unkept one and tell us about it ? How does that make you feel ?
    I don't make promises I don't intend to keep. I will do what I say. This is an invioble code for me. It's the bedrock of who I am. It's as simple as that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry View Post
    I have always taken care not to promise anything unless I knew without a doubt I would fulfill it. I learned this from being a mother> You cannot break a child's heart like that. Therefore I have made very few promises, whereby I actually say, "I promise."
    Pretty much.

    I've been "pressured" before into making promises that I couldn't keep (really, my people-pleasing in action), but I flat-out refuse to do so now because it's not the right thing to do and because it's not good for either party in the long term.

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