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  1. #21
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I mean in real life, I totally hate passive aggressive dialogue or discussion when I hear it in real life, between anyone, stranger, friends, family, when one person has said something and then repeats it, then says it again, then something similar, then allaudes to the earlier incident/conversation, then does so again. I hate that shit, I absolutely do.
    I hate repetition too. Normally, you only have to tell me once. To be fair though, sometimes the other person isn't always aware they already stated that point. And sometimes, they will repeat things if they have reason to believe the other person wasn't really listening closely.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Although equally I hate it when someone tries to make conversation with someone who is obviously busy, or engaged with someone else in conversation, or is watching something attentively or reading atttentively. It is such a serious mindfulness fail that it actually gets me wound up, I dont even always have to be on the receiving end of it myself personally, sometimes, if its a friend or family member, I'll stop what I'm doing, set it aside, point it out to them what they have done, ask them why they have done it, ask if they'd be inclined to do it again. Although without fail it will be repeated.
    Yes! Some people just don't seem to be pick on nonverbals like looking busy with something else. I really hate it when people try to engage me in conversation when I'm trying to do something else. My mom will sometimes start talking to me when it's obvious I'm reading and it infuriates me. I'm not sure if the person trying to initiate the conversation is just oblivious to nonverbal signs or if the other person believes what they have to say is more important than what the other person is doing at the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I also hate people asking really stupid or obvious questions, such as when someone says something, giving precise or specific details, and then the other person repeats what they have said as a question or asks the same question once again and has what has been said to them repeated three or four times. It belys some seriously deficit concentration, listening, attention and recall skills.
    I've been on both sides of this. I work with customers who seem really slow on the uptake and it tries my patience. On the other hand, there are areas where I have zero knowledge or have a more difficult time grasping for whatever reason and I'd appreciate someone who is patient with me and allows me to ask the stupid questions without the risk of having my intelligence insulted. So I have learned that when I'm working with someone who is asking dumb questions and keeps asking to have things repeated, it may be a sign that I have to change the way I'm presenting the information. Perhaps go a little slower, use more visual demonstration and try not to let my impatience show. Different people are smart about different things and just because someone seems dumb about one thing doesn't necessarily mean they are dumb overall.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    When someone appears totally dumb founded when they are asked about something which they know or should know the answer to, that pisses me off too, so if someone has had a conversation with me about a film or book or something, I walk away from then and in a short space of time or even a day or two later when I ask them about it they've no idea what I'm talking about. Perhaps they'll have a minor eureka moment after a while when it comes into their head again.
    Sometimes though, what's obvious to you may not always be obvious to someone else. This is a lesson I have learned the hard way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Communications fails really piss me off. If they happened once or twice but that individual appeared to really learn from it and move on it would be fine. Most of the time they learn the wrong lesson or learn nothing at all or dont appear to be that reflective on their day, themselves or anything that's taken place recently or over the longer term.
    Yes, communications fails can be frustrating, especially when you've put in the time and effort to teach someone and they appeared to learn nothing from it. The other person must want to truly learn and that isn't always something you can control. You are also right about them not being reflective on their day. Sometimes people are more receptive to information than others. I've also learned that some people appear to be listening out of politeness but really don't care what you have to say. So the information literally goes in one ear and out the other.
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  2. #22
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    What do you think an ex-moderator trying to control the content of subforums or simply failing to ignore the ones they dont like is about?
    As far as my comment goes, it's entirely logical. You are not discussing the psychology of such people. The entire content of the thread has just been, "Does this piss you off?" Other members noted that it just seems to be a gripe thread for you.

    As this is not a serious academic discussion exploring actual psychology condition and development of such behavior, it does not belong in this subforum. Members can (and do) report both bad behavior and misplaced topics, which is what I did both in the thread and through the Report feature. Next time I'll just Report it and not even waste time noting such in the thread.

    You seem to be an organized guy, so I'm not sure why you don't see value in this, or why you need to twist it around and make it a "control" issue on my part... although this kind of character distortion seems to be one you commonly practice on this forum and why I usually ignore you. Since I reported it, I haven't thought twice about it, and I don't care what they do at this point since it's not my job to enforce anything, just to suggest.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #23
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    Communication really is a lost art. I'm glad that some people are fighting the good fight.



    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but it frustrates me when I find myself in conversations when people make the same point over and over. My feeling is that if you have to start a sentence with the words "like I said," you do not need to say that sentence.
    My estimation: they could be saying such a thing because they feel like their point wasn't heard/understood, or because they feel that it's important and could trump any counterargument. The former is understandable if it's genuine; the latter is typically naive and an indicator of "king of the hill" mentality. There's no point in conversing with someone who won't budge.

    Of course, one could feel that their point wasn't understood because the other person still disagrees with it and still has his own opinion ("I told him he's wrong, and he still thinks the way he does! Let me just repeat the thing that I said--that'll help!").

    (A third way that this may come up: if they're taking that original idea in another direction or using it in another way, they may have to restate that idea.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I don't know... for the first part (making the same point over and over again), my impression is that extroverts don't mind repeating/reaffirming a point already made. I notice this a lot at work, and my spouse definitely does it. But for myself, if I've said something once and I'm relatively confident that people were listening, I don't see any reason to repeat it.
    Yeah, this.

    Ideally, we'd say a thing that we're going to say, ensure that the other person understands it, then allow them to express their point of view in the same way. We wouldn't club other over the head over and over with our own viewpoint. And so, iteratively, we'd reach a higher level of understanding that transcends both of our points of view.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquarelle View Post
    I don't know... for the first part (making the same point over and over again), my impression is that extroverts don't mind repeating/reaffirming a point already made. I notice this a lot at work, and my spouse definitely does it. But for myself, if I've said something once and I'm relatively confident that people were listening, I don't see any reason to repeat it. I don't think this causes introversion, but I definitely think introverts might relate more to my experience than extroverts.
    I definitely wonder which has the geater occasion for disatisfaction or frustration with communication, although in theory the one possesses a greater need for social interaction, I wonder if the greater need just means dealing with greater disatisfaction, I know introverts can relate but are they more aggrieved because they're introverted or more introverted because they're aggrieved?

  5. #25
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    are they more aggrieved because they're introverted or more introverted because they're aggrieved?
    I think more aggrieved because they're introverts. Or not even more aggrieved maybe, but just more loathe to suffer/perform the unnecessary speech acts associated with repeating oneself.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

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  6. #26
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Jag, I wonder why you have to villify posters and play these protracted games as opposed to really contributing, well, anything really.
    That's not a response to my post, Lark.

    As far as contributing — at times, your threads resemble a collection of incoherent rants, like a crazed disc jockey who plays the same limited number of songs, over and over and over.

    The threads I've started actually have some relevance to this forum. It's called Typology Central. Remember?

    Here's one of your illustrious thread titles:

    Did you fear witches growing up?

    If that's a 'contribution' to this forum, this place is in trouble.
    It's also what I would call a stupid discussion, just like this thread.

    Rant on, Lark.

  7. #27
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    @Lark: Oftentimes people repeat themselves because they feel they are not being heard. It sounds almost as though there are times when you feel intruded upon when others try to build a connection with you?
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  8. #28
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    Does anyone get really pissed off over hearing stupid or inattentive discussions?
    I hate to answer a question with a question, but here goes:

    Does anyone get pissed off over hearing over intellectual or psuedo-intellectual yet condescending discussions?

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    I hate to answer a question with a question, but here goes:

    Does anyone get pissed off over hearing over intellectual or psuedo-intellectual yet condescending discussions?
    Yes.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Yes.
    You and me both sister.

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