and what kind of attention?
ive noticed i only like to converse when i have control over whats being talked about, but i pay attention even to the slightest hint of possibly arising thought from the other side. often to the end, they havent even got the tought which they would have were i not to talk at that moment, into such end they dont themselves know they would have got that thought but i know and insist them on bringing it up and there it comes.
if i dont have control, i go into silent mode. (which means, 'your not able to produce a topic i would like to talk about and neither am i, so get off.' in that mode i primarily give mh, hmm responses or quick spotless explanations to various things. which should give off the mood 'i know this perfectly, and now i just gave it to you. dont question it. i dont want to talk of it.')
this control is not about monologue, quite the opposite.
i learn the others interest areas and am thus able to have them do as much of talking as i can make them to, while i have the control as to what they will talk about. the optimal state id consider when share is 50/50 when ive mastered understanding the other and thus effortless to make it completely spontaneous conversation with high amounts of feelings, in it. the state where both can drop defences completely and be themselves.
i suppose that makes me Sx dom, as my primary goal is always the intense feelings i get by reaching that state. (there has been only one group ive succeeded to do it with, as its harder to make sure no one is left out feeling excluded of that state.)
also this control thing, can you relate?
it just makes me 100% frustrated if i dont have control. (aka im not feeling physically capable enough to or ive deemed the counterparts interest area too self centered/down to earth/limited, in general, just unable to find any common ground and they keep talking about [insert most boring down to earth topic here]. i can do activities down on earth but never, never will i talk of any of it. makes me vomit mentally. in those situations i shut my input and go into my head to fastforward the time.)
whats your take on all of this? i want your thoughts NOW!!! =O..
every, single, one, of them.
(i hope you can remember all these questions as well as i can, and to answer them, but heres one more: (one..? >.<) you find my ways related to any mbti type? i just cant seem to fit into any of the 16 types. nor the disorder types.)