Man, you guys are too nice to me.
Honestly, I seriously fucking hate my birthday. I've said it before, but the obligatory fake 'nice' my unstable family thrusts onto me sort of highlights the extent of the consistent emotional (& at times, physical) abuse I've dealt with on any other day. Pretend I'm a ''person'' for a day. Why bother. So I just prefer not to acknowledge it.
I know maybe some people here do it out of social compulsion- but even then, it still seems to come from an overall better, genuine place, at the core.
Does not compute in my mind. I sporadically have to fight off tears, like it's painful to receive that sort of treatment [even off a damn.. forum].. and I don't know why. How backward. People being kind to you hurts in some weird way.
Been in a toxic place for far too long.
I'm rambling, but I really do appreciate all the friends I've made here, and the overall sense of community, more than I know how to convey.
I was unable to leave my house for so long due to health problems, sometimes this place was the only remotely healthy/positive social contact I'd had. That probably sounds creepy &/or pathetic, but fuck it. It's the reality of things.
Just, yeah. Thanks, guys. For this & more.
/Shutting up now.
Here's to real people.
And really living.