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  1. #1
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    Default Cheesiest pick up lines

    Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

    What are your worst best corniest pick up lines/stories?
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  2. #2
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    ew. Where to start.

    Ok. This was a one word turn-off. Or how I learnt that a girl doesn't need to be a good dancer to get dances.

    Now the bachata is a dance from the Dominican Republic that's danced hip to hip, legs intertwined. On the social dance floor, this means I rarely dance it, only with guys I'm comfortable with.

    So one evening, I'm in a backless, midriff-baring top, just walking into the club. The strains of a salsa tune come to an end, and a bachata starts. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this old guy come hurrying across the floor straight at me. He comes to a stop right in front of me.

    He huffs.

    He puffs. (I kid you not)

    Gave a grin with yellow teeth, and went, "BARRR-CHAARRR-TARRRR?" in a voice that went a few pitches higher with each syllable.

    I literally backed away and almost tripped on my heels.

    So yea. You don't have to be a good dancer to get dances.

    I never wore that top again.

  3. #3
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    True one for you.

    A lady who works for me, was picked up in a bar by a Military policeman who did so in the rather romantic way of handcuffing her by surprise.

    I'm guessing it isn't the first time he's used it for pickups. They are still together though

  4. #4
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    True one for you.

    A lady who works for me, was picked up in a bar by a Military policeman who did so in the rather romantic way of handcuffing her by surprise.

    I'm guessing it isn't the first time he's used it for pickups. They are still together though
    that's an amalgamation of scary, funny and sweet at the same time...

    almost as amusing as "Nothing says 'love' like a restraining order!"

  5. #5
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Here's a story of how a fellow intern at a hippie non-profit met her boyfriend. It's quite amusing...in the way you describe the event above ^^

    She was walking around Berkeley, which is a wide, spread out city the way only a CA big city can be -- and was totally lost. In addition to being from Georgia, she's also legally blind.

    A cop on his motorcycle asked her if she needed a ride and she said no. He circled around again and asked her one more time if she wanted a ride. I think she gave in the 2nd or 3rd time. She hopped on the back of his bike and he took her to her destination.

    On the way she made polite conversation with him:

    Intern: "Wow, cops in Berkeley are so nice! No cop back in [small town in Georgia] ever offered to take me somewhere."

    Guy on bike: "I'm not a cop!!!"

    LOLZ if you can imagine her shock (and horror ) if you LOLZ at that kind of stuff.

    All was well. The guy said he felt really bad for the way that came out, because he realized it must have freaked her out -- not necessarily that he yelled, but the dawning realization she unknowingly hopped on the bike of a total stranger in a strange city and now basically can't see where she's going.

    They stayed together for at least the rest of the summer. And no, no handcuffs were used.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #6
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    This wasn't a pickup line, per se. After meeting a young lady at a bar and talking/flirting for a while, she seemed somewhere between charmed mildly shocked/dumbstruck at the words coming out of my mouth. She interrupted to ask "Who are you???" I replied, looking straight into her eyes, "I'm Batman."

    We proceeded to make out at the bar until the bartender told us to stop.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  7. #7
    Junior Member Meatbot's Avatar
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    Is there a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

  8. #8
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Here's a story of how a fellow intern at a hippie non-profit met her boyfriend. It's quite amusing...in the way you describe the event above ^^

    She was walking around Berkeley, which is a wide, spread out city the way only a CA big city can be -- and was totally lost. In addition to being from Georgia, she's also legally blind.

    A cop on his motorcycle asked her if she needed a ride and she said no. He circled around again and asked her one more time if she wanted a ride. I think she gave in the 2nd or 3rd time. She hopped on the back of his bike and he took her to her destination.

    On the way she made polite conversation with him:

    Intern: "Wow, cops in Berkeley are so nice! No cop back in [small town in Georgia] ever offered to take me somewhere."

    Guy on bike: "I'm not a cop!!!"

    LOLZ if you can imagine her shock (and horror ) if you LOLZ at that kind of stuff.

    All was well. The guy said he felt really bad for the way that came out, because he realized it must have freaked her out -- not necessarily that he yelled, but the dawning realization she unknowingly hopped on the bike of a total stranger in a strange city and now basically can't see where she's going.

    They stayed together for at least the rest of the summer. And no, no handcuffs were used.
    rofl, nicely done, I will have to remember that the next time I'm riding my motorcycle through a big city... LOL

  9. #9
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    The worst I've gotten is when someone intentionally spilled a beer on my shirt and then proceeded to say "well, now I see you have a lovely bra on, why don't you just take off that wet shirt and make yourself at home?"

    Frat parties...
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #10
    Junior Member littlemissgiggles's Avatar
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    Never gotten any myself, but a male friend of mine used to practice his on me.
    A couple gems:

    "Do you have a little Indian in you? [friend was Indian]....Would you like one?"

    "Did it hurt?...When you fell from heaven?"

    I hope he never actually used them.

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