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  1. #11
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    my mom has alzheimers now and can't talk or think, but she appears in my dreams, teaching me on spiritual matters around the heart. in real life my mother had a restricted view on many aspects of life, meaning i would reject much of what she had to say on a literal level. i also would do better not copy her behavior so much, as it's all about self-neglect and co-dependency. all the real qualities of my mother are indeed best expressed in dream language, because they are all soul qualities. as a soul she is awesome. she just sucked at dealing with this world. i haven't fallen far from that stem.

  2. #12
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Stuff my ENTP mum taught me

    the deeper stuff:
    - life/the world is fascinating, full of shades of grey, curious details and often stranger than fiction
    - you don't have to decide between science and the humanities
    - gender roles are stupid
    - intelligence doesn't define a person's worth and uneducated people can be just as great to talk to as highbrow folks
    - who you are is a fluid thing, you can change who or what you are of you so desire
    - it is perfectly possible to go through life without a partner, as she did, but humans aren't made for that
    - life isn't always fair
    - be kind and polite to people and they are very likely to respond in kind
    - "We should not moor a ship with one anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope" - Epictetus
    - things are never as bad as they seem
    - don't define your selfworth through your skills or brains or external appreciation
    - always have a plan B (see Epictetus quote)
    - few people are "evil", they usually just have different perspectives on things
    - if you act like you think you are a loser, people will pick it up and assume you are one
    - it is never too late to learn/study something
    - be self sufficient!

    the not so deep stuff:
    - if you buy eggs, make sure to open the box and turn them around to make sure they aren't broken and glued to the cardboard box with dried-up eggwhite
    - cotton is better than plastic
    - don't underestimate the effect (un)healthy food, sleep(deprivation) and (lack of) fresh air have on your mood ... oh my, fresh air! she thinks it's the answer to (almost) everything! *sigh*
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
    A herring's blog
    Johari / Nohari

  3. #13
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    my mama taught me:

    how to be a loving loyal passionate companion even after 30 years of mawwwage (sure, it annoyed us seeing our parents lounge about in their silk robes at noon but they taught us that good sex doesn't stop after a certain age, once you've had kids, or during times of stress).

    how to blow a shit-ton of money. not so glad i know this one, as i've had to teach myself about personal budgeting...not easy, looks like this.

    an appreciation for the arts, particularly Dostoevsky and Chopin.

    how to travel well.

    the art of the elegant curse.

    how to form a network of female friendships and mentors.

    how to share.

    how to age gracefully.

    last but not least:

    how to cook.
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  4. #14
    Dali
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    - Empathy.
    - Respect.
    - Dignity.
    - Generosity. She told me never to ignore anyone who was genuinely in need. There is ALWAYS something I could do for them.

  5. #15
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Don't be too soft with women.

    And tbh, I could be kind of a sucker when I was younger. She wouldn't have told me if I wasn't.
    actually that might sound cruel but it's good advice

    mine taught me never to depend on a man (financially).
    she taught me to be more empathetic with people, to judge less and compromise more.
    that the body is a machine and you should treat it as such. eat properly, it will work properly.
    she taught me to stop running and appreciate the present, the simple things more. even laughter. she taught me to be modest. i love her.
    and the most important lesson was that i can be everything i want in the world. there are no limits. i just have to work hard. that was the most important lesson i got from my mum i think.

  6. #16
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nanook View Post
    my mom has alzheimers now and can't talk or think, but she appears in my dreams, teaching me on spiritual matters around the heart. in real life my mother had a restricted view on many aspects of life, meaning i would reject much of what she had to say on a literal level. i also would do better not copy her behavior so much, as it's all about self-neglect and co-dependency. all the real qualities of my mother are indeed best expressed in dream language, because they are all soul qualities. as a soul she is awesome. she just sucked at dealing with this world. i haven't fallen far from that stem.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2mLtMCDTss

  7. #17
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Stuff my ENTP mum taught me

    the deeper stuff:

    - you don't have to decide between science and the humanities
    PLEASE tell me more. This is my biggest problem.

  8. #18
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Stuff my ENTP mum taught me


    - don't define your selfworth through your skills or brains or external appreciation
    and this...?! what do you define it by then?

    (I love your mum! I want to be a mum now.....)

  9. #19
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red Herring View Post
    Stuff my ENTP mum taught me

    the not so deep stuff:
    - if you buy eggs, make sure to open the box and turn them around to make sure they aren't broken and glued to the cardboard box with dried-up eggwhite
    - cotton is better than plastic
    - don't underestimate the effect (un)healthy food, sleep(deprivation) and (lack of) fresh air have on your mood ... oh my, fresh air! she thinks it's the answer to (almost) everything! *sigh*
    I seriously love your mum!!! Mine told me all these things too. Seriously, all the stuff that you mention is either MY personal belief or what my mum taught me. Sorry about the extra quoting by the way oops :/

    (mine thinks lack of sleep is the answer for everything. "mum i have a tooth-ache"... "you need to sleep more" lol)

  10. #20
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    Hmm..
    - Always strive to be independent.
    - Be nice. The truth will still be the truth even if it's not said in the most brutal way.
    - One can be feminine and still be respected by coworkers.
    - The world isn't black and white; there are shades of grey everywhere.
    - You don't have to choose between science and the arts.
    - Treat everyone the way you would want to be treated.
    - Life isn't only about science.

    I'm sure there are some others but it's a big blob in my head and I become aware of her lessons only when I hear her disapproving voice in my head or see her disapproving eyes and pursed lips on my mental retina.

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