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  1. #1
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Default to your 16 year old self...

    what parts of your present existence would be a total let down to your 16 year old self (who somehow thought that you would be considerably cooler)?

    - I am not a spy OR an assassin
    - I don't party
    - I wear a lady suit for entirely too much of the week :horor:
    - I do not have friends wandering all about... instead I try to avoid attachments
    - I only have one man... and he's usually too busy for sex
    - I find myself repeating phrases that my parents used to use on me
    - I tend to order bacon cheeseburgers at fancy restaurants instead of something fancy
    - I still don't know left from right
    - My new years plans, which I find rather exciting, involve staying at home and watching a movie marathon of bad horror movies
    - the biggest fights I get in don't involve yelling, they involve who's family we are going to see on certain holidays
    - I haven't written a single book yet either
    - nor am I running for political office
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #2
    Senior Member kyli_ryan's Avatar
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    My 16 year old self would be disappointed that I've been out of school for a semester... even after finishing a degree.



    I'm getting back in though, little Kyli, CALM DOWN!

  3. #3
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    what parts of your present existence would be a total let down to your 16 year old self (who somehow thought that you would be considerably cooler)?
    • I work in a cubicle, not a space shuttle
    • I've never written a book
    • I'm a 40-year old single guy
    • I've not, nor am I likely to, change the world


    Ouch, those sound awful. But they're all true. I had high expectations -- unrealistic ones, to be honest. But I considered them easily in reach. Didn't work out that way.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    @kelric I suspect that 16 year olds aren't that familiar with life sometimes
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Awesome thread idea.

    - I didn't marry my high school sweetheart.. infact, I've been single most of my adult life.
    - I still live with my parents.
    - I haven't built an empire of any sort.
    - I haven't even made plans for a large, dark foreboding mansion that would scare little kids away on halloween... or any other day of the week. Instead, I'm making plans for a tiny, comfy-looking classy place.
    - I haven't even started writing.
    - I'm not an artist.


    For that record.. Things my 16 year old self would have been very impressed to find out:

    - I'm strong. Not only that, I'm confident.
    - I took up snowboarding and didn't die trying to learn.
    - I'm the most stable person in my entire family.
    - I get compared to my favorite family member of all time a lot.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #6
    a scream in a vortex nanook's Avatar
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    as far as i can remember, i only had the most abstract vision for myself. i wanted to stay someone, who believes in something [greater than existing physically] and i did. in my mind, beliefs ought to evolve, so i had no expectations about what exactly i should believe in later in life.

    apart from that, i wanted to become more extroverted, because i thought that becoming more extroverted is about becoming myself more fully.
    and i fully failed at extroversion. but then i understood, that this goal was conceptually ill defined. and i became myself more fully. but i am not fully there yet. for me [the most introverted persona/ego], the idea of becoming 'extroverted' was really a symbol for getting over my ego altogether. that is, getting into the soul - of which i had no concept or vision at the age of 16 - and even over the soul, into nondual awakening.

    like most at the age i thought, that getting over one's self is about forcefully mastering/dominating one self [against the 'weak self's lazy wishes'], which is really a task desired and accomplished by the ego. my ego isn't remotely strong enough to pull that shit off, but culture made me believe that this goal makes sense. i was suspicious about it, but I didn't have an alternative, so i had to fall for it.

    i used to be social phobic and now i see that my anxiety (not my introversion) was created by my attempt at controlling who i ought to "be" to other people, which was identical to my attempt at forcing me intro extroversion. i have mostly given up on this control and i no longer feel this general anxiety at all times about everyone. that does not make me any more extroverted. and i fear all those aggressive & deluded monsters for what they could do to me. but i can walk among most people and often feel intimately connected with those people, who are entirely incompatible with me by nature, meaning that any "attempt" at "being" something appreciated to them would be futile. it was those people who i feared the most (often), and i thought i would have to "connect" with them (behaviorally), just to get over my fear. now i feel intimate and have no desire to talk to/interact with them. they are not for me, i am not for them. but they are me, in different incarnations. that's what intimacy feels like, at it's peak (i am not always at the peak). it's just a way at looking into eyes, without being distracted by the artificial separation of anticipating dramas/conflicts.

    but at 16 i didn't even have real hopes of ever achieving extroversion (my false interpretation of this symbol). this ambition maxed out a little later, at 20 or so, when i was most insecure about survival amongst people. i am still insecure about that. but i sort of don't care about survival that much. i would rather die, than to make any further attempt at forcing myself into an egoic cage / self-manipulation / false self any more than i still am.

    some goals were talked into me:
    they said one has to work, so i "wanted" to become [insert various unrealistic professions like grafic/advertising designer ...].
    i became a little bit kafkaesque instead. i was verry scared of this at 16.

  7. #7
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I'm happy this way, but the 16 yr old me would feel miserable:
    I have just one rl friend.
    I still haven't bought a car.
    I'm aiming for a quite boring job (good money though).
    I still haven't done an exchange program.
    Not many things, but since I'm just 23 it kinda makes sense.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  8. #8
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    I was pretty pessimistic at 16. My biggest 'letdown' to myself would be that I wound up getting into psychology and humanitarian concerns.. but it'd only be a letdown because, at 16, I didn't know how neat and fulfilling it was.

  9. #9
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Actually, when I was 18, I wrote a letter to my 30 year old self... and I found it recently (in a journal) and it was pretty funny.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  10. #10
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    Um, everything. I mean I was as much of as a dreamer at 16 as I am now; my 16 year old self would probably be dissapointed by what little I have achieved in my life up until now (22 btw). Then again, I now know to hold less expetations for myself in the future, kinda.

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