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View Poll Results: Would you rather be pitied or hated?

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  • Pitied

    11 26.83%
  • Hated

    30 73.17%
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  1. #31
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Hate all the way!
    I would not be surprised if you chose hate over love, too.

  2. #32
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I'd rather feel like someone hates me than that someone feels pity for me.
    But, pragmatically speaking, what if the person that hates me is violent and wants me dead?
    In this case I'd rather have him feeling pity for me. It's not like I would care that much about his opinion.
    ^this is a good reason what pity is more pragmatic than hate. Those who vote hate are apparently allowing emotion and superficial perception unduely effect their judgment.
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  3. #33
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    I would not be surprised if you chose hate over love, too.
    Oh you.
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  4. #34
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    I suppose hated if I had to choose. Pitied implies you're perceived is being rather weak and helpless and in a bad situation in life.

    Hated isn't always bad. Sometimes people hate someone for silly reasons just becaues their values conflict with theirs or something like that. Being hated doesn't necessarily mean you're evi.
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  5. #35
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    ^this is a good reason what pity is more pragmatic than hate. Those who vote hate are apparently allowing emotion and superficial perception unduely effect their judgment.
    If people can feel either hatred or pity for the same reason, then the "pity" is really just veiled hatred anyway. If that's the scenario we're talking about, then I would take issue with the argument that pity is more pragmatic than hate...it's just less visibly bad. It's like asking if one would prefer their turd gift-wrapped.

    If we're not talking about pity and hatred in that limited context (i.e., given X, where X is some trait or act connected to you, would you rather have people hate you for X or pity you for X?), then the question becomes more like, "would you rather do something that would be more likely to garner hatred, or would you rather do something that would be more likely to garner pity?" If that's what we're talking about, then sure, I can see where there would be practical benefits to the pity option. But why would I ever want to do anything that would garner me pity?
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  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    They both suck.

    There are endless possibilities for this.

    People have mentioned respect in this thread but I think it's a mistake to assume that hatred goes hand and hand with respect and that pity lacks respect.

    If I absolutely had to choose one, I'd probably choose pity because hatred has more potential for violence and destruction and I try to avoid that.

  7. #37
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Being pitied makes me angry. Being hated makes me sad and self-pitying. I'd rather be angry than sad. THEREFORE... I'd rather be pitied than hated.

    EDIT: It depends on whether I feel like I'm in the right. If I feel like I'm in the right, I'd rather be hated because I remain secure in who I am and can let their hate bounce off me. But if they hate me because of something I did that I know was wrong -- or if I'm not totally sure why they hate me -- then I'd rather be pitied.

    EDIT again:
    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    People have mentioned respect in this thread but I think it's a mistake to assume that hatred goes hand and hand with respect and that pity lacks respect.
    I agree with this. Pity does presume being in a "better"/"superior" place than the person being pitied, but that doesn't imply disrespect. The behaviors I associate with disrespect -- rudeness, talking over someone, treating them inhumanely -- are not behaviors associated with pity.
    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Hated. At least, then, my ideas might wind up having some future positive influence. If I'm pitied, they probably wouldn't surface.
    I'm not sure if I understand where this comes from. How does being pitied mean being ignored?
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  8. #38
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    pitied means you are pathetic, hated means that you have a personality
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  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I'm not sure if I understand where this comes from. How does being pitied mean being ignored?
    Ideas from hated people have impact and are examined for worth more thoroughly, especially after time has passed. Ideas from pitied people are treated.. differently.

    I'd say that my "ideas from pitiful" idea is close to the following phenomenon: if you witness a five-year-old crying because his favorite toy broke, you're just going to assume that he's crying because he's five years old and really doesn't know what what sort of things crying is typically reserved for. You'd give him a mothering response but you would largely ignore the content of his complaints. We treat pitiful people as we do this five-year-old.

    It's not the most exact analogy, but.. whatever, I think it works.

    It's just an idea, for now. I have absolutely nothing to support this aside from intuition at the moment.

  10. #40
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    ^ I dunno. I do see where you're coming from, but -- and maybe this is because I'm an ESTJ -- when I pity people, I pity them for their situation, and I don't pity them because of who they are as people. Meaning: I figure that behind the influence of the situation is a valid human being, with needs that aren't being met, that should be met.

    For example: I would fix the kid's toy and not just feel sad for him because he's a 5-year-old and crying. He may be crying because he's 5, but it sucks for your toy to break regardless of how old you are. If you come to me with a broken computer (another type of toy) and a whole lot of data on it, my first response may be "Holy crap that sucks" (=pity), but my second response will be "Let's see if there's any way to get that data back".

    ...Wow, I don't know why the "pity" definition is so hard for me to wrap my head around. Everyone else seems to have come to a consensus about it. I'll bet it's type-related!
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