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  1. #91
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Again if you're being told EVERYONE feels this way, what can you do if you have no confirmation of that?

    Start a thread that no one cares about since they pretty much all feel that way?

    Or start a thread to both confirm the facts, and address the issue?
    Oh, ok. I see.

    Well, to answer the question in the OP: No, you should not be banned, because you haven't broken any rules. Jennifer made that clear. Yes, you have been bullied. People have been assholes to you on Vent. But like @prplchknz said, there is no such thing as a blameless party. For the most part, no one on this thread is saying that you are solely responsible for this situation. However, you are a reactive person, and because there are so many people on this forum who like to toy with reactive people (this happened to Marm too, while she was here, and it's the reason why she was banned), people have started to toy with you too. You have a reputation now, of being easy to provoke, and a lot of NTs think that's entertaining.

    My recommendation: Prove them wrong. I know that there's only so much ignoring you can do (and as you said earlier, you've already been doing a lot of ignoring), but taking the high road, taking deep breaths before posting, being a snitch (i.e. notifying mods whenever people provoke you like that? if I remember correctly, personal insults are a punishable offense on this forum), etc, and maybe that reputation will dissipate. It doesn't mean you have to lose all your fire/feistiness/etc, but it does mean you'll have to not call people on their bullshit whenever you feel like they need to be called on it.

    Moral of this story: Don't feed the trolls!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #92
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Or start a less dramatic thread like:

    Subject: Changed Attitude in Vent?

    Post: In my personal experience, I have noticed a changed attitude in vent. Months ago I would log in and be able to chat with 5-7 people on Typology related subjects. I learned a lot and it has given me an impetus to return to both this site and vent. However, the last couple weeks I haven't been able to have those conversations. Instead the vent conversations seem to be focused on what's going on with each other's lives.

    I am wondering if others have noticed this change, and if they have noticed it, would they be willing to create a channel/group where the focus is on X, Y, and Z kinds of topics?


    Note the difference between that and your first post?
    Yeah, I am a bad communicator when I am pissed. Nothing new there.

    My goal when I made the op was to confirm if people here hated me that much, and if so why don't they just get rid of me. If they didn't I wanted to know who was willing to address the issue.

  3. #93
    Member Kimchitasi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Its the principle. Vent used to be a place to go where anyone, regardless of their opinion, could speak in an intellectual manner. Theorize those opinions and gain insight. Now its been over run by a group of bullies, and is the equivalent of a high school sleep over.

  4. #94
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Thestarchdefenders actually calling me a cunt, seriously less than five minutes after writing their "nice" posts.
    Do you have proof of that? If so, give it to the mods and let them slap an infraction on the person's ass.
    You either want results, or you don't.

  5. #95
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Yeah, I am a bad communicator when I am pissed. Nothing new there.

    My goal when I made the op was to confirm if people here hated me that much, and if so why don't they just get rid of me. If they didn't I wanted to know who was willing to address the issue.
    Well, I don't hate you. I will tell you though that I rolled my eyes at your thread because I found it overly dramatic and annoying, and considering that even if 100% of the people on here did in fact have emotional points to waste on hating you... it's still not a bannable offense. Therefore I didn't see a real point to your thread other than you whining about what a few people (out of the hundreds who regularly post here) said to you.

    So if your real goal is to get a group of people discussing topics, then start a group! Think about who you have some good interactions with on the forum and invite them to it. If you are able to then get them into vent. Talk to the mods about if there is a way for you to have a channel dedicated to this group, etc.

    If you want to fight this behavior, that's just fine, but your methods need to be tweaked in order to get the results you desire.

    If what you desire isn't what I outlined above, and instead it is being treated with respect by people... Well, there is a little you can do towards that goal, and a lot you can't control. Either you can modify your behavior so it is more friendly to large groups of people, or you can choose to not care. With either choice (that you make) there will be both positive and negative consequences.

    One cannot have their cake and eat it too.

  6. #96
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    You're shocked every time you see me speak with Dave. Why? Because we just discuss things. Why? Because he is capable of it.
    I was surprised he put up with the amount of talking you do about your MBTI type. Every single day, for hours on end. Who wouldn't? This is not news to you that everyone has heard this speech a million times. So yes, it is surprising.
    There comes a time where no one cares anymore and the same conversation gets very very old. I'm sure you understand this. That's not exactly ideas and theories. That is you talking about your functions, behavior, and type.
    Yes, you are generally engaging, and you do say interesting things every now and then, even if it is at times ignorant( like homosexuality being a fetish/choice); it does starts up a conversation.
    You usually refuse to acknowledge what anyone else has to say. You are constantly dismissive and very reluctant to change your mind on anything; people generally act in turn. You ask what they think, and if it is in disagreement, you don't exactly react pleasantly.
    This is coming from a person who quite likes you( while being aware of your opinion of me). I enjoy your company on vent when you're not bitching about your mbti type, or calling someone an idiot for not agreeing with you in regards to the new "theory" you have conjured up.
    I've watched you crucify others for what you believe is them behaving in a hypocritical manner, even though you yourself have displayed hypocritical behavior countless times. This is normal, everyone is a hypocrite every now and then, and since you pride yourself on being fair, you have to acknowledge this.
    I noticed your main issue is your inability to understand what someone else has to say or their point of view. You usually take criticism as an insult and a form of disrespect rather than an honest opinion, which usually sets you off.

    People are just generally tired of communicating with you because of this. They don't bother investing time with someone who constantly wants to talk about themselves and their ideas without listening to what they also have to say.

  7. #97
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    TG, I don't deny that people pick on you, sometimes in groups, just to get a rise out of you and I agree that this is unacceptable. Some of the responses to your concerns in this thread have been downright distasteful.

    However, in light of your point about throwing things into the conversation and not expecting anyone to respond to them ... no. There are times when people have ignored your comments and continued with their own conversations at which point you usually complain about how no one is paying any attention to your contributions because they dislike you and are basically stupid people, etc. I have seen this happen more than once.

    On the other hand, if people do respond to something you said in a manner that you don't like (which is sometimes justifiable and sometimes not) you fly off the handle. It's a no-win situation.

    I agree with you that a lot of the conversation on Vent is silly, some people enjoy it (I often do) and others don't, which is fine, it's a matter of personal preference. From my experience, it's not invariably the case and I've seen several thought-provoking discussions take place as well. Your attitude, however, is dismissive from the get go, and might make people reluctant to involve you in conversation if they believe that you're just going to dismiss them out of hand. You're both entitled to your attitudes, preference and opinions, but if you're looking for common ground that you can both enjoy, your way of going about it is likely not going to yield any results.

    There are ways to get what you want. You have to put some work into getting them. Digging in your heels and expecting them to just come to you isn't going to work. Like Saturned said, rethinking your strategies might.

    I also believe that the onus shouldn't be wholly on you and that people can be more civil. However, civility is a two way street.

  8. #98
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    What's going on? Is this Vent drama spilling into the forum?

    I like you TG, fwiw. We don't talk much though. Maybe I'll hate you if we do.

  9. #99
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Well, I don't hate you. I will tell you though that I rolled my eyes at your thread because I found it overly dramatic and annoying, and considering that even if 100% of the people on here did in fact have emotional points to waste on hating you... it's still not a bannable offense. Therefore I didn't see a real point to your thread other than you whining about what a few people (out of the hundreds who regularly post here) said to you.

    So if your real goal is to get a group of people discussing topics, then start a group! Think about who you have some good interactions with on the forum and invite them to it. If you are able to then get them into vent. Talk to the mods about if there is a way for you to have a channel dedicated to this group, etc.

    If you want to fight this behavior, that's just fine, but your methods need to be tweaked in order to get the results you desire.

    If what you desire isn't what I outlined above, and instead it is being treated with respect by people... Well, there is a little you can do towards that goal, and a lot you can't control. Either you can modify your behavior so it is more friendly to large groups of people, or you can choose to not care. With either choice (that you make) there will be both positive and negative consequences.

    One cannot have their cake and eat it too.





    I don't find the premise of the thread stupid. People have been banned before for not exactly breaking forum rules, but for being consistently disruptive. If I were the cause of the constant disruption, I could be banned for that.

    It should also be noted that last night, I was advised how pissed off Patches was going to be about my behavior. I was told that ventrillo is unmoderated there are no rules except don't post porn, and if I was really an adult, I wouldn't need to go to the mods anyway. How I should just leave, and that all I am doing is pissing the Mods off.

    If that isn't an example of coercion in the manner I am clearly stating I am trolled in, I don't know what is. That emotional manipulation bullshit is toxic, and there is a group dynamic of this happening on vent.

  10. #100
    Anew Leaf
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