So I was wondering what is the craziest thing you've told a person, just for your amusement.
I told my vegetarian room mate that I was afraid of vegetarians. Out of the fear that the reason they didn't eat meat is they love animals but secretly hated people and if they could eat people they would. If I ever saw a pissed off vegetarian heating a pan/with a knife I'd run the other way, and I would not believe the "Oh I'm making tofu" excuse.
Don't ask me why I told her that.