sometimes it gets really hard. sometimes I have random times when I get quite depressed...
on the surface though I'm usually happy. but if you start looking it get's darker.
I'm not too busy, and if something could potentially stress me out I convince myself it'll work it's self out... the people in my life are really good though I feel like the dark secrets balance it out... hm.
Eh, I wouldn't call it all fun and games all the time. There's parts where being me is good and all, but actually being me, when I get cynical about life in general, that's where you don't want to actually be me. It's like an inner storm is constantly brewing inside me. Family life is safe, which I feel blessed about. But my own inner stuff is pretty intense... and I'm super sensitive even though I put on a tough stoic front. It's like I'm always searching for equilibrium... emotional especially. I'm kind of pent up, I must admit.
It's like I see life for what it is, both the good and the bad. I yearn for my ideals to turn to reality, and sometimes I yearn so much that it hurts. So I end up defaulting to a more cynical and skeptical outlook towards life. I still dream big though, but I feel like sometimes reality falls short to what I want it to be. I acknowledge what reality is, but I'm not always thrilled about it.
“Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche