So, I've been dealing with this a lot lately. I will make plans with one of my shy friends (which is most of them, really; we're like peas and carrots ), set what I think is a concrete date and time for shenanigans to ensue, and then at the last minute I'm told "OH I can't do it because of blah blah blah."
This is sort of unnerving because, you know, I cleared a space in my day for them, turned away others who wanted to do something with me during that time because I stick to my commitments, and now I just have this empty huge chunk of time where I'm not doing anything at all and by time I get the news it's too late to make plans with anyone else.
Most of the time, the reasons they give me are very good and understandable ones...but they're typically reasons that existed when the plans were being decided on but the person just didn't put two-and-two together until right before we're supposed to go out.
And this isn't some party situation with a lot of people, it's a one-on-one sort of thing.
They seem to genuinely feel bad for cancelling, but I can't help but feel like it's a way for them to worm out of socializing, or maybe they made plans with someone else (with a more forceful personality) because they didn't know how to say "No." and had to stare at their toes as they broke the news to me.
The frequent offenders are an ISFP, INFP, and INTP.
Is this an IxxP thing or have you experienced other shy-people types doing this too? What do you think is the underlying motivation/reasoning behind it?
I have to admit that at least they give me some notice. I have a J-type friend whose INFP woman friend just plain doesn't show up because she completely forgets that they had plans at all, despite the fact that she's usually the one who made the plans in the first place. Drives him absolutely nuts.