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  1. #61
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I have to be totally honest and say that this is what I find rudest of all - waiting for a better invite or deciding what's most exciting at the last minute when others are expecting you.
    No offense taken =) Actually I was going to remark before when writing that, that the EP motivation can actually be slightly more superficial and hurtful. And like I said, it goes back to compromise and understanding how ones actions affect another. To clarify, the use of the word "exciting" was not entirely accurate. Since EP's (especially EP 7) desire is to be constantly exposed to new things, many times they have no way of knowing all their possibilities until the last minute. THEN they feel more okay with making their decision. Their decision isn't entirely based on excitement. They can have some other value or priority crop into this. And tbf I have known quite a few EP's ditch out on very exciting opportunities to do what their inner circle of friends is doing. I see them flake on those outside the circle more frequently (not that it makes it okay). Ofcourse any type can be a self centered jerk and do it because they just don't care.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #62
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I would do that to an estp out of fear of exhaustion

    Promoterphobia: (pra-mow-terr-foe-bee-ah): n. Psychological disorder- fear of ESTP's.

    It's a real thing.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  3. #63
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    No offense taken =) Actually I was going to remark before when writing that, that the EP motivation can actually be slightly more superficial and hurtful. And like I said, it goes back to compromise and understanding how ones actions affect another. To clarify, the use of the word "exciting" was not entirely accurate. Since EP's (especially EP 7) desire is to be constantly exposed to new things, many times they have no way of knowing all their possibilities until the last minute. THEN they feel more okay with making their decision. Their decision isn't entirely based on excitement. They can have some other value or priority crop into this. And tbf I have known quite a few EP's ditch out on very exciting opportunities to do what their inner circle of friends is doing. I see them flake on those outside the circle more frequently (not that it makes it okay). Ofcourse any type can be a self centered jerk and do it because they just don't care.
    Yeah, this all makes sense.

    I think what could be particularly hurtful (and it isn't necessariy type related though it could be more likely with something like ExxP 7) is when someone assures you verbally how important you are to them, how immensely they value your friendship and how they want to prioritize spending time with you. Yet in practise, what mostly happens is that they flake on you and prioritize the time they spend with other people - possibly even other people who they run down and call "superficial" and "shallow" when speaking with you.

    I've had this exact thing happen, and though it took longer than it should have, it ultimately told me exactly where I stood with that person. If I was wrong about the conclusion that I reached, there was really no way for me to tell...
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  4. #64
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    I'm flaky

  5. #65
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    Yes, I'm flaky, but it's not just because I'm shy, it's because sometimes I make plans but when the moment comes to carry them out, I don't feel like doing it anymore because I'm feeling lazy or I'm not in a very good mood or I just don't want to see people.

    I try not to cancel at the last minute because I know it's annoying but sometimes, I really, really, really can't stand the prospect of going out.

  6. #66
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I am not flaky. My personal discomfort is a lot less important than a promise that I've made to someone else.

  7. #67
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Outsider View Post
    I am not flaky. My personal discomfort is a lot less important than a promise that I've made.
    What if you aren't going to have fun? Seems like if you promise someone to hang out in a relaxed and fun setting, you are implying that you are going to be relaxed and fun while following through with the promise.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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    by sns.

  8. #68
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    What if you aren't going to have fun? Seems like if you promise someone to hang out in a relaxed and fun setting, you are implying that you are going to be relaxed and fun while following through with the promise.
    Most of the situations I would feel like flaking on wouldn't probably be fun and relaxed to me in the first place, but I can put up a pretty good act and trick myself and others to keep harmony. That said, I don't like making plans and promises, but I don't really back out from them once I've done so.

  9. #69
    Glycerine
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    I used to be very dependable on commitments but when it seemed like I was getting much more offended by flakiness than most other people, then stopped caring and became a bit of a flake myself (but I typically tell the people). I love it when you sit around for hours waiting for someone to do a school project or some other thing that you depend on them for. I should clarify that if it's an important commitment/long planned one, I try my best to keep it. If it's an informal social thing, I may not go because I am tired.

  10. #70
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I don't do that, I'm not shy though, I might be isfp though, though not like this threads isfps.
    I don't think it's directly type related (nor did I mean to pin it on ISFPs). IXXPs could possibly be more inclined to do it but I wouldn't attribute it specifically to one type. Anyway, I think this is more of a value thing. Like I said, I'm a shy person and naturally want to shirk a lot of social commitments but I choose not to on principle.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

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