User Tag List

First 36768485868788 Last

Results 851 to 860 of 871

  1. #851
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    14,031

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by earthtrekker1775 View Post
    You know Disco, I was thinking about this. She may get hit on and asked out by customers very frequently. Her standard answer may very well be no. However, it might be worth your time and effort to talk to her again and let her know you are not just another lame drunk who likes to flirt. Ask her if you read the signals wrong, and if she would agree to coffee no strings attached, just a chance to talk to you in a non-bar/alcohol environment. If she agrees, great. You get a second chance, and she knows you have already shown more interest and determination than 99% of the guys that hit on her. If she says no, you haven't lost anything you didn't already consider gone.
    While I certainly see your point, I kind of turn off to people once I've been rejected.

    I can usually still be friends with them, but there's no chance for more than that.

    I've been in there enough times by now that if she said no, she knew what the deal was.

    There are many fish in the sea my friend, and I'm bringing my rod and reel out with me tonight.

  2. #852
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    868

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Circle View Post
    I see what you're saying. What if the whole truth is hurtful? How then do you act with care for their feelings?
    The whole truth is never hurtful, if it is indeed the whole truth. If it seems like the whole truth is hurtful, one needs a more panoramic view of the situation, because that means the perspective does not include every relevant variable and data point.

    Deficit/negativity is not intrinsic to the fabric and dynamic of reality, whereas positivity/grace is. Deficit/negativity is an overlaying distortion. There is always good available to counterbalance and defeat evil.
    Likes Kheledon liked this post

  3. #853
    Senior Member Circle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    116

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia. View Post
    The whole truth is never hurtful, if it is indeed the whole truth. If it seems like the whole truth is hurtful, one needs a more panoramic view of the situation, because that means the perspective does not include every relevant variable and data point.
    Well-said. I guess you could scope out and try to capture the complexity and then in some way it becomes impersonal?

  4. #854
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,558

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Circle View Post
    Can you be both honest and careful with someone's feelings?
    You can try, but there are things that some people just don't want to hear, however kindly and carefully presented. We cannot dump all responsibility for this type of exchange on the speaker. The listener has some responsibility as well.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #855
    Senior Member Circle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    116

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    You can try, but there are things that some people just don't want to hear, however kindly and carefully presented. We cannot dump all responsibility for this type of exchange on the speaker. The listener has some responsibility as well.
    I agree, of course. But, should not the onus be on the initiator of the conversation?

  6. #856
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Circle View Post
    Can you be both honest and careful with someone's feelings?
    yes, but careful doesn't mean you'll never say things that don't hurt. That's what I was getting at with the word brutal. It's also catchier than "the honest but careful with someone's feelings thread."

  7. #857
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,558

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Circle View Post
    I agree, of course. But, should not the onus be on the initiator of the conversation?
    The initiator of the conversation is not always the person making the brutally truthful statement. After all, isn't the classic example the woman who asks a SO, "does this dress/jeans/etc make me look fat"? She asked, so by your criterion, the onus is on her.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #858
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    I read "brutal honesty" as "welp, here's your chance to be very direct"

  9. #859
    All Natural! All Good!
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    886

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    The initiator of the conversation is not always the person making the brutally truthful statement. After all, isn't the classic example the woman who asks a SO, "does this dress/jeans/etc make me look fat"? She asked, so by your criterion, the onus is on her.


    Great post.
    Strychnine is all-natural,
    So strychnine is all good.
    It's Godly and righteous,
    So eat it, you should.
    Who are you to refuse nature's will?


    Don't use the multiquote; it was planted by the devil to deceive us.

    Social Role: Asscrack/Piece of Shit/Public Defecator/Spiteful Urinator


    A different type everyday - so no need to type me anymore. But feel free to enjoy the sound of your own asscrack.

  10. #860
    Senior Member Ursa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    753

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    The initiator of the conversation is not always the person making the brutally truthful statement. After all, isn't the classic example the woman who asks a SO, "does this dress/jeans/etc make me look fat"? She asked, so by your criterion, the onus is on her.
    The onus is on her because in the classic example she expects a particular biased answer. Her set-up entraps the answerer, which is immature and dishonest. Her results are limited by the very way she phrases the question. People like this are hard to deal with because they create a culture around emotional manipulation and lies, and when they cannot accept the truth they only have themselves to blame. It would be another example entirely had she asked with innocent curiosity. This is rare and not covered in the classic example invoked.

    Perhaps listener and initiator are not always two distinct people either.
    Likes Dyslexxie liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. The Never Ending Thread
    By ygolo in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 04-20-2016, 04:50 PM
  2. The lame jokes thread
    By Sahara in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 211
    Last Post: 05-27-2015, 03:29 AM
  3. The Brutally Honest Thread
    By phobik in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 10-10-2014, 10:06 AM
  4. The Entertain Niffer Thread
    By niffer in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 07-04-2007, 02:29 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO